Kelly Slater’s Abu-Dhabi wave pool featuring “world’s longest barrel” opens for business!

“The biggest and most advanced artificial wave facility in the world.”

It’s been almost one year since the world’s greatest athlete and, rapidly, one its most opportunistic businessmen, Kelly Slater, delivered a brace of surfing champions to his eponymous wave pool in the Persian Gulf, the capital city of the United Arab Emirates.

The small-wave wizard Filipe Toledo, no lover of Teahupoo it’s true but the greatest ever in waves that ascend to the waist but not beyond, showed his “adult” and “barbaric turns” at the tank.

The procession of stars included WSL in-water commentator Strider Wasilewski, noted for “attack dog tits”, three-time world champion Gabriel Medina, eight-time world champion Stephanie Gilmore, Caroline Marks, Jeremy Flores, “Human Viagra” Raimana Van Bastolaer, iconic filmmaker Taylor Steele, along with Kelly Slater’s former personal assistant Stephen “Belly” Bell. 

There was room for error on the wave yet it still had power and a heavy barrel,” wrote Strider Wasilewski.

And, now, after much ado, the joint is going to open to the public in around six weeks with bookings opening in September. 

In a press release, Modon Properties claimed, 

“Surf Abu Dhabi will be the biggest and most advanced artificial wave facility in the world. Designed in partnership with Kelly Slater Wave Co., the landmark destination will offer a high-performance surfing experience, featuring the world’s longest ride, biggest barrel, and largest man-made wave pool.” 

And, in a post on the SurfAbuDhabi Instagram account:

WE’RE ON! Can’t wait to see you all in October. Thank you for staying curious and sharing the love for Surf Abu Dhabi, it’s all happening! 

And before you flood our DMs – bookings for October sessions will be live on our website in September. 

No mention of price etc, although if similar to Slater’s Lemoore facility expect 50k a day for the whole pool, minimum or 20-ish for a morning or night session.

Travellers may want to temper their passions while in the UAE, howevs. UAE got the death penalty of apostasy, you’re gonna get a knock on the door on your hotel if you swear on WhatsApp ($68k fine and prison) and blasphemy will get you five years in the pen. 

A small price to pay for the waves of your life etc.