"A serious example of unsporting conduct."
As you may, or hopefully may not, know, the International Surfing Association’s World Junior Surfing Championships are currently underway in gray Peru. Hundreds, if not thousands, of tweens and teens dressed in colorful singlet surfing thousands, if not millions, of heats (not including repechage).
The ISA’s chief, Fernando Aguerre, had a big dream to make surfing an Olympic sport and, remarkably, made it come true in 2021 when, for the first time in history, surfers competed alongside pole vaulters and rhythmic gymnasts for the chance to earn gold, silver or bronze.
The path to the Olympics, in any case, runs through World Surfing Championships, surf competitions so impossibly tedious as to, truly, challenge watching paint dry for peak boring. This junior version a form of legalized child abuse.
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is a little fella making a derogatory gesture toward the judges and getting his country belted with a heavy fine!
Yes, according to a statement released by the ISA:
Today we saw an incident of a derogatory/rude gesture towards the judges by Makai Castle from Team USA in round 4 of the Boys U-16 division. The ISA Technical and Contest Directors reviewed the incident firsthand and on video and deemed that Castle’s actions were a serious example of unsporting conduct. As such, and in accordance with our disciplinary section of the ISA Rulebook, Team USA was fined $4,000 for unsporting conduct and derogatory gestures towards the judges together with a strong warning against such future behavior.
Makai Castle placed second, apparently, in the heat though was not removed from competition even though the seriousness of the unsporting conduct was… serious.
Even though the the alleged episode is the most exciting thing to ever happen in an ISA event, it was too boring to try and watch the heat to see when/where it occurred and if young Castle flipped the bird or did the thing where you cross one horizontal forearm with one vertical forearm.
One interesting note, I suppose, is how hard the ISA went in naming and shaming and under-16. Often, in the American press, will redact the identity of a junior accused of committing some not-so-serious offense.
Nobody messes with Fernando, I guess.
Lets see the video to see if the judges deserved it. I’m guessing they did. Fernando can eat a bag of HamSammishes.
Florence Pipe Pro live chat? Nathan paddling out in 10 min.
Oh for fuck’s sake – big wank.
and schooled by a brazzo for good mesure…
Might as well pack up shop and head to Oz Chas.
Events down under are making the US postings irrelevant.
Now we just heard that Rob Reiner and wife murdered by son. With a knife.
2025 off the chain
They keep it
All in the family
Did my post get deleted? Sorry Negatron I had no idea you couldn’t describe something as gay these days. Fuck there’s some soft offended cunts getting round ay, I reckon they would be too scared and offended to leave the house if they lived round here haha
It’s not offensive. It’s just 12 year old boy talk from 1990.
Fair enough still widely used by many of all ages round here. It must be nice to live where the whole population is so mature and well spoken. I bet yous have even trained the sheep to be grateful and polite?
Sheep jokes. At the least you’ve jumped from 12 to 13. Congrats.
Hahaha carn Negs don’t tell me you’re so uptight you don’t enjoy a good sheep joke. We have half of New Zealand living round here so I hear some mental ones and even the Kiwis love em and give it back
Can I tell ya one that one of the Māori scaffolders told me last week or is it too immature for the highbrow Beachgrit comments section? I reckon Beef and the other kiwis will get a laugh out of it haha
Go on
No dramas I reckon we could all do with a laugh after the horrors of yesterday just remember this was told to me by a huge Māori fella so try and read it in their funny accent
So this Strayan fella has gone over to see his kiwi mate in NZ to do some fishing. First morning they’re walking through a field to get to their spot and they spot a sheep has got his head and front legs caught in the wire fence. The Strayan says “fuck mate we gotta go help it out”. They walk over and before you can blink an eye the kiwi has dropped his shorts and is balls deep going hard as. The Strayan goes “fuck me what are doing cunt?” The kiwi ignores him and keeps pumping away til he’s satisfied then pulls up his shorts and goes “right Aussie your turn now bro”. The Strayan goes “Me? Really? Fuck it alright what goes on tour stays on tour ay cunt”. He then kicks off his thongs, pulls down his shorts and undies, takes a quick look at his mate and a deep breath then rams his head and arms straight through the wire fence right next to the sheep. Haha gave me a good laugh anyways so hope some of yous enjoy it before Negs takes it down for being childish or racist hahaha
Next do a plumber joke!
Why are plumbers shit surfers ? Cos they can never clear a draining pipe.
(alt.) Why are plumbers good surfers?
cos they can clear a draining pipe.
What’s fatter than a plumbers arse ?
Their wallets.
Why do plumbers always say they can fix your dunny on Monday but never roll up?
they like talking shit.
Haha you can’t tell plumber jokes round here cunz the cunts are way too miserable. I got heaps more kiwi sheep shagging ones though if ya want to hear them?
Go right ahead !
Don’t worry about Nega, she must be on the rags, again.
Yeh quiet day so who’s up for another Kiwi joke?
Ewe do? Yes, please!
Haha. No dramas mate I got an absolute cracker I will put up later after work. Deeks will love it cuz I know how much he loves ripping into the Kiwis for their complete failure at being able to pronounce vowels correctly haha
I learned decades ago from the best man (from Christchurch) in my wedding that sheep jokes will be rarely tolerated unless there is copious amounts of tequila available.
Fuck me he sounds like a barrel of laughs. Is he one of those typical heaps uptight white ones with a huge chip on his shoulder? No wonder why nearly all Kiwis wanna move over here and thaw out where everyone’s a heap looser ay
Close! He’s a temperamental artist.
Haha faaaaaark me that would be one uptight fella
Fingers crossed there is a formal protest from the other countries, and he gets disqualified from the whole competition.
Then the blameless NZ competitor takes his place to advance through the rounds, and Makai is kicked out of the US team for life after bringing their whole nation into disrepute.
Though for all we know he was surreptitiously given cocaine by some South Americans, which caused him (out of character) to extend his middle finger like that in the first place…
That’s some bad hat, Harry.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
should be fined
I see lots of people around the world culturally-appropriating the shaka, who have no business doing so.
What’s the process in getting on Team USA? Is it based on who’s mommy and dadddy donate the most money to the “Coach’s Fund”?
Brett “OJ” Simpson is livin’ large.
It starts with a bunch of richard sucking to your district directors in HSA, WSA or ESA. Then you have to do a bunch of richard sucking to the folks at USA Smurfing. Spend a fortune on contest fees for meaningless contests to end up at a meaningless event in Peru. Just surf kids. Youth surf contests are meaningless. Start up an Instagram and YouTube Channel. Now get me a HamSammish.