"Ventura has had fatal shark attacks every year since 1983."
They sure don’t build them like the Malloys anymore. One of Northern Southern California’s most iconic surf families, Chris, Keith and Dan have carved a path on how to be both a surfer and not wilting li’l wimp at the very same time. They climb mountains, hunt game, chew tobacco, make important films and ride cold-ish waves.
Neither of the three is an influencer, thus the general surfing public sees less of them than desirable but Chris, I think maybe the oldest or , just popped into the social medias, likely after doing something tough and fulfilling, to perform a classic bit of smoke blowing.
The Ventura native, you may recall, here last regaling us with a tale of the time he fought a whole Canadian hockey team by himself.
“I was in a restaurant in Waikiki with this girl I really liked,” he told Derek Rielly. “A Canadian hockey team walked in and one of them just started feeling her up. Right there in front of me! I was out-numbered but it drove me crazy. I jumped on the guy and got him good, three or four times with a beer mug. The rest of the team beat the shit out of me. I woke up in a cop car. The next week I was in G-land and my ribs were so sore I could barely surf. Perfect Speedies and I’m in the channel wincing. Another lesson learned.”
The bit that brought Chris out recently, anyhow, was an Instagram short which listed the five worst beach towns in California.
Fifth place Oceanside, grimy beaches, crime ridden streets, seedy outdated shops. Fourth Ventura, crime and homelessness, a dull dated bad vibe with little to do. Third, Long Beach more a port than a coastal retreat. Second is Huntington, packed trashy shores polluted with rowdy “bro” crowds. First is Imperial Beach, a “grim coastal disaster.”
The comments were, predictably, filled with locals from each burgh who felt saddened, offended or both.
Not Chris Malloy.
Knowing well that this is the exact sort of bad publicity true surfers crave, the hirsute hero simply declared, “Ventura has had fatal shark attacks every year since 1983.
Brilliant and worthy of a Pulitzer Prize.
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Schlepped cameras across Indonesian dry reefs for dude in the late 90s early 00s.
legit motherfucker!
also elo forever
Chris and the hungry sharks are my heroes… don’t forget the needles and the sewage spills.
I mean,..you don’t want anyone to see you surfing behind the compound on a week day. So, you slide down to I.B., and get some sick barrels. Yeah, it’s a dump but I’ve had some deep ones there,…on Uncle Sam’s payroll.
Always dug Chris and bros .. real peeps right there.
Mehloy
Always thought little Dan was pretty manly defending himself alone at OTW a few years back when those local teens tried to jump him on the beach for objecting to being burned. Definitely can hold his own!
WSL officially bringing back Pipe as the final season event next year, removing non elimination rounds for all events, and while they’re still doing a “mid season” cut after the 7th event, all competitors get to come back for Pipe. The best part? Its back to determining champs by points throughout the season (no more “final 5 day, whoever wins today is the world champ” nonsense)
Good moves in the right direction WSL!
The Malloy’s are all super nice people but not so sure they are the rough and tumble cowboy characters everyone makes them out to be. Definitely embrace the outdoor, western lifestyle choosing to live on Central Coast ranches and such but growing up with a Radon at the backyard boat dock must have been pretty enjoyable.
As to Ventura, it’s definitely packed with sharks, dirty beaches, homeless everywhere, shitty waves, and asshole locals. Stay away.
Whenever someone is just instantly and reflexively negative about an area it just attracts attention these days. If spots I like are getting discussed on the internet I will acknowledge the positive but overblow all the negatives. If another area doesn’t ahve one of those issues be sure to bring that up as well.
The beaches do suck in Ventura though. Blows out way earlier/faster than the north LA county spots. The best days are often sorta predictable so you can get crowds dense with good surfers making it hard to get waves. And on those bigger winter swells that get hyped by surfline everywhere in Ventura is overloaded.
Oxnard shores was always full of jackass’s and bringing a 120ft crew boat into ventura harbor for the shipyard always sucked. Four engines and the only way to barley keep it in control was to keep the outboards in clutch. Still made a 6inch wake and some yacht pimp would always bitch about me spilling his cocktail 🍸
Dudes are legit, boat or not. Success does not make you not-a-cowboy. Just show up at a local branding, etc. Malloys rolling heavy and legit.
There’s a sign there over the 101 downtown that says EAT STAY SURF. I don’t know who to trust