Surfing heartthrob Noa Deane marries horse wrangler Mariah Hearn in sexy beach wedding 

"Happiness is only real when it's shared."

This is gonna knock the ol socks off, make you ponder the swiftness of time passing.

Little Noa Deane, scion of the late, great Wayne Deane, a chubby lil boy whose skills rival John John, bad boy Gabby and co on the world tour and who once spent three days in a teary hole after he said the WSL wasn’t so great and the surf fans responded with great unkindness, is…thirty two years old, can you believe. 

And, as of the other day, lil Noa, who ain’t little either, six-two or thereabouts, couple a hundred pounds in his all black Veeco wetsuit, has prompted an enormous outpour of love and congratulations following his wedding to glamorous horse wrangler and massage oil entrepreneur Mariah Hearn of Chicos Cheats fame. 

As you can see, very sexy etc, Noa in jumbo sized black tee and loose-ish pants, mid-length cut into a bob and brushed over forehead while Mariah stuns in ruffled, lace-trimmed neckline that elegantly frames her neck, paired with a fitted bodice overlaid with antique Carrickmacross lace. Rumour is a small, 18-karat gold horseshoe charm studded with white diamonds was stitched into the lining for good luck.

Many famous names in the comments, from Tom Carroll to Nathan Florence to Great White attack survivor Kai Mckenzie to Haz Bryant and even world’s greatest surf journalist Sean Doherty.

Click here to enjoy the show.

Marriage, as I firmly believe, is the bedrock of a man’s life and of civilisation, something I realised too late hence I force that belief on any couple I see drifting apart.

I am, I think, the opposite of Oz Wilde whose quote from The Picture of Dorian Gray you might know: “Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.”

So untrue. Or no?