"They said to tell you to fuck off."
The British comic Daniel Barker, aka Damien Slash, whose satirical barbs have made him somewhat of an online sensation, as they say, has been slaughtered online in one masterful coup de grâce by the surf king Kelly Slater.
In a short reel, Barker, in character, claims the machine elves, those psychedelic entities often reported in DMT trips, have kicked him out of the DMT dimension forever. He says he doesn’t even know what he did wrong, he “didn’t say anything.”
A mockery of psychedelic culture and overly serious spiritual claims etc.
Slater, who is fifty-four and the father of two, including lil Tao and with one ready to spring into life any day now, knows a thing or two about machine elves.
His life was changed forever in late 2017 after one week at Rythmia Life Advancement Center, a luxury retreat in Guanacaste, Costa Rica, that offers ayahuasca trips, ayahuasca has DMT in it, and where “98.02% of our guests report a life-changing miracle during their stay.”
In a widely shared testimonial shortly after his ayahuasca visit he called it “the most profound experience of my life. I got a miracle of information. It opened up some sort of doorway in my future. It was otherworldly.”
And in reply to Slash’s post, Slater delivered his mastercut, his Strike of Wrath, writing:
“I went in and asked them. They said to tell you to fuck off.”
Very clever but is it Kelly Slater’s best work?
Better than,
“Blood feud: Slater vs Flat Earthers!”
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Slater’s golf transformation into a a country club snob is so complete that even his drug of choice kicks out the undesirables.
🤣🤣🤣
Haha, wow hey.
Xox
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Yesterday. Check it out astro.
lifes fucken good. No noisey diesel 4x4s blaring off. Just got some molly dropped off for the long weekend. The city crew can’t afford to come down…and me favourite beers are on spesh! Smug adjacent thread….I.e.slater
According to the pentagon news briefing this morning America has done the hard part by dropping bombs from 20,000 feet. Now you’re going to have to go get your own oil yourself.
What are you waiting for?
I’ll stick to gas and drugs from 1 % ers
Do you have to pick a mens and womens surfer, or just one, in the surfival?
Yeah, but how’s his butt?
I dont know whats happening. Is this Jack Robinsons new coach? Is Kelly S slightly paranoid & insecure. DMT? Kellys a bit like Micheal Jackson never had a chance of understanding the working mans reality. Maybe he and Tiger should have a night out.
Not being on social media makes me feel like ive comboed a heat win over Slater in this part of life
9.6 and 9.7 combo comment
Isn’t commenting here a form of ‘social media’ though ?
I would’ve considered you to be an internationally known social media ‘player’, if not told otherwise…
Nope, i had 2 weeks on facebook in 2012, so gay.
More than 24,000 comments here (possibly more including Bexy and maybe other nom de plumes) definitely makes you an internationally known social media player Chief
Whether we like the label, or not…
Yeah its 23 thou for chief and bex combined and a few before Stab shut down, but thats it.
Yoy wont find me anywhere else.
To be fair 20,000 of those comments were in the first 2 months of your arrival.
That was hectic!!!
My PI and Repo days, lottsa long boring stakeouts.
Expand on PI and Repo days!
Wait, who were you on Stab?
Were you telling everyone you know to get fucked? Haha.
Xox
I wanted to
so facebook 2012..looking for gays?
“Antisocial media”
“Social Dementia”
Is this the worst wave ever caught in the entire history of surfing?
A thousand foot high, afterbirth covered closeout that may very well end your life.
Why?
( Thanks to Swellnet for the photo)
If only my dad pushed me into foamies that big when I was learning to surf.
looks like a good fun drop on a Sat morning
Certainly would have kept the lung capacity up and running
You’ve caught that big?
You think tow or paddle? If paddle, yeah.
Yeah that’s fucked.
Xox
shorebreak at Bells?
Seems overly crude for KS, and kinda doesn’t quite connect with the ole’ Baton de humour.
Points for trying to be a normal human however.
He’s not doing himself any favours. That’s for sure
I prefer this to JWF
what’s JWF?
Ca internet surf guy jonathan Wayne freeman. Notorious for going to war with uber liberal Richard kenvin over Israel Gaza conflict.
Come on L.T. Quit reading those boring old books and get online bro.
fuk dem kooks mate.
John Wayne Freeman
Who would you rather spend a day with?
This online arguing version of Kelly is kinda wild, he needs some serious PR help. That said, that guy’s joke dragged on far too long.
It’s got to be a joke, right?Why else would you drop a one liner on a insta-comedian telling him to “fuck off”. Makes no sense at all.
Skater must have 500 friends and acquaintances on social media. How has this fella come across his feed, just by complaining that he’s taken too much Deems without attempting to integrate his journeys? Needs a social media intervention; unless he was just trying to be funny.
Aya Slater?
Peak Cunt Slater, it upsets me because as a functioning evening stoner throughout my whole 20’s and barely touching anything except for a few stimulants being countable on one hand, that a tee totaling dork cunt like Slater can come in and be an aficionado of the final boss of drugs. The black belt of hallucinogens, pushed into the set waves of self discovery, paying the surf guides of the psychedelic wellness world. Only to emerge more pompous than ever. And here is little old me saving mushrooms as an end of life soothing journey.
What a fucking grade A cunt.
Xox
Bone Broth.
Criticizing anyone that isn’t a millionaire for having access to the best sunscreen and or diet. Cunt is on another planet.
Xox
Easily done, I think, if existing in rarified atmos.
Not defending it.
Hmmmm yes but seems like he hasn’t suffered the ego death of a ton of ayahuasca journeys. Can’t cure cuntish.
Xox
hahahaha, absolutely bang on D’nuts.
All the while pedaling soulless pop out fucking bullshit surfboards.
Xox
I don’t get why he even does that
And painting up a regular board to appear as a firewire when still on tour.
Xox
Excellent range DN
Definitely
Ah thank you.
Xox
Amen
Let us pray.
Xox
I see (but deny) the end of the road coming around the corner. Mentally and biologically I know the trajectory for me, is worm food. Hopefully those other organisms get some type of nourishment, as this world has nourished me, no questions asked, for about 5 decades. But emotionally, I’m not there yet. But I’m with you–going more into mushrooms over the time I have left. Brain cells don’t matter so much to me anymore, especially as I age and get dumber anyway, and my good friends seem to be in supply all the time. Done some microdosing with them at 2 concerts over the last 1.5 years, and, fun. A nice full-body tingle and relaxation and openness–not enough to get visions, so maybe I need to take a bit more. Never did ecstasy so can’t compare it to that–but a nice, mellow vibe, peaking with my cells vibrating to good music. Maybe it’s another crutch, like prayers to the invisble sky daddy who is going to love me forever, but, yeah, I’ll be doing more and more in the years to come.
Gotta try some molly mate. (From a reliable source of course) then make up your mind
Probably will do in my 70s. Still too much of a control freak, to be able to enjoy the experience.
Bless! Me too.
Xox
March forward brave soul!!!
Xox
The finger in my bum helps steer me!
Your immoral compass!
Xox
Need to take a couple grams to have any meaningful experience, and do it out in nature at night.
I had the “fortune” of catching an interview with Curren by Dave Prodan (many years old) and another with Bruce Irons by Nate Fletcher (one year old). Maybe we shouldn’t ask some surfers to be on camera.
Two total legends, and I hope they remain in the fore of the community forever, but maybe transcribed and edited interviews would work better. Fletcher had the good sense to have amazing footage cycling through in the background (very good editing) or else I would have had to turn it off.
Hopefully Slater was trying to be funny, because the idea of telling some random comedian to fuck off, on social media is nutty behaviour, in any other context.
It’s all meaningless till he turns up here…
Slater = Cavvy
Prove me wrong, or eat faeces slaves
Ha, wow. Strayan Cunt is Wiggs.
Xox
lol, who’s James B then ?
Bicko? Haha, No one of even faux European elegance about here.
Xox
Was thinking about him just yesterday.
Wonder what happened to ole’ Bicko.
He probably got a life haha. Perhaps we should follow suit.
Xox
The old chestnut that commenting on here means you’ve got no life is such a tired old trope that never had any basis in fact. Everyone in the world spends time on the internet. The only pre-internet activity that it’s replaced for most people is watching the fucken Tele.
Give me lol’ing interactive shit talk about surf adjacent stuff over mindless slack-jawed, passive consumption of advert-riddled dogshit TV every day of the week.
Hey there’s always channel 44 !
Well yes true in a sense.
Xox
Would the 24 year old version of yourself be on here? No.
If the answer is yes, your youth was fucked.
….
kids do other things now.
I’m stuck here myself. Unless I’m escorted out like Ben
We are the drunks propping up the bar!
Xox
Nothin wrong with that until ya gotta piss
7.8, just out of excellent range
Think he had an unhealthy relationship with here and being a stay home Dad. Hope he’s well.
Stay at home dad…, like thats gonna work.
I’d do it if Wifey had a baller high paid job.
Really.
And that Joiny cunt? He was the worst!
Ha fuck hey. David Joiny?!
Hope I didn’t summon the fuckwit.
Xox
Lol that cunt got me banned so many times
No. Wigs was witty. I admired his work from afar.
Definitely a funny cunt. In another realm to most on here
Oh we were (are) all buried in his shadow.
I completely agree with both comments sir and send my apologies
No way Wiggs was masterful. A.C. is a loud mess
they played the same notes.
where is Wiggs?
No, they didn’t. Strayan Cunt leaned into being basic. Wiggs had far greater range and subtlety. Wiggs was class.
They played the same instrument to entirely different outcomes
Wiggs was bill bruford….s.c was animal off the muppets
Bill buford, the guy who wrote Among the thugs? For some stupid reason i read it as a kid, don’t know why . I’m not violent, i hated football mentality then and i still hate it now.
Bruford the drummer
I miss Wiggs.
Poor old Cavvy. What a tortured wee boy.
Or the best troll ever.
Him or Wiggoley’s Paddling Style.