“The world’s richest man Elon Musk referred to his life as a ‘tortured existence’. Is that what you want?”
The world’s sexiest over 60, San Francisco-born surfer Laird Hamilton, a man with enormous and deeply sunburned breasts and a nose as red as a turkey-cock, has been hailed as “the greatest longevity model we ever had” by wellness experts.
A tweet by BowTiedPhys posited, “Inevitable you come to accept him as the greatest longevity model we ever had” alongside a carousel of photos showing a man with an oak tree trunk supported by the golden pillars of a devoted family, a life gilded by strength and love.
Kevin Dahlstron, founder of the “premium testosterone service” Bolt Health, subsequently reposted the tweet alongside his own summation of Laird Hamilton’s example of how to live.
I can count the people I truly admire on one hand.
Laird is one of them.
He’s one of the few who passes this test:
Don’t emulate someone unless you want their *whole* life, not just one part of it.
Society puts people on a pedestal when they’re wildly successful in one thing (usually money), but most of those people are one-dimensional and equally unsuccessful in other areas—with broken relationships, bad health, and spiritual emptiness.
Elon Musk—the world’s richest man—has referred to his life as a “tortured existence”.
Is that what you want?
I’ve followed Laird for many years believe he’s someone worth emulating:
—Married 28 years (same as me)
—Close-knit family
—Plenty of money but…
—Lives a simple life on his terms
—Lives in his happy place
—Not caught up in fame or followers
—Health & fitness is his top priority
—Curiosity & thirst for adventure
A few years ago I stopped at a food truck in Hanalei and spotted Laird and his family sitting at a picnic table. I didn’t want to bother him, so I just walked up and said, “Hi Laird, I’m a big fan.”
We ended up talking for ten minutes, and he was exactly who I’d always hoped he was.
Be careful who you emulate, because you just might get there.
Long, long ago, I came to the conclusion that better to be poor with a healthy body and a curious mind than to be chained to work, only to come up for air, fragile or broken, for the final dozen or so summers.
Laird Hamilton, therefore, is the model we should follow.
But I do have questions: at what point do you dip into the tezzy and is the risk of supercharging a dormant cancer worth the punch from all that extra musculature and feverish energy and dicky that won’t go down without a rope and stake?
And did you know BeachGrit founder Chas Smith has a profile of Laird Hamilton in the new Surfer’s Journal, cut from his I Hate Surfing interview and with what are, frankly, the best photos ever taken of Laird by Bros Marshall man Trace Marshall?
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The most baffling thing about right wing twitter is just how gay they all are. Some seem to be legitimately gay – some of them talk about sex with women the same way prisoners talk about prison rape. But also the whole homoeroticism thing seems like they’re baiting people into calling them gay.
I have some more half baked thoughts on this but the whole thing is just strange.
Ok, here’s how this rolls. You comment. The rest… you leave up to me. It’s been like 11 years now and I’ve been on both sides of the moderation hammer/line in the sand. I got this, it’s really not that hard. Sleep easy.
Nah, I’m fine to do as I do. Seems to mostly work out quite well for everyone down here.
It’s not 1985, nobody gives a shit what some pro surfer thinks or does. They’re just good surfers, That’s a blessing, but one that carries hardy any weight outside of the ocean in this era.
Sweet as, he knows all the boyzz. He can easily ring up and ask Mikey & Owen if their sister is happy being talked about like that. If she’s happy, He’s back in.
Great answer.
Have plenty of friends with beachside mansions, new Landcruisers and crippling debt. Get any of them one on one and they’re miserable.
As Gonad man once said (or was it Sam George?) life is a race, he with the most tubes wins
Surf punks never leave home without their snorkel masks…..just in case.
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Oh cool I thought it was Fisher.
Xox
I have a mate that was one of the original Aussie tow surf crew and they’d watch the Laird movie “Strapped” on repeat. He said the best way to watch it was to accept that it’s actually a love story between Laird and whomever his tow partner was at the time. Said it was hilarious.
If that self righteous call is a reference to myself, as I said I’d only say something that I’d say in front of her brothers, well… Strayan Cunt is forgetting that I’m also a Strayan Cunt. And I’ve been a Strayan Cunt longer than he has and was forged in times that are very different to today.
And one thing is certain….in company of strangers, you don’t talk about women in a fashion that you wouldn’t say in front of the men in their families. That’s only fair. Perhaps Strayan Cunt would be able to say what he says in front of Owen and Mikey? If so I dare say it’s because he IS mates with them. As any Strayan Cunt saying that about a stranger’s sister is otherwise likely to get his teeth knocked out.
I didn’t mind Strayan Cunt’s contributions but he’s got to remember that no one here has the insight into personal context to any comments made. A joke amongst friends is fine but to everyone not in on the joke it just looks like you’re being a seedy cunt.
Reckon Laird dyes his hair?
The Tyler post comments would have been a soft 4, compareed to the OG stab days
Good times……. good times
@Com
Some Palm Springs surf for you. Someone in the comments said that these guys make it look fun. Looks like they’re still out of business, though.
I see… I guess smooth skin is a requisite for D Reilly to get frisky in his prose. Febs was a lucky recipient, but no Laird?
Enjoys a lithe frame I guess.
Top or bottom D? Dom, sub… power bottom?
Aggressive power top!
Borrrraaaaaaaa
Rawwwwrr
Did Kevin swallow or spit?
Sup’s, foil boarding…what will be his final ruinous pestilence released upon our line ups?
It didn’t start well, and then hit this hurdle, so I couldn’t read any more.
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What sort of weirdo spots someone well-known, says in their mind that they’ll leave the person alone, then ignores normal sense, bowls up and interrupts a family’s lunch.
A fruitloopish type of weirdo, that’s what.
And presumably he’d always hoped Laird to be ‘overly accommodating to pesky strangers during his personal time’.
Odd…
Perceptive take.
Thank fuck he had the decency to post it to X so we can all see how cool it was meeting laird. And thank fuck for BG for putting together an article on it. I would have been completely unaware of this encounter and thus a shittier existence. Now? I’ll sleep like a baby!
High levels of testosterone have been linked to reduced cognitive reflection. So weirdly, it all makes sense in the end.
Can you imagine what qualifies as ‘bother him’ – sit down at the table between Laird and wife, cup his balls, pick food from his plate, and ask him about the nude sports illustrated photos?
I sat next to Nick Carroll at the latest CS comp, but I didn’t want to bother him, so I literally didn’t say anything to him and left him the fuck alone to enjoy watching the surf in peace.
ya should have said hello …I am Channeling the Gritters, and am a bottom feeder from BG…….love your ….????
So did Strayan Cunt really get booted?
Yes, unfortunately an article about Tyler Wright came up shortly after his reinstatement, which is like cooking up a batch in front of a freshly kicked junkie.
I feel bad for the poor guy.
Lol, re-booted after 24 hours, respect
It’s a shame as he’s quite open about how important commenting here is to him. Like a puppy that gets overexcited and piddles on the floor even though he knows it’s naughty.
I think he’s a worthwhile addition to the roster of reprobates, degenerates, dweebs, sportos, nerds and sluts that contribute here.
So is he gone for good Mr Negs?
Not sure., haven’t put any thought into it really. Occ said he seems to drop the IQ of place by 20, and I agree. Deeks and a couple of others get all giddy and giggly, then start treading the same path too once he drops some bangers.
Hard as it is to imagine, I’m doing it purely for the love of below the line.
Hey ! I didn’t even see his post ! I’m just naturally fucked up coz of my parents! Get it right ya know it all cunt @
And anyway I apologised and redeemed myself with the “sponsor process ” post. If my humour is too sophisticated for you dumb cunts I can’t do anything about it. Hahaha
And get fucked cunts ! ( not you mr negulater)
It’s Christianity and my parents fault
oh and surfing
I’m saying you run meet him at the bottom of the hill. You’re better at the top, even half way and certainly don’t normally go down there.
Aw thanks cuz. I’m blushing a little bit hey. I’m taking that as a compliment and a punch in the face at the same time. ” keep running up that hill … no promises ” katey bush I think
Degenerate slut. I fill 2 categories.
Remember sneaking back into pubs only to wreak more havoc than before.
Xox
Ha fuck hey.
Xox
There can be only one Cunt.
“I didn’t want to bother him….so I just walked up and said “ blah blah blah””
One thing you’ve got to love about Australians is our general ability to keep it in our pants when there’s “ celebrities” present. Of course there’s exceptions but on the whole most Aussies are content to leave them alone.
As for Laird….good on him.
Accurate and appreciated
You sound famous
How do you guys keep your hands off Hemsworth?! So chiseled, so available, so down to earth. Must take restraint.
All the Aussie pros are his fluffers
A few years ago I went to a place in Oz called Red Bluff ( Epic left in NW WA desert) . We got there real early in the season mostly just to fish with chance of a few empty waves. It’s 200kms from the nearest (shitty little ) town with 80kms of that dirt road and just one sheep station homestead in the middle. 1600 kms from the nearest city. There’s nothing but limestone , spinifex, heat, flies and goat shit adjoining the most incredibly spectacular and alive ocean you’ll ever come across. It’s camping with all food,water and shelter brought in by yourself.
When we got there it was just one other camp. A nice couple travelling around Australia. We introduced ourselves by giving them some fish on our second or third day. They were grateful for the fish and said the crew camping there who’d just left right before we arrived were really nice too.
Said we might have heard of them….it was Chris Hemsworth and Matt Damon.
Who cares …the big question is..did they meet Lumo?
You sure the weren’t just Blowin smoke up your arse???
No, they were there.
Things I’ve learnt in life:
1)Having a no debt simple existence where you work only when you need to is very underrated. I aim for a maximum of 104 days a year working to support myself.
2) Testosterone supplements? Maybe try cutting back a little on alcohol, cutting out sugar and increasing your exercise. A good regular cardio workout and somewhat healthy diet will keep the lead in your pencil
3) Smoking may look cool, but it will leave you with a small shriveled penis with about as much use as a pool cue made of spaghetti.
Laird may be bit of a tool sometimes, but I’d rather share the lineup with him than the current crop of mugwits on mid length twins around here
Agree on all points except perhaps the last. Call it rumourmongering, call it hearsay, call it what you will, but i recall someone talking about going surfing on Kauai and watching Laird on his SUP paddle past everyone back to the top of the lineup on repeat for an entire session.
His book was called “ Take every wave”.
Hey, as long as he keeps it in Kauai, I see no issue
Yeah cause touring Hawaiians are notoriosly generous.
I already live a tortured existence.
If I had enough money to be like Elon and torture everyone else I could live with it.