"Try it. If you see me, try it. F**ken f*ck around and find out.’”
It’s been almost one year since the Oscar-nominated actor and director Jonah Hill appeared on these pages.
You’ll remember BeachGrit had plenty of sport with Jonah Hill’s early attempts at surfing, but was brought back down to earth…thud… with a phone call from the star pleading that he was just a man wanting to feel the joy of surfing.
He apologised for overshooting the boundaries allowed to the vulnerable adult learner surfer and I exited the call convinced of his good guy bona fides. Who could argue?
Now, Jonah has revealed that after eight years of training jiujitsu, a quasi-gay sport where a popular position is to sit cross-legged in front of your opponent during a “fight” and attempt to snake your legs around his as you seek his heel, which you hold while you try and twist his knee with your pinned legs, he has become, what they call around these parts, a weapon.
In an interview captured recently, Jonah says:
“I love Brazilian jiu-jitsu, except my body is begging me to not love it. Forty-two is… My wife is often like, ‘You’re not going to become a professional fighter, right? You’re a comedian.’
Jonah’s interlocutor asks,
“If we got into it…”
Jonah interjects, “I would fuck you up. Yeah. And that’s the best part, my favourite thing is, like, people are like, “’Jonah Hill, fat guy from Superbad,’ and I’m like, ‘I would fucking annihilate you, dude. I’m not kidding. Try it. If you see me, try it. Unless you are way bigger than me I will fucken…fuck around and find out.’”
Unlike Jonah, after half-a-dozen years of jiujitsu, of being choked, slammed, smothered and bent by everyone from girls to slight Asian university students, I can safely say I will fuck no man or woman up, unless much smaller, untrained and not very angry.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
The ultimate test would be if Jonah Hill could survive Fuller’s headlock
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
2 words that would triage the cunt…pencat selat
Wow, homeboy has issues. And probably a very small dick.
no he’s actually small trim and very fit!
You ever meet and talk to him, to size him up?
Wow, tell us more about some celeb kook. Do you share a trauma bond with him bro?
haha scorned lover or, you represent what I have been fighting against my whole life white racist cunts like you….so it’s nice to see you out in the open , even though you are still ananomous (So you think)…..drop the tokenism and declare your white is right/colonialism was the best thing to happen to Indigenous peoples/have a perverse view of what an Australian should be like Pauline…….I mean what is there to love about KKK white Aussie?
why don’t you answer questions on your posts?
he hasn’t been fat for 5 years….duh!
copy dat
Agreed. Similar to his surfing ability. You can have all the passion in the world for these activities but you will never be good if you take them up in your 30s. At best you can become competent.
he dropped from a 38 waist to a 31 and from 280 lbs went to 145 lbs just becuase he fell in ,love with surfing…..
Explains a lot! He has fat kid and little man syndrome, so he will always hate himself. Surfing, money, and fame will never help. You know how he feels, hahaha
I wonder what he would do if someone just punched him in the nose.
see black and tear up
Ozempic Warlord. Mighty is he.
Wait till ol man Prostate starts waking you up to pee
Sleep becomes a series of naps
Are occasional Swellnet typings now considered a day job?
Dang Freeride chose a great screen name
He serious bro…kinda like Jim Carrey’s Jitsu display in Pet Detective.
Now here is some real clickbait from Outkick Sports…
Important announcement: I am upping my offer, $10 million dollars for a head-to-head basketball game between the defending WNBA champion Las Vegas Aces and a boy’s high school state title team of my choice. If the Aces beat my team, I will give them $10 million.
3:13 PM · Aug 3, 2026
576.9K Views
Now here is some clickbait from Chas’ Beachgrit:
I am offering 100K for a three way citadel-type no gloves boxing match between Com Turren, Otto, and Jonah. To be staged at the end of the Huntingtom Beach Pier and food prepaired by Mr. Oyster. With this claim: My oysters will kick your asses!
Let’s see if we can top Outkick’s 500K plus responses.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
wTF are they putting traffic signals in your bay? Fuck those clowns, never been so crowded and now stop lights for the kooks?
Tim whats going on?
questioning my satire, Sir? I challenge you to a surf-off, Frohoff!
Drove by your house on friday and freaked out on the traffic issues in your bay and the fucking traffic signals being installed
like the rinc, it’s a gated community. the extent of catering to the Mondo’s crowd. that and extending the bike path, RV parking, and all-comers beach access. all paid by the Cali climate change beauros. NOTICE: You are entering a high rising seas designated future disaster area. No worries Hip but thx for keeping an eye on the joint~
https://scontent-sjc6-1.xx….
that gated comm at the rinc – as much as we would all love to feed rich punks to the fishes , there are worse places on earth
Especially if the gated community had public access and your front yards were never uncrowded or quiet!
the front yards are serene it’s the back yards that get a little crowded
Surf Ninjas Must Die!!!
It’s the fucking Waikiki of southern California. Better question is-why has that one house been wrapped in white tarps for 3 years?
Yeah why?
Same builder did the house next door with no wrap?
Been trying to figure out the “why” for quite some time. Maybe your boy Tim left some oysters in there and they are trying to keep the horrific odor contained.
Have you noticed how secretive the workers are?
Caught my suspicion. House next door, equally new had no such security?
Maybe has house aids
Breaking Bad. $$$
It leaked. They discovered the GC did not use proper barrier. So they had to strip the exterior to the studs. To save the interior they wrapped it while they stripped it. Its been a couple years.
This is the perfect example of a place you don’t eat oysters from boys and girls, paper covering the plate is the dead giveaway. I can smell the stench through the computer screen.
fine. you can be a ring girl~
This would be a worthwhile watch. Make it happen mate
I’m gunna find the cunt and finger his bumhole and make him cum on the mat.
Xox
Wow!
Super bad am I right?
Xox
Dirty Dawg Moderator. Making Beach Grit loose again.
Sort of a non consensual cuddle
Hahaha! Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!
the two best lefties I’ve ever seen pitch in person are skubal and snell
this rotation is crazy
“Here, we show that the frequency of left-handers is strongly and positively correlated with the rate of homicides across traditional societies. It ranges from 3% in the most pacifistic societies, to 27% in the most violent and warlike. This finding is consistent with a frequency-dependent selection mechanism maintaining left-handedness in these societies.”
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1634940/
Everything built in the world has a slightly annoying quirk but you get an advantage in violence and sports that decreases as they become more prevalent. Pretty sure this exists with surfing too because there’s fewer people going for lefts so you get more waves.
parochial desks designed for righties and left me with a claw-type hand writing disadvantage. but is used that to an advantage by hurling a wicked curveball.
weirdly fascinating research
Handedness is a bizarre one. I got curious about it because it sees like there are too many left handed people in high level sports.
Another weird one is that identical twins have the same incidence of one right/one left as fraternal twins, when given the identical genetics you’d expect identical twins to have much lower right/left combos.
per the research , the lefty thing shouldn’t translate to surfing since it’s not man on man, like baseballs pitchers/hitters or tennis .
then again , no one ever goes ga ga over a regular footer’s backhand , but when it’s a goofy they act like it’s god’s gift (occy , wilko , c marks)
Wayne lynch…Bobby Martinez…those Christian brother cunts…Tony Abbott
Inquiring Minds Want to Know!!!!
What about those who are ambidextrous
R. Johnson. S Koufax.
2 guys I never saw in person , but yes they would count as an epic duo!
back when the Marvels were real peeps!
Seriously Rocks? They are 28 years apart in age and never came close to seeing the field at the same time.
no kidding , we’re playing in Tim’s fantasy world here