“Pure domination without violence”
The consequences of throwing hands in the surf are well known. Who can forget the story of Malibu realtor Andy Lyon, described as “the angriest man in surfing”, who lost his job, had his address published and a beat-down was suggested for his four-year-old kid Glider after he threw a rock into another man’s surfboard following an entanglement, the video of the event going viral?
“People think I’m crazy but I’m trying to regulate a crowd of fucking idiots,” Lyon explained.
Lyon represents a vanishing era where lineups were harshly policed with a clearly defined pecking order, a limpid simplicity greased with the underlying threat of violence, even if Malibu is a sissy wave for old men and girls.
That story had a happy-ish ending, of course, read here.
Now, a surfer in Indonesia has demonstrated a technique that achieves the ritual humiliation of the vulnerable adult learner surfer without fear of consequence. Dubbed the “kook sprayer” by the best damn surf shop in the world, which you can find at Uluwatu and which is called White Monkey, the surfer stomps on his tail to create a wheelie effect thereby drenching the VAL in the subsequent jet spray.
Non-violent ritual humilations
Let’s examine.
The surfer, a Lost surfboards teamrider, explains:
The fact is, I was surfing with a friend, and we were just waiting our turn in the lineup. Before this happened, I mentioned to the guy in the white shirt and his friend that they’d been paddling around us and taking waves while we were sitting and waiting. They replied with “get out of the shoulder”. I just said I’d go on the next one, and that’s when this happened.
Master shaper Jon Pyzel describes the manoeuvre as “Pure domination without any violence.”
Do you agree with these sorta non-violent ritual humiliations? Or are you a slap kinda gal?
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This is the most passive aggressive shit I’ve ever seen. Just tell people to stop when they’re doing bad shit. This should go for everyone in every part of society. What the fuck else do you expect?
Well, he claims he did tell him. Quote from @h3rbrt,
“The fact is, I was surfing with a friend, and we were just waiting our turn in the lineup. Before this happened, I mentioned to the guy in the white shirt and his friend that they’d been paddling around us and taking waves while we were sitting and waiting. They replied with “get out of the shoulder” 🤣. I just said I’d go on the next one, and that’s when this happened. All good” .
Seems much less passive aggressive and more fuck off given that quote.
well, alright. that’s better.
weak, especially after being identified sitting on the shoulder
Doesn’t exactly look like sit out the back kinda day though.
The only thing that would make this cooler would be if it wasn’t a Lost surfboard
…. Dandy Lyon
This has me kind of depressed.
After the freedom from the speed and space of flying down a mountain, I have to dig deep to want to go surf.
I remember the same feeling when I got into windsurfing, where the whole ocean opens up to you, and trying to confine yourself into the space of a lineup going a fraction of the speed was almost unbearable. Throw in the crowd and it was enough to make me hate surfing.
I’m sure the feeling will pass eventually, but I am seriously already missing the mountains and thinking of buying a sail or kite…
join JP on the foil
Nah I’m not that depressed…
hahahahaha
If you like endurance cardio you should get a prone paddle board. Downwinding is some of the most fun I’ve had in the ocean the past few years.
Yeah, true, and very very good for physique.
Same goes for mountain biking. Sitting in a lineup waiting for a set then competing with others feels like such a giant waste of time after being on mountain bikes for a few years.
The shit they are doing on a mountain bike nowadays is next level.
yeah, I’m not hucking huge gaps or anything, but flowing through the redwoods is pretty freaking fun
Mountain biking is gross.
Did you change your name again?
thought the man in Japan has had the same avatar since forever
Barreled is so busy regulating avatars, profiles and posted surf and food shots that he has forgotten who is who.
Nah, you dipshits throw temper tantrums and change your names so much it’s impossible to know who the hell is who.
Not impossible, all you have to do is pay attention.
Comprehension is essential to reading…
You should go back to being Troll, you were far less cunty as Troll, prior to your epic meltdown.
That last meltdown wasn’t that epic, could have been way better.
It’s funny how much the starch in your underwear has stiffened up your lower lips since then
I mean Way Out There didn’t change shit and you are having a cow over it.
I really only came back to prove to you all those other guys you were saying were me weren’t actually me.
Less cunty?
Guess I wasn’t upping my game enough at the time…
So now your weren’t Troll Formerly Known as JackMeoff? The guy who melted down about bleeding out your ass, worried about who would take care of your kids? Hmmm. 🤔
And pull your head out of your ass, Way deleted his disqus and changed his name to Deep Nanbu, at according to him he did.
No, you seem to forget how many guys you accused of being me that weren’t me.
Just for the record, I still bleed out my ass, still have serious health problems, and still worry about my kids future.
As for homie and anyone else, who gives a fuck if they delete and come back under new names?(which is mandatory under disqus)
I just trip that after how many years of you being here you are trying to regulate social norms on a site founded on flouting social norms.
Seriously that shit is lame.
My call is have a drink and let loose with all the shit you really want to get out there.
Tell off JSC by posting photos of waves more secret than his.
Tell us why you are the corelord you are.
Hell maybe go really big and change up your profile so we have to guess who you are.(won’t be hard to figure out as some of us pay attention to what we are reading)
And for God sakes shed those undies. FREEBIRD!!!
I respect your opinion. 🤙
Thanks, as far as I see it you are a pillar of our twisted community. Full respect.
There are “pillars”?
Are there?
😆
No, he deleted his Disqus account awhile back when he decided he needed to stop posting. Changed his mind a short while later and came back as Deep Nanbu. Now it appears he has gone back to some form of Way Outthere unless this isn’t him. I’m sure he will weigh in here shortly.
Looks like a soft wave, very
Always preferred the two hand shove as deterrent
Then bark enough till he has to bite in front of his friends. He won’t, this is 2026, he’ll get his “ revenge” on IG
two kooks dancing to soft rock
the two hand ‘lift and flip’ the kook’s board
or as you said, just surf hollow waves cuz they never make the drops
I’d hire Andy Lyon to be my realtor, no way the seller gonna get away without fixing that crack in the drywall.
Outspeed the kook
Surf around kook
Ultimately, if you are in the same lineup as kook, then you are kook.
What about the Miki Dora board shot? Surely you’re maintaining plausible deniability, like maybe you just fell off at the wrong time
Best punch on I ever saw was at Ulus back in the early 90s when I was just a scrawny 17/18 young fella. Me and a mate had gone over there for 6 weeks and would get to Ulus before first light and head to Ketuts warung for brekky and then stay the entire day before leaving at dark. In between surfing we would hang out and eat and play chess with the local fellas so got real friendly with them.
Anyways one day this French fella appeared and starts acting like the biggest fuckwit in the lineup, just burning everyone. Hes a big, scary looking unit so cunts are just wearing it. I get a sick one down at Racetracks and the cunt takes off down the line and pushes the lip down on me. As I paddle back out I say to him cheers for that mate and I never forget this, he replies in heavily accented English “Go hard or go home” haha. Next set he does the same again but this time I ain’t so lucky and am left with a broken board and some reef kisses down my back and legs.
I get back to the warung and the boys are laughing going we told you not to get sucked into going too far down there. I laugh and go na this cunt just faded me right on the take off and their expressions changed when I explained what had been going on out there. They dress my reef rash and later on me mate has gone back out to the peak and I’m getting smashed at chess yet again when one of the boys says to me is that him? I have a look and say yeh thats the cunt without thinking too much about it as I see him walking out for another surf. Words are exchanged in Indo and all of a sudden one of the fellas who I had never surf grabs a board and heads off down the ladder.
Now chess game over early get again my Balo mates tell me excitedly to watch the lineup. First wave the local fella burns the French cunt. Now all I can see after is the Balo pointing to the beach but me mate later told me he said to the Frenchy now ya know how it feels now meet me on the beach. I am dumbfounded as the Balo is maybe 5 10 and lean but wiry and this French cunt is maybe 6 3 and way over 110 kgs.
They get to the reef/beach drop their boards and just start going at it, massive blows thrown both ways. The French cunt lands a big one and seems to be on top when the local lad kicks his legs out, jumps on top of him and just starts smashing the shit out of him until Frenchy ain’t moving. He heads to his board and jumps on it till it’s in pieces, throws them at him and tells him never to come back. The rest of the locals pull him up and carry him up top where they send him on his way with the same message of never coming back.
Now I’m a lover not a fighter but localism in its purest form like this this does work. I grew up in a small beachside town and am as Beef described a dark and swarthy and Mediterranean looking fella, so threw some punches and got heaps back haha. Cunts these days are so terrified of men punching on they just shit themselves where as to me most fellas are designed to fight for what they believe in? The problem is when the localism used to spiral out of control and become just an excuse for punching the shit out of some poor cunt for nothing. That isn’t anything to do with pure localism and just disgusts me
Good story and philosophy Cunt
Fucken oath. The balos and the javos for that matter hate a true cunt like that French cunt. Great read and hoping that frog never went back!
The Balos HATE the Javos more than anyone.
True that
Haha thanks man. Like I said I am not into punching on for nothing but I honestly believe a lineup can’t operate smoothly and efficiently unless people know if they act like a cunt they’re going to cop a flogging. Modern day lineups are perfect examples of this. You think kooks would carry on acting like cunts if they knew they would cop a couple of cracks to the jaw? Hahaha not a chance ay
Doesn’t work no more though with the growth in numbers of the often un-fairer sex in the water.
Oh I’m a very modern man now and fully believe in equality so if a chick is acting like a fuckwit I just burn them too haha
Had a lovely display recently from one who kept paddling back inside me and a buddy, way deep, then screaming us off waves, only to get caught behind soon thereafter. My pal finally just went one and we both copped it (we look very similar – kinda silvering Adam Melling / Stu Kennedy / Ethan Ewing (on a good day) types). Although, bumped into him a few months later and he told me he’d got the added bonus of a visit from the husband at his car afterwards, ready to rumble-on-behalf of his other half.
Dark and swarthy? Noice
You get wet?
good story, sounds like an epic 6 weeks , need to serialize it
Hahaha onyas Rocks. Remembering that punch on has brought back so many memories and I honestly reckon that trip was one of the happiest times of my life ay. Me and my mate were just a pair of absolute surf crazed, tube frothing, flat broke Strayan groms having the time of our lives. I’m a goof from the land of righthand points so being over there was like I had found heaven on earth haha
Like I said we would get to Ulus before first light, wolf down some jaffles or porridge and just literally surf all day. I mean we weren’t even drinking piss cuz all we wanted to do was surf so we were spending anywhere between 6 to 9 hours in the water everyday. I’ve gotta say quickly just how amazing and motherly the Balinese ladies were to us down there, we were like their surrogate sons haha. They would be like hey my Australian boys have you eaten enough today? Have you taken care off those reef cuts and so on and I thank them from the bottom of my heart.
The fellas too were just amazing for looking after us so well. On bigger days they would be like boys head over to Padang or Bingin cuz it will be pumping. Find so and so and tell him I said hi and he will take care of yous. Cuz we both surfed pretty decent we would always have a local wanting to paddle out with us which is never a bad thing when ya wanna get some good ones ay haha
Also met some incredible people over there from all over the planet that would lead on to future trips and adventures but thats a story for another time …… haha
Is That where you met koby?
Haha na that was further down the road
Did ya find a fiddy on your way back up the trail?
every time I hear this fiddy thing I feel like (both) an old man and an idiot – are we just talking about getting lucky, or is there some much cooler (or more sinister) meaning? Apologies for the stupidity of the question.
No apology needed.
Great quotes from stories on BG do not need any particular reason to be thrown out there.
To me no great story is really great until a fiddy is found .
Now tell us the Kobe story.
He died in a helicopter crash in the Thousands Oaks area of California while flying to his sports academy with his daughter.
I like deliberately spelling his name wrong, he’s the sort of guy that would have conniptions over it.
Well bob I remember when Turts said my way of speaking was “cringe” you and Negs agreed with him so I dont really know what to say mate? I certainly can’t tell the story in Queens English so I may have to give it a miss mate haha
Water off a ducks back cunt. Tells the story…one of…tell one
Haha only fucking around mate, not much gets under my skin
Take a knee and give it to us Russel, I’m sure Kobie will come off way more “cringe”. I think I agreed with that statement because of the subject matter, IE talking like that about young women. The way you told the story above was epic, I’d read those all day.
Russel? Mate I’m only fucking with ya and I have two great Koby stories that are kind of interlinked so will drop the first one when things go quiet on the surfing things on here again soon
How did that kook (white shirt ) manage to control the inside from old mate? (black shirt) Obviously a much better surfer??
In tje lineup i just yell, ive got covid 25 !!
Wheelie of the winter.
Good one
ritual humiliation is when Ford MOCO invites POTUS to their factory and some kook starts heckling the President…enough to where the President yells Fuck You at the kook, flips him off…….and the brave kook gets fired.
Bet all the kooks cheering on Drumpf for that are the same ones pissed the mayor of Minny told Ice to get the fuck out of their city.
I think it’s all funny. Mini Mayor telling ICE get the fuck out, and DHS sending more agents. I’d love to see Mini Mayor personally confront an ICE agent.
BTW- d’you see the list of criminals ICE has been arresting in Minneapolis? crazy.
It’s like the song Heathens:
You’ll never know the psychopath sitting next to you
You’ll never know the murderer sitting next to you
IF Frey doesn’t want them deported, move em all into his neighborhood
so the show goes on, meanwhile a little factual reality on the present Ice dramas etc…..
“yeah Obama in 2012 deported about 400,ooo illegal aliens with criminal records….for $6B….over 8 years 2.75m……
2025 trump deports 300,000 illegal immigrants 80 % have no criminal record……..for wait for it…$350 B…….
So maybe the information trump sold maga about immigrants was false?
So it’s the opposite of the Sermon on the Mount…?
‘suggestions on the mount,’ take em or leave em
Is pedophilia criminal behavior?
I ritually humilate myself everytime I paddle out.
Some people would say they would be having a shocker of a session.
For me it’s just a Tuesday.
The main fact I got from this story is that that Lyons guy named his kid Glider! A fact I somehow missed when the story first came out. Way to set up your kid to be a wanker!
Probably a better name than say; Turboprop, Helicopter, or Passenger Jet.
Turboprop Lyon has a certain ring to it though
non-violent ritual humiliations??
Is that like coping a sly digit up the mud-button from ya uncle ?
It’s been years since I’ve had a good fight in the water. Now, I don’t start fights but do fancy myself an expert antagoniser.
Slap the water and send a stiff jet of water straight into their face followed by a two-word order:
“GO IN!”
hahaha semen cunt. Try that with me mate and I would bury you. And every minute of time served thereafter would be bliss
Poetry in motion