The Fort Sumter moment... mayor Tom Tate declaring that he intends to set up a bar on Broadbeach for the summer of '26.
Australia is currently in the dead of winter but that hasn’t stopped shivering locals on the Gold Coast of dreaming about better days ahead. Long warm days, warm ocean waters, warm winds massaging a warm-hearted people. It might be thought, regarding the uniformity of the population, there, that all Gold Coasters like the same things. Surprising maybe, then, that a vicious war has broken out between the alcoholics and the environmentalists.
The Fort Sumter moment happened to be Gold Coast Mayor Tom Tate declaring that he intends to set up a bar on Broadbeach for the summer of ’26.
“The ideal beach bar is that I can go down there and enjoy the surf,” he said. “I’ll have my XXXX Gold [beer] with my wife next to me … and then enjoy the best assets we have on the Gold Coast among friends and family.”
Alcoholics from Coolangatta up to Runaway Bay nodding heads vigorously.
But then shots fired from environmentalists. The first from Bond University coastal erosion researcher Mark Ellis who said beach bars are a pure fantasy due damage done by big storm Alfred.
“The issue is you actually need to have a beach to have it on,” he said. “I think from an environmental point of view and a climate and modelling point of view, it’s not really a good long-term business model because the next storm surge is going to increase.”
Environmentalists from Tweed Heads to Coombahba flashing large thumbs ups.
A city spokesperson, attempting to tamp down violence declared, “This is only taking a small part of the beach, not even 50 metres. We’ve got 66 kilometres of beach so, if you don’t want to go to the beach bar, you’ve got [plenty of beach] to choose from.”
If this is a zero sum game, though, it likely won’t be enough.
Do you have a horse in this race?
Team Drunk or Team Green?
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Makes sense because you’ve got to be drunk to surf amongst the hordes over there.
Raise the bar, on stilts, upwards into the communal church space of sky and squint into the sun of stoner tinted social progress with a frosty in hand. The drunken skunk, a communal centre for the forever bender inclined. Underground concrete mosh box on bedrock beneath for the beerpong loving lewd and lairy, doubling as air raid shelter incase the dickheads get their way with the world. Adequate cubicles for the tender stroking of ham shanks. I have a mop and will travel if you need cleaning staff.
Regarding the uniformity of the population, we have many lesbians and Brazilians now.
Gold Coast~ the home of Dickens Cider
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Bloody Mary / no tampon fued !
I thought Bugs was mayor?
Benthic ass behavior by all involved
Is the Gold Coast Mayor Tom Tate related to Australia’s finest example of surfing manliness, Sir Les Patterson ?
(pictured here having a breakfast tipple before hitting the waves)
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When he says “the best assets we have on the Gold Coast”, does he mean the buxom Coffey sisters ?
(pictured here in ‘surfwear’, as usual)
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Will Sir Les have a ‘hands on’ role in the bar ?
(pictured here in the 1980’s with the Coffey sisters coterie of mother’s)
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Typically BG, more questions than answers…
The Coffey’s haven’t appeared on the mighty BG 1’s & 0’s in a minute. Excellent dredging beef. Coulda done without that old pedo looking cunt Les though.
Whaaaaaaat ?
Sir Les Patterson ain’t no “old pedo looking cunt”.
He’s the Coffey sisters Dad.
Or possibly both.
Anyway, he’s a role model to ALL Aussie men, even Derek, Sasha and Dogsie…
“This is only taking a small part of the beach, not even 50 metres. We’ve got 66 kilometres of beach so, if you don’t want to go to the beach bar, you’ve got [plenty of beach] to choose from.”
This city official must have been promised more than a few free beers for his unwavering support
Bond University is the strip mall college of Oz i’m guessing?