Are you tired of looking like an average joe? Well follow these simple steps to look like a pro!
To become a professional surfer you’ve got to be the best of the best. You’ve got to put your time in, press your shoulder against the wheel, duck dive, shred, spray, dawn patrol, evening glass, surf, surf, surf, surf, surf. No exceptions.
……Well maybe one exception. Let’s read about it in Elle!
The ropey matte waves worn by pro surfers like Laura Enever and Felicity Palmateer do notcome from a curling iron—they’re earned in the ocean. While some stylists will tell you it’s not possible to re-create the look on land, with a bit of salt spray and a lot of diffuser action, you too can pass for someone with a Billabong contract.
Start by misting wet hair with John Frieda Beach Blonde Sea Waves Sea Salt Spray (it’s for non-blondes, too), and then twist varying sections away from the face. No time to air dry? This is where your diffuser comes in handy. Flip your hair over and hit wet ends from the bottom, working your way up until waves are 80 percent dry. Finish with another salt spray mist. And get totally stoked, because you’ve just mastered the no-surf surf wave.
Have you mastered the no-surf surf wave? And I thought the “Billabong contract” look was a touch more, how do I say, provincial? A smidge more, let’s see, windshield sunglasses and flat brimmed hat and inner bicep tattoo?
Just add a nice a nice ass and sporty tits not those oversized yard dogs. Couple that with some short shorts and a bikini top and I’m sold. Surfer or not these attributes culminate into the look that catches my old man gaze. I can still look, even though I have been married for over a decade. After all I’m not dead just yet!
and ride a short round?
An asian lady asked me how I curl my hair one time. I told her it was a “permanent”.
I’m a big fan of deriding the provincial, as well as use of the word provincial. Do you think they’ll give demos at Mall of America? Will midwestliving.com link to the article? Can women with two black eyes and an opioid problem master this look?