"Thank you, Mr. President."
This was the moment Kelly Slater was waiting for. The world’s greatest surfer, smarter than most doctors, savvier than Elon Musk, had seen the crypto wave, early, bought low and was ready for a bumper 2026.
Donald J. Trump, you see, campaigned on being the Crypto President, promising to create a strategic Bitcoin reserve, slotting pro-crypto business bro Paul Atkins as chair of the SEC and creating a memecoin for himself plus one for the First Lady.
Crypto investors, everywhere, very much including the self-identified diamond handed Kelly Slater, cheering.
Bitcoin was at $109,000 with experts like Arthur Hayes, co-founder of BitMEX, predicting a spike to $250,000 this year.
Alas, the market has since cratered.
Bitcoin is currently at $67,000 with other altcoin damage much worse. Ash Crypto, taking to X to share, “Crypto prices since Trump took office: BTC: -40%. ETH: -45%. TRUMP: -90%. MELANIA: -98%. Thank you, Mr. President.”
The main cause of the dip is Trump’s Iran gambit. With oil over $100 a barrel, inflation is again a problem thus dooming any rosy outlook for an interest rate cut from the Fed, at least while Jerome Powell is in office. Trump has yet to deliver on the strategic Bitcoin reserve and the Trump and Melania coins drained, then flushed, some $8 billion from the market.
Crypto investors, everywhere, bummed.
While some are still bullish, imagining Trump is playing that wild and crazy 3D chess by letting oil run to $200 a barrel thus crashing stocks and crypto then ending the Iran war thereby “triggering the greatest bull market in history,” the more grounded feel things won’t turn around until May when Trump’s Fed chair pick takes the reigns, possibly cutting rates despite soaring oil, gutting the economy but giving crypto a boost.
Slater, of course, is not getting any younger and will have another mouth to feed soon plus two children, now, to send to university.
Will his diamond hands remain firm or will the prospect of li’l Tao and Honu having to attend community college for two years before enrolling at Long Beach State be enough for him to cash out, now, and create his own strategic education reserve?
More as the story develops.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
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Beat em? Ha! The secret is join them.
yeah sorry , but by shipped I just meant freighted…always air freight with shipments to China/Japan……still direct flights from Geraldton to Asia with live crays?
being shipped to China?
Gypto Crypto
Crash? CRASH? Buy buy buy buy BUY!!!!!!
(Says every crypto guy rn)
What Kelly shows the public of his business and investment acumen.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Quite probably his behind the scenes reality…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Fun waves for the Newy comp, Aussies on fire.
Need a chat for this.
Still elite levels of surfing happening, and Sally is in the competition and will obviously win it.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Tya Zebrowski for the win
The crude oil Futures market from Sunday’s open at 3pm till closing at 2pm Monday was a wild, wild ride. Rocketed to $119+, slamming into supply zone dating back to June 2022 after Russia invaded Ukraine, followed by rapid retreat to $85+ at the close.
Opportunities for the aggressive.
Pulling an all nighter starring at the screen wasn’t easy but so f’n worth it.
so how much did ya make after the all nighter?
this just dropped today @Chas. Back to the O.C , baby.
I know there are some moments, but I cannot recall when that might have been. Oh, wait I’m not on the witness stand or under oath. Some might accuse me of being an ex-Wall Streeter with intimate knowledge of those villains and/or the events.
The 2022 Bitcoin crash has been one for the history books, where the price went from $69,000 to $16,000 before hitting a bottom.
today~ U.S. crude oil was down 6.19% to $85.27 per barrel at 3:37 p.m. ET. Global benchmark Brent traded 4.6% lower at $88.43 per barrel.
The nasty fact is no matter what price a barrel of oil, Hawaii will always be hovering between $4.5-$5 per gal. They jacked the prices under Biden and never looked back.
yep based on trumps saying the war will be over very soon……to calm oil prices……but as of today…..Iran still firing rockets, will not surrender , Hegsy claiming will be worst day yet but was least from a bombing point of view….no end plan now as the USA realizes it has to put boots on the ground……..so all this for what again?
“Diamond Hand Crypto” a new Dan Mann creation.
For the love of god someone please set up Slats a GoFundMe page so his children dont starve…
Just for the record; The majority of seppo Cristian people I know are very kind, gracious and family and faith orientated, especially those that actually live in ‘merica.
IMAGINE a world where one could post a chart of BTC prices to corroborate the author’s Trump assertions related to Iran? It’s easy if you try:
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… While in other news, some might speculate that certain evil minds on Wall Street are the real villains with respect to the decline in BTC pricing or maybe there was a leverage play at hand… so many possibilities worthy of exploring other than this attempt to upset Otto. YAWN!
I’m unfazed. Have had some recent conversations with fascinating minds about where block chain technology and the financial world are headed.
It goes well beyond cryptocurrency. Block chain and smart contracts will very soon dominate business models, and financial markets. Instant settlement, elimination of middlemen, 24/7 trading, and other fundamental structural business evolution concepts that will leave what we see now in the rearview mirror. Transactional speed with instant settlement that will permeate every known market.
BTC isn’t so much losing value as it is gaining stability needed for but one piece of vastly larger changes related to block chain technology and smart contracts.
Your post rate reveals you’re fazed.
block chain technology is already fully integrated into the worlds infrastructure……old news/technology!
The BTC progressions are fascinating to watch
Thanks for the clarification Einstein.
Ethereum went up about 5% today so far so is this another post-truth, ‘reno died/oh wait reno is alive’ article?
Or maybe a contra indicator?
Buy the rumor sell the BG news
I’ve got a question for US east coasters . Did anyone ever surf a Quiet flight Sting fish? A couple of them made their way down to the Caribbean, that I got to surf, and They both went really well. Very fast and quite dynamic, even in our shifty, onshore beachbreaks.
Also had another QF that was magic in big waves.
Edit: the sting fish had channels, wings and a swallow tail, if I remember correctly.
Where do you live?
rode a little QF twinnie fish in the 80s, was my younger brother’s board but he didn’t surf much so took it out a few times, fun little board
Apologies in advance for the barrelled-esque comment but are the previous three “articles” one long troll?
– Declared Dead
– Journalist being replaced by AI
– Not dead
– AI written article about Slater and Bitcoin
Please explain how that is barrelled-esque (other than being a question) and let me know if we need to meet at Otto’s Tower 9.
Complaining about content is Barreled-esque, hope that helps. My schedule for tower 9 meet ups is really busy right now, but let me get back to you on that
You forgot the extra “l” again.
There is no “I” in team
L and I are different letters
hey now, Tower 9 is for everyone, not just Otto
Do you ever surf there?
To this day I don’t know if tower 9 is referring to the tower 9 in Huntington or in Oceanside. I’m convinced each person has picked one or the other and no one realizes they’re talking about different spots.
Oceanside, Tower 9 is down the street from Larry’s, and Larry’s is where Otto went to “meet up” with me
Otto lives at Tower 9 HB
Just wondering if I know all you guys
I thought he lived in Montana
HB
You should all post your real names and figure it out.
Would not know them by name
Just like Ox, I acknowledge all the guys, know few
Kind of like it that way, but HB is way more urban and I used to party in those days
Is that your approach with the Carpas crew too.
Please don’t call it Ox. Only guy I have ever heard call it that is the biggest fucking kook on Earth.
Trying not to use the word, so you get the location…. agree
I think everyone knows where you are talking about.
Friendly with the estuary point guys because I surfed there most high tides/wind swells, but they are much younger. Dude I miss seeing is Bummy, no idea where he disappeared to. Liked that they held it down at the point, felt familiar.
Know the surf shop guys pretty well although main dude is selling coffee and wine now. Then the old guys, Surf Beach/T’s crew, I met in yoga. those guys are older than me and pretty cranky. Most of my friends grow flowers or weed
I’m so confused.
Truer words were never spoken. Please accept B&B’s offer to be your personal moderator. 😉
Fuck if I know, couldn’t find either if I had to. Hippy seems to think it’s Huntington. Others think O-side.
There’s no reason to surf Oceanside anymore
Was there ever?
Great sand in one era. Great
Long gone and the crowds make San Onofre blush
San O is their Mondo’s
I’ve surfed south jetty with good lefts and the right off the harbor mouth going off but that was early-mid 90’s. Wasn’t too thrilled with a couple loc trolls screaming at me when I paddled out to harbor not realizing I was with a couple born and bred locals who proceeded to berate the guys.
there’s too many guys now to hassle anyone
The Harbor still gets good from time to time, but there are spots in OSide I surfed back in college that don’t even break anymore
I grew up at the Buccaneer and it was excellent through mid 80’s. Rode my bike up to North Jetty daily. Super depressing returning
you grew up at The Buccaneer in Oside, RPV where you’re parent had a maid and Newport.did you live in your car?…..
How could you afford the travel? San Babs to SD.
remember the oil shortage/gas lines and when oil prices doubled in 79?
I was visiting California that summer and was like…….Daaaannnnnnnng
My parents drove
Great times. I was thinking the other day after reading the Reno story, about when I started surfing and how great those days were. My pops was a surfer who had moved to the South Bay when he was young. He had awesome stories of some of the legends of the day and how they would all multi-car caravan south to OC, Killer Dana and SD. I had a wonderful conversation with Greg Noll about my dad.
I remember how he taught us to surf on his Greg Noll, Yater and Bing. Although we didn’t get to spend a lot of time with him because of Viet Nam, when we did it was a lot of surfing and beach days.
One of my favorite memories was a day when he drove my brother and I to Sunset. I was 14 at the time and had recently purchased my Reno board. waves were about 8-10, and my brother who was not as keen on surfing as me, paddled out with me and sat on the shoulder scoring a few, but I went a bit deep, because I had friends on the NS who schooled me a bit at Sunset, probably because I was a little kid…I mean, I was JJF small.
I surfed for a couple of hours and came in, my pops hanging with some of the locals, having beers on the beach. I’ll never forget the pride in his eyes and his voice when he looked at me, patted me on the shoulder and said: “Got some nice waves, kid…….You did good, son.”
Pops was the greatest guy to surf with, because he would sit out there and make friends with everyone in the lineup, joking and talking story with the pack, whilst my brother and I would get tons of waves.
On thing I was never able to figure out; he used to do this sand sliding thing, where he’d run and dive onto the shallow water sand, arms back and glide on his chest on the sand like a skim board.
We grew up in an amazing era, Hip. Can’t imagine what it was like in Cal, but what a time to be a kid in Hawaii
The 70s were a great time to be a teenage surfer in Cali. Surfed Beach Blvd. (HB) a lot with my buddies, family would camp at Carlsbad State Beach during the summer. Once I got my driver’s license, I started driving north, my Surfing California guidebook by my side, exploring the reefs in Cen/NorCal. Would sleep in the back of my VW squareback. Magical times that are long gone.
I can only imagine, but being teen in Hawaii during the 70’s was pretty epic. every time I hear the song Time by Pink Floyd, it gets me nostalgic.
for some reason, we always had Dark Side of the Moon playing while driving through the NS for surf checks.
now that’s what I call a great story of surfing/family and yeah some serious love from Pops….never take for granted having a Dad!
Thanks. Different cats from that era. different types of dads. they made you work for everything you got. He made me learn how to repair dings when I was 10….and made me build a couple of my own boards when I was 12.
Hand planer, rasps, files and sandpaper. built in my backyard. pretty crude, but some of them worked. loved glassing em’ with the old pigments and tints. although I don’t really know the feeling you get (after 1000’s of boards) when you slide your hand down a foam rail, it was pretty cool as a kid.
yeah old school….how good/great was life compared to now…….it feels like technology has destroyed what we once called privacy….now we are just part of the global machine being run by algorithms and out so called smart phones……ah hand made…..LOL!
did you start shaping with the old school planers, the ones that you had to replace the blades….or did you start with electric?
hand made….laying up fins was always the hardest part. that’s a skill.
electric Makita 3″ planer….Skil planer was like comparing a 1970 F1 car to todays……I used t marvel at fins were glassed on the boards , but unfoiled…it was the sander who had to foil the fin , when we really didn’t know what a foil was,LOL….
Stanley Handyman for me. muscle powered. LOL.
That was ‘77
I first went Hawaii in 73 during the first great embargo of oil….a result of the Yom Kipper war in the ME. there was little resin/no acetone…luckily I bought an old VW Bug…and used the queue up at the Chevron station next to kammies……last number of your number plate was an odd or even and there were alternating days when you could fill up…..the Global oil price jumped from $3 to $12 a barrel…….300% increase….imagine if that happened now….from $100 a barrel to $400…..???
70’s were great times on the NS. Surfing Sunset was incredible. every time you paddled out, you were in the midst of legends.
I was a young teen in 73, so gas prices were kind of irrelevant to me. everyone just pitched in for the driver. I was always the grom, so surfing the NS was all that mattered….and after surf grinds at Pancho Goldsteins.
it was just quite amazing in 73 , I was 18, just done 2 trips to Bali where we encountered some serious big waves…..met reno in the desert…and Hawaii was next…..our first taste of petrol rationing…..what a trip…and here we are …same old shit with oil..LOL…
met Reno in 74 at the Smirnoff. Can’t imagine having been in Bali back then. must’ve been epic surfing those spots for the fist time. Trying to think when I first met you. it was in the 70’s at Sunset, just don’t remember the year. were you mates with Bruce Raymond?
first trip to bali with Nat and Wayne to make a movie with Mex Sumpter……went back a month later to surf with Wayne and our wives/girlfriends…..then Hawaii 73/74 for 6 weeks……you met me wow?
Bruce Raymond /Richard Cram and I same age….competitors…they never forgave me for beating them as a junior in the National titles…..I came 5th they lost in the semis……Simon 1# MR 2nd /RaB 3rd….72’…..but we all competed and also were part of the new surf industry…I surfed and shaped….Bruce became the Quiksilver hit man,LOL
wow. that’s a bunch of legends in a sardine can.
Yeah, first time met you was in the parking lot after a sesh at sunset, having a chat with Bruce.
…and from what I recall years later at the quik house or may have been at Micks. it all flows together after all the years. never know who you gonna meet in the pipe yards.
yeah they all went onto be the foundation of Pro surfing…..they went right , I went left ….to jail…….LOl….was after the education,LOL!
Rogah Dat.
bunch of those cats used to hang at our house a bit. Bugs was a good mate but gotta say, get MR on the piss and it’s absolute comedy.
another solid bloke was Alan Byrne. man, that guy shaped me some great boards. broke heart when he died.
Lol an excellent comparison holy shit
Oceanside used to be so sick when I was an early teen. Pink Houses!
It is Oceanside.
Once again Tower 9 to fight, Larry’s for beers, then maybe go to the Masonic Lodge for secret meetings about how to be an outstanding pillar of your community and better the world while secretly doing the opposite.
This all fits into some broader truths about homie that many people seem to miss. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
You think the Masons aren’t into bettering the world? As you say, they do talk a good game.
We better the world
I know the Mason’s stated purpose is for good standing members of the community who have any faith in a higher power to secretly exist and meet in order to keep past traditions alive and better their community and world at large.
But like any other religion or group, not all their members practice what they preach.
Classic
Nope.
It’s really Otto and JohnsKnees thing that the rest of us stole for entertainment purposes.
Imagine being so childish?
To ask for a meet up and then no show, or to actually show up?
ridiculous either way
How funny is crayfish popsicle?
He was far more entertaining as Strayan Cunt instead of this new thing where he strokes himself constantly.
it might have started that way, but it is now a common good
comedy
I imagine you like to know where your wife is at all times?
You now taking tips from Stayan Cunt on how to be a complete douchebag and include people’s wife’s into the chat below the line? You’re fucking going downhill Negs.
Apologies. What about you like to keep an eye on peoples phone messages and use air trackers just for fun?
I have no idea what that is supposed to mean but I don’t use trackers on anyone.
Iphone features and specific apps allow people to constantly monitor the location of your phone.
Something like 50% of parents are constantly monitoring their teenaged kids location. Going to lead to a generation of people who are too afraid to take any risk because of the constant panopticon.
Fuck–my parents used to let me and friends head out at age 10 on the bikes and not come back for hours. Neither of my kids (10 and about to be 16) have phones nor want them. All their friends are addicted. Times change…
We would be told to make sure we come home for dinner, Mom had no idea where we were and it was more than ok.
E bikes on the freeway now.
https://youtu.be/4oC2Rf5HGkw?si=ht0nlDG0m14BFZmg
Had some kids skid out right in front of me out of no where in the middle of the road while I was driving. About four or five bikes with a few riding on the back. Had to slam on the breaks full movie-style. Before I even could get my window down the kids were flipping me off and running off, and I knew I was getting old when my instinct was to “give them a talking to.”
On the other hand, all for some risk taking. But kids doing wheelies in the middle of the street, getting run over and dying (Aipa kid this past summer RIP) is just fuuuuuucked.
Dude how stoked are you on your kids for that?
Agreed, that’s why I don’t use them on anyone. Would be funny to track my cats though.
Yeah, but they’re really good if you plan on having a go with the missus.
you can see how far away the kids are and set your watch for liftoff.
The parents around here let their kids ride on electric motorbikes on the road with no road rule knowledge and with a mate on the back. Sounds kinda risky to me
“I don’t know how those body parts ended up in my fridge Officer”
You suffering from Alzheimers or what? I am far from being able to follow all your references.
I know a woman that tracks her family all day long
Obsessed
A 9 only a few years back?
She would kiss you if you referred to her as a 9 ever
Hey, how is your work going on patience and tolerance, btw?
Obviously a complete failure based on the actions below the line.
Funnily enough it’s far easier not having to be patient or tolerate bad behaviour from said person! Turns out I’m perfect. lol.
Is the Ronnie G memorial plaque up yet on Tower 9?
Really getting into surfing…
Taiwan Firewire factory lunch room.
Notice to all employees-
Due to unforeseen economic circumstances the following takes effect immediately.
– All annual five taiwan dollar raises are halted (.16 cents usd)
– Firewire, OK employee discounts have been reduced to 10% off retail.
– Please limit use of N95 masks to one per week.
– Management will be looking for speedier board turn over. Remember these boards are not being ridden by Kelly Slater but by very bad surfers thinking they will be Kelly.
– You will notice the thermostats have been locked. Please don’t try and adjust the AC.
Thank you.
Firewire Management
ah small detail….firewire are made in Thailand , not Taiwan???
Ahhh shit. I knew it started with a T.
Turkmenistan in fact!
Xox