“The duo we need but don’t deserve.”
Last March, romance hits its zenith, it’s safe to say, when an indigenous Australian woman thrilled the internet with a love letter to the eleven-time world surfing champ Kelly Slater.
“Kelly Slater. If you see this video, um, let me know what you’re doin,” said Aunty C. “Hahahaha, hehehehehe, yeah haven’t heard from you, so, let me know what’s happening, if you want. Byeeeeee!”
Kelly Slater was tagged multiple times in the comments although his new role as a father to baby Tao with Chinese bikini mogul Kalani Miller disqualified him from seeking a sexy meet-and-greet with Aunty C.
Aunty C was subsequently blocked by the all-time great.
In a new post, and in conjunction with another noted influencer, Willem Powerfish, famous for his brave attempts to smash surfing’s “entrenched homophobia and patriarchal power structures” via beach theatre and Jackass-style pranks, Aunty C has renewed her quest to connect with Kelly Slater.
“I’m in love with you, I’m crazy about you. I love watching you and I love the things about you,” says Aunty C. “I love the way you carry yourself. You’re an environmentalist and I love that because I care about the world and the environment and nature and everything. I love that and that’s right up my alley and I love that.”
Powerfish then swings in although in less romantic form.
But still very compelling.
Funny how fast you resort to stereotypes after blathering on about such things.😀
I was just positively reinforcing your pathetically sad paranoid worldview with some charged commentary.
Nah, I stopped playing with Hasbro toys a long time ago.
This is more like positive reinforcement….
Unearned privileges are the best.
I bet you know all about that…
What he was a nervous fellow?
Guess I would be too if my one black “friend” was looking for reparations….
You had a white friend?
Dez and Chas I want to take a minute just to salute you pair of geniuses. Chas yesterday released a complete abortion of an article that had no mention of surfing and now has over 200 comments. Stab, that you have to pay for, rarely gets into double digits but today got over 150 comments after paying some shapers to dress up in black with no shoes and drink some tequila. Comments were mostly the same wank as usual with everyone stating this was the best thing they had ever seen.
We on the other hand get absolute core lord Brutus down in the trenches with the rest of us talking shit and spreading his wisdom over any topic for absolute free. Great thinking or complete luck I have no idea but congrats fellas. Now for fucks sake you two start putting some surfing based articles back on here ya pair of cunts haha
I must agree with you.
BG has probably been the single most positive contribution to level-headed communication on teh interwebs.
I hope archaelogists can dig it up a billion years in the future and have a little cry-wank over its loss.
Stab Comments-
– Sam thanks for everything you do. Love Stab.
– Ripping Mickey C! Best one yet.
– Why are guys giving this a guy a platform? He once took a photo with this other dude.
– Comment of the month!
– Stab you should have this surfer do EAST next time.
– Let´s go Vissla! Yago and Liam, two legends and stylish as f@$k!
– Plot twist: Kelly shaped the Firewire and will choose that board as winner just so he can feel the sensation of winning again…
– Oh, the shit talk. Glorious. Just glorious. Thakyou stab. Worth every cent of the subscription.
– This episode was the best thing since I discovered my willy didn’t just pee.
– Love how they talk shit out of one side of their mouth, and praise out of the other. Respect at the top.
– freaking awesome intro to the series!
they are all classic individuals and personalities.
can’t wait for the next episode.
love hearing them go at each other, but with a lot of respect and sense of humor!
Big old circle jerk
Speaking of circle jerks, anyone ever participated in one of those things? Seems very boys school sorta activity.
You reckon the brutal game of “Soggy Sayo” started in all boys schools as well or in rugby union or league? If anyone doesn’t know the rules of this game I would delight in telling yous cuz it even makes this Strayan cunt wanna vomit hahaha
It’s like Walz and Harris!
Did you watch the first ep brother? Thought some of it was pretty interesting but it certainly didn’t make want to rip the top off it haha
Not yet. Just gave a gander at the comments
Hey 007 did ya watch it yet? I wanted to ask your opinion on something I noticed straight away about it
Lol. Yeah I watched yesterday. Fire away.
Did ya notice at the end when they finally showed some surfing just how much worse Old Baldy looked on his own shapers board? Hahaha. He insisted he get in the test and its soooooooo fucking obvious from the very first watch just how much better he looked on the other shapers boards haha
What did ya reckon to the rest of it? I thought DH came across really well
I reckon it was a lot of manufactured yapping. Looking forward to more surfing. I agree on the Dan Mann shape and how DH came accross. I am still not sure on the rest. I thought Marco seemed like a class act.
Surfing is so passe! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
The Powerfish is a classic. His early skits were hilarious, but, as with loads of content creators, it’s become a bit scripted seeming and over the top.
That said, he is a pretty unique voice in the melee of social media and gives back to his community a fair bit.
nothing will top him instigating fights with surfers on his lid and threatening them with oral pleasure.
mad cunt.
Agree mate, he lives real close to me and does give heaps back to the local communities. Don’t like all his stuff but he’s good cunt
classic, would love to bump in to him.
give him a slap on the arse for me.
Hahaha will do mate
Damn that put a big time hurtin on my eyes bro.
Bahaha “environmentalist”
I shit in the woods and think of Kelly. EVERY Time
Hey deeks ssssshhhhhhhhh the warden is back from his hols and he aint happy about it
Fair enough I need censorship. I’m fucked