Surfing Was Supposed to Be Free-Spirited — So Why Are So Many Surfers Politically Conservative?

Is it possible that natural footers are inherently evil, and goofy footers are genetically predisposed to good?

Recent evidence shows that the vast majority of surfers incarcerated in Greater Los Angeles, as was reported in the scientific paper ‘Right Foot Forward?’ by Hollingsworth and Bribey (2026), in the peer-reviewed journal Sports and Science, “…were regular-footers”.

At times like these, when it seems like everyone is pitted against one another, wouldn’t it be great if a pursuit as seemingly innocuous as surfing could bring the world together? Unfortunately, it appears to be doing the exact opposite. Just like everything else, it’s splitting the world apart.

Some hold to the theory that democratic politics is fatally flawed and communism is the key. Others believe that capitalistic business models are benefiting industries by dividing us into two separate camps and keeping us at war with our imaginary enemy, suggesting Marxism as a possible solution. Some blame the media, which feeds whichever beast pays them the most. But what if it was biology that was causing all the trouble?

Dr Ian McGilchrist’s central thesis is that the left and right hemispheres of the brain attend to the world in fundamentally different ways. Evolved for different purposes, the left hemisphere is primarily focused on capturing prey, while the right hemisphere is more concerned with watching out for predators. The left hemisphere is narrow, grasping, utilitarian, obsessed with control and categorisation. The right hemisphere is broad, relational, intuitive, attuned to the living whole.

Now consider the surfer.

A natural‑footer places the right foot at the rear, thereby, according to McGilchrist, placing the left hemisphere in charge of the entire surfing experience.

This means the natural‑footer approaches the wave with the cold, dissecting logic of a bureaucrat auditing a tax return. They do not ride the wave; they manage it. They do not dance with the ocean, they supervise it. Their turns are not expressions of joy but administrative procedures.

The goofy‑footer, by contrast, surfs with his left foot at the rear, and thus, again, according to McGilchrist, places the right hemisphere in the driver’s seat. This is why goofy‑footers surf with a kind of luminous, unforced grace. They are not riding a wave; they are communing with it. They are not performing manoeuvres; they are participating in a cosmic improvisation.

Think of two of the most iconic surfers of the past 50 years: Gerry Lopez, soul-arching like a Zen Buddhist monk, in the eye of the storm at Pipeline. Compared to Michael Peterson, chopping and dicing the waves of Burleigh Heads like he was being paid per turn.

I could give many other and more recent examples of world-famous left-hemisphere natural-footers who are emblematic of this onerous behaviour, but as it turns out, these personality types are also far more litigious than goofy-footers, and I would no doubt end up in court.

Natural‑foot surfing, when analysed through a hemispheric lens, often displays characteristics associated with left‑hemisphere processing:

●      a preference for control over uncertainty

●      a tendency toward linear, goal‑oriented movement

●      an emphasis on prediction and management

●      a perceptual narrowing during critical moments

These traits can produce powerful, decisive surfing. Many of the sport’s most successful competitors exhibit these qualities precisely: clarity of intention, strategic precision, and a capacity to impose structure on chaotic conditions. But these traits are also exhibited by most CEOs, Presidents, and Prime Ministers, power-hungry control freaks.

Yet the left hemisphere’s strengths are also its limitations. It can become rigid, defensive, and overly certain of its interpretations. It also ignores evidence of failure and continues to pursue ideas and programs it has instigated, which have obviously failed, rather than admit they were wrong.

Some observers note that natural footers surf on the wave performatively rather than in it, relationally. Is it possible they are not just far more narcissistic than Goofy footers? Which McGilchrist suggests, but also latent psychopaths?

Goofy‑foot surfing, by contrast, often reflects the qualities McGilchrist associates with the right hemisphere:

●      openness to context

●      sensitivity to subtle shifts in energy

●      a capacity for relational movement

●      comfort with ambiguity and emergence

These surfers often seem less concerned with imposing a plan and more attuned to discovering what the wave is offering. Their lines may appear more adaptive, their timing more intuitive, their presence more fluid. They are surfing with a completely different part of their brain, their awareness, not their ego. This has been described as the difference between surfing with wholesome love and grotesque lust.

The right hemisphere, in McGilchrist’s model, perceives the world as a living whole rather than a set of manipulable parts. Goofy‑foot surfing, at its best, embodies this relational intelligence.

This leads to a provocative, though perhaps unavoidable, conclusion: It is simply a case of goodies and baddies.

Is it possible that natural footers are inherently evil, and goofy footers are genetically predisposed to good?

Natural‑footers, McGilchrist suggests, perhaps driven by childhood trauma or intergenerational grief or fear, may be neurologically engineered toward control, rigidity, and low‑grade moral hazard, and thus lead with their left foot. While goofy‑footers, perhaps drawn by ancestral kindness and forgiveness, or faith, may be predisposed toward intuition, relational awareness, and spiritual luminosity, and lead with their right foot.

This would make Goofy-footers predisposed to goodness and Natural-footers evil.

I asked ChatGPT whether this theory was plausible, and among its observations was that surfing writers and commentators often refer to goofy-footers as “generous” and “kind-hearted” and natural-footers as “cunning” and “manipulative.”

Perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised that all eight surfers from my Dark Lineage series, who have also been accused of being the demonic icons of Australian surfing, are natural footers. Interestingly, the only one to flirt with spirituality, Kevin ‘The Head’ Brennan, was also the only one to practice switch-stance, surfing as a goofy-footer occasionally.

Further recent evidence, should it be needed, is the predictable response to a BeachGrit article I wrote a month ago, in which I predicted I could mobilise the left-wing lunatics in the comments section, predominantly natural-footers, to go right on an imaginary peak we were supposedly splitting by suggesting I go right. Even with fair warning, they exposed themselves as rebellious contrarians hiding behind the fantasy that they preferred to “surf forehand.”

Don’t blame the messenger, trust the science.

This is, of course, a hypothesis that requires further research, ideally conducted by someone with more credentials than McGilchrist or me, both of whom, it should also be noted, are goofy-footers – not to boast.

But the preliminary evidence is compelling.

Another idea that McGilchrist has floated is that this goofy/natural good/evil divide has something to do with the battle of the sexes. He describes the left hemisphere as the irrational female, and the right hemisphere as the pragmatic male.

This divide has increased social polarisation, not only leading to the feminisation of society and demonisation of men but also causing many previously macho, back-foot, male surfers to become increasingly gay front foot “Fem-bots,” and “Pansy surfers.”

“They grow their hair long and surf knock-kneed and without fins, while talking and singing with girly voices and become activists and go to protests demonstrating about their constantly changing shopping lists of imaginary complaints like their pre-menstrual,” McGilchrist noted.

Australian surfing journalist Kim Boulanger is following up his/her autobiographical transgender transition story “Clitorectomy – My Incredible Shrinking Penis” with his/her new memoir “How My Bottom has Turned into Our Vagina.”