We demand the Blitzkrieg at the Banzai!
Professional tennis is dusting off the 1973 concept which pitted then 55-year-old Bobby Riggs against world number one Billie Jean King in a televised match pitting man against woman. An estimated 50 million people tuned in to witness King dismantle Riggs in three sets, earning $100,000 in prize money but, more importantly, the begrudging respect of sporting misogynists around the globe.
Now, 52 years later, women’s number one Belarusian Aryna Sabalenka will face off against washed up Australian Nick Kyrgios in Dubai at the end of December.
“When the world No 1 challenges you, you answer the call. I’ve got massive respect for Aryna; she’s a powerhouse and a true champion,” Kyrgios, 30, declared.
“I have a lot of respect for Nick and his talent, but make no mistake, I’m ready to bring my A-game,” Sabalenka, 27, countered.
Surf fans, everywhere, clamoring.
While the novelty of seeing the best female tennis player in the world take on the 652nd ranked male player is fine enough, surfing is in the unique spot to sex battle two evenly matched champions.
But imagine the thrill of a best-of-three-heats showdown between Oceanside’s Caity Simmers and San Clemente’s Filipe Toledo at plus-sized Pipeline or Teahupo’o. Big sets feathering whilst the two jockey for position, staring each other down. Time ticking. Tension building. The weight of 50-ish percent of the population on each of their shoulders.
It would be much finer than the handicapped tennis business and, I’d imagine, could draw a large international audience if marketed correctly.
Thoughts?
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Simmers Vs Toledo at big Pipe is the best thing Beachgrit has come up with in 2025. Make it happen WSL with Kong, Pottz & Occy in the booth..
The Williams sisters tried this stunt in 1998. Said they could beat any man outside the top 200. 203rd man said “ok”.
He destroyed them 6-1, 6-2.
Eomen surfers are at about early Kelly Slater era of talent. Which is pretty amazing but still about 30 years behind the men.
Maybe see if Layne has something to say…?
Fun fact: Billie-Jean’s win triggered a sudden global fascination with the possibilities of women in sport which flowed all the way down to the tiny pool of pro surfing, where Fred Hemmings and Smirnoff got together and decided to bring chicks into the Smirnoff comp. Fred was sure he’d get some PR mileage out of this. He began including one woman in each of the six opening heats of the Smirnoff, and thus was born a dual-gender pro tour.
Not just that! Later on Billie-Jean herself became an advisor to the IPS women’s tour! mad eh.
Tyler verses a rock
rock wins on technicality
(higher I. Q.)
My dear mother was apparently ridiculed for expressing an interest in golf in her teens by her stepfather and his gang, what I wouldn’t give to time travel back and beat the living shit out of the lot of them.
Would the Kyrgios equivalent be, like, Tomas Hermes? Or Kai Otton? And would the true battle be in the judging tower?
Those guys are too soft spoken. You need a loud mouthed twat. Szekely would be a perfect fit.
Hahahahaha. Kyrgios is a proper peanut ay, cant stand the cunt. Tomic somehow manages to be even worse
Paul Fisher then? A Harrington brother? Ryan Egan?
Your on the right path brother.
I appreciate Aryna’s game but if Nick plays at 50%(he won’t), he’ll beat her 6-0, 6-0 and it won’t be that close. Aryna can’t handle Nick’s serve, can’t handle his groundies while Nick can destroy her best serves and groundies. My guess is Nick loses for the massive payday just as Bobby did way back when…
Accurate breakdown.
yes, that very real probability got lost in the article above big time!
Fair to say few to zero on BG understand the game much less played it at a serious level
I reckon a rematch of Chas and ashton G….bitch slaps at 2 paces??
Only if they do it in dresses.
Two 50-ish lb people…wet.
Caity and Fearlip or Chaz and Dez?
Layne Beachley surfed in the mens’ Surfest QS comp in about ‘98 or so and came fourth in her first round of 32 heat. And in some further trivia, Andy Irons placed third with neither progressing.
The conditions you propose are not a handicap to the cowardly lion?
you could argue either way I think. It is the ultimate test for a world champ, but also, the only place on tour where Filipe would lose to Caity, I guess. The equivalent of what is happening in Tennis would be Caity surfing against Mick Campbell or something like that.
Yeah but Caity ain’t the world no. 1.
Molly would show Felipé who the real Hausmeister is though…
Oh yeah. You’re right.