Did you have a rough week? Not as rough as this! Gold medal bad!
Imagine, for a few moments, that you are Mr. Lowell Taub. An ex-ski racer. A sports agent to the stars! Your roster includes the likes of ski legend Bodie Miller and skateboarding prodigy Nyjah Huston. Life is so good. Very good. All you have to do is pick up the phone and deals come rolling in.
“Mr. Taub! Budweiser beer here…say, we really love that Bodie Miller fella. Can we give him a million dollars please?”
“Mr. Taub! Monster Energy on the horn… Whitney Houston is the voice of her generation….. wait. Nyjah. Nyjah Huston has the look the kids love. A million dollars?”
You sit back in your ergonomically superior chair and say, “How ’bout two million?”
Oh it’s child’s play!
And it don’t end with Bodie and Nyjah. You’ve got snowboard icon Shaun White and swimming’s most eligible gold medalist Ryan Lochte.
Wait! Shaun White AND Ryan Lochte?
Oh hell! You just had the WORST WEEK EVER!
Let us revisit. You woke up on Tuesday after a fun extended weekend and there is Shaun all over TMZ and Deadspin for showing penis pics to the drummer of his band, making her watch dead bear porn and telling cab drivers that they “suck dick for a living!”
Definitely not an easy spin. “My client was… ummm… uhhhhhh… joking.”
Then, two days later while sorting through the various penis pics Shaun sent over, your Ryan Lochte gets busted for bald-faced lying about being tougher than his friends while getting robbed at gunpoint in Rio!
An even harder spin! “My client was… I think… ummmmmmmmmmm… joking.”
The weekend cannot come fast enough.