“Finding balance with our new addition. 3 months of Azumi Moon being with her brother Tao."
Five months go, the greatest surfer ever, Kelly Slater, told the world he was gonna be a daddy for the third time, this time bringing a lil sister into this gorgeous world for his boy Tao Druku, then one, and his much-older daughter, Taylor, who was twenty-nine.
Kelly Slater, who just turned fifty-four, and Chinese-American bikini mogul Kalani Miller, 38, Kelly’s partner for almost two decades, did the ol gender reveal on Instagram.
The post was liked fifty-three thousand times, generated 1500 comments, was forwarded almost two thousand times and reposted 150 times.
“Baby girl arriving Spring 2026,” writes Kelly.
Well, here’s the spring baby, lil Azumi Moon, now three months old.
“Finding balance with our new addition. 3 months of Azumi Moon being with her brother Tao,” Slater wrote.
Name wise, Azumi Moon has a sharp contemporary and a very international feel, Azumi Japanese for “ocean beauty” and Moon meaning, among other things, “femininity, renewal and growth.”
Naming kids is one of my specialities, had three wins there, and I applaud Slater on his choices, particularly Tao’s middle name Druku.
Kid gonna get any wave he wants at Cloudbreak in perpetuity.
For the daddies below the line, and not just the sugary pops, what’s the secret to good namin’?
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What ever happened to good old traditional names like Fanny and Dick
He wanted to name her Kelly Me Me
Having a smart wife
These names are garbage. The secret is avoiding anything Slater thinks is cool.
I think we are better at naming, right Dognuts and stayan cunt”
Both fine kids names
Nah…nah…nah. This is just another distraction from the files. The Stab files. Don’t think for a second we are forgetting that you knew all along that board was a Dan Mann.
I guess the name Moonbeam was taken?
And Moonunit.
Xox
“I’ve never met anyone who comes out of the water and says, ‘Oh, I wish I hadn’t gone for a surf.’ You always feel better for it.”
Brooke Farris claims that she’s never met me, but she’s clearly lying. Wonder how she’s doing these days (apparently she is working for the Wsl)
Don’t name ya kid something that makes me want to punch you when you inevitably have to scream it across a Dan Murphys car park at 9:30am..such a vibe killer
I’m guessing you don’t need this ayahuasca inspired name to punch KS?
The Goat is unpunchable mate..I’m sure he did enough in his heyday to have had his clock wiped clean on multiple occasions but..never happened, in public anyway.
I wonder why he and Chas never stepped into the octagon?
Age is just a number but Gabe’s fakes post about his baby last year, which turned out to be him launching a new surfboard label for kids, got, according to BG, “liked three hundred k times and received five thousand comments”, while K-dog got less than half of that (although there’s still time for it to likemaxx) for having a real, actual kid. I can see why the brands have attached themselves to the young, supple bucks and slowly distanced themselves from the old warhorse.
The GOAT may be aging a bit, but the milk is still worth the cheese.
When you gonna give “LGBTQ Lindsay” Graham a shout out? He had your back and would of reached around to the front if he could of!
Who knew that Kelly is a Japanese Manga fan?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
This is clearly chinese-‘merican cultural appropriation.
I believe it was likely inspired by a really rough ayahuasca journey
Ever had one? A rough aya/ psych journey, I mean.
Never on ayahuasca, but I’ve had a few on shrooms and two stick out. One at the top of Alta on a big powder day and one in a bar playing foosball.
Sensory overload. I’ve only ever had pleasant experiences in nice, quiet environments. One or two unpleasant experiences, but couldn’t be called ‘rough’ by any means.
The Alta day remains legendary as we kept skiing after an hour or so of uncontrolled laughter while the foosball experience led to me going home and sitting in my closet for about four hours exploring the meaning of life. I guess they really weren’t bad experiences like many others have endured. A sage old hippie told me to never do hallucinogenic around negative people and his words were spot on.
You want negative try watching Pink Floyd’s The Wall while shrooming hard.
Everyone wants to claim positivity leading to enlightenment, but it is coping with crushing depression while high as a kite that really leads to personal reflection.
WOW! I absolutely preferred looking at the clothes in my closet after seeing the men on the foosball table moving in manners that weren’t normal.
My only hallucinogenic experiences to date were unplanned reactions to scopolamine. 0/10 do no recommend, though I imagine it could be fun in the right circumstance. Synesthesia is what I remember the most. The first time I was too freaked out to enjoy any of it. The second time I was angry because it was a medical error. Maybe I’ll give mushrooms a go at some point…
DEFINITELY give mushrooms a try. And LSD. With your hussie, and a trip sitter to help guide you both / help you get to the bathroom to have a pee / etc.
But read How To Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan first. Such an interesting book. I’ve listened to it many times, as it’s so novel and interesting. Also, bonus book The Psychedelic Explorer’s Guide by Dr. James Fadiman (who is a legit OG researcher from the 50s when everything was still legal and being researched). I got the audiobooks but you can get second hand copies online so that both you and the husband can read both of them. They really prepare you for the intensity of a huge trip and make the trips so much more meaningful.
I’ve listened to Michael Pollan on a couple of podcasts. Very interesting stuff. I’ll pick up that book and give it a go. My husband listens to audiobooks on his long drive to/from work, so I’ll suggest it to him.
He’s 56
So the love of turtles and turtle shell tread sandals… is he over that now?…
Don’t act as if the swing at making a few extra million selling shit that people had to buy anyway (slippers) wasn’t worth the try. It was a noble attempt at commerce.
I heard that Reebok bought them out.
Terrapin Moon has a ring to it. Missed opportunity.
In relation to the “sugary pops” I am stepping away my Romanian/Filipina treat. We get along famously but the small town will never understand and it is stressing us to no end. What a ride though. Bless her.
Xox
Aw just had a vege lasagne that was easily an 8.9
seriously Barney
Get some pork on your fork you flaming homosexual!
Xox
One more that good an I may go there
Haha bless your future dirt trekking schlong deeks.
Xox
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=YgnnrZfoZS0&si=RzTzxgnGBUrR3rmO
Mate, we are best friends now, I have been obsessing over her for a couple of years now and no one knows of her here!!
Xox
When she played this at Red Rocks I almost left Mrs Madeoff for her
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jMyhTSLSJ4
Fruits of my labour had the best vocal delivery my goodness.
Xox
So true and she is the example of Junior Wells saying that the blues is a natural fact of life and deep hurt. Love this lady!
Oh gosh we are real friends now. Swoon!
Xox
Love it. But partial to “Still I Long For Your Kiss”.
Love me a good veggie lasagna.
I am confused, has Kalani had it yet? Also congrats Dez cuz what a day you’ve had with this news, Gabes wedding and a shark alert? Now all we need is some expensive coastal real estate news and something pro Israeli and you can just give it all up and go out at the top!!
You missed “tranny wins a 2 star q’uey” almost had bingo!
Xox
How about a Negs update?
What, like he is getting pegged by his new misso?
Xox
I don’t care for any of this. And I’m pleased about that.
How does he know its a girl??
Oh my, the typing and backspace undoing I have done would make split your sides. Bless my decorum.
Xox
C’mon Derek you need to get a bit passive aggressive with the kelster, refer to him as “formerly one of the greatest surfers ever”. Worst case his fanboys from the Inertia will come over in apoplexy.
Re names: Kids with weird names or weird spellings absolutely resent it.
john is just way too plain (sorry bout that JSC but at least it’s not mohammed). You can’t go wrong with most popular name of the year, though naming a diminutive (e.g. jack) as the given name just shows lack of intelligence of the parent.
The last point <3
I recently was speaking with a tile setter on my job site about names. I can’t remember how it came up but this was the conversation-
Tile setter- My mom’s name is Barbara.
Me- Wow.. my moms name is Martha. Nobody naming there kids Barbara and Martha anymore.
Tile setter- Actually I have a friend who just named his daughter Martha.
Me- Really?! Poor thing.