Hot gossip straight from Hollywood!
Get a load of this slice of steamy gossip! Forgive the lack of accurate detail and possible meanders into non-truth. I was listening to someone else’s conversation, eating Chinese food and drinking a ridiculously sweet/fizzy rosé. Easy to get very mixed up.
Sooooooo apparently Steph Gilmore and her boyf (?) were hanging out with Miley Cyrus and hers. Stephanie is obviously Australian and so is her boyfriend (?) and Miley Cyrus’s boyfriend too. Or maybe Miley’s husband. They might have just got married yesterday (?). His name is Liam Hemsworth and he was in Hunger Games (?) but his brother is more famous because he is Thor.
In any case, Australian! And the four (?) of them went out to Soho House in Hollywood with the handsome man whose conversation I was listening to and another talented man and started hammering on some tequila (?) shots. The handsome man actually was the one who suggested doing tequila shots and he was concerned that it might be too gauche (?) for Steph but she was way hyped and threw them down bam bam bam.
The night took this turn and that turn and the four (Steph, boyf (?), Miley, husband (?)) got separated from the two (handsome man, talented man) but they all found each other again and, when they did, the handsome man says that Stephanie Gilmore picked up a cupcake and threw it right at Miley Cyrus’s boob.
Her boob!
Six-time world champ Steph Gilmore!
Throwing boob cakes!
It was unclear if Steph was angry with Miley or joking with Miley or if Miley liked the boob cake or if she didn’t.
It was, anyhow, at this point where I interjected to ask, “Was it sexy?”
That, I’m afraid, was also unclear.
You are making fun of Steph. Sir! I am afraid I must challenge you to a Duel.
Steph for team FACT.
Last two lines are pure gold.
We assume Miley and Liam got married.
Here’s the scenario.
After the tequila shots, someone at some stage decided, Miley and Liam got married, we need a fkn cake! This led to a cake mission which led to cupcakes being located.
The origin of the wedding cake tradition is throwing cake over the bride to ensure a productive union. Therefore, it’s obvious. Steph threw the cupcake at Miley to ensure Miley’s fertility.
Came to cry foul for clickbait. Leaving confused. I’ll show myself out.
BG is now TMZ?
W…T…F???
Hasn’t it always been? Only difference is the occasional flash of brilliance.
Chaz goes from being invited to wonderfull events with tom curren, and instead hangs out in front of the Chinese theater wasted on tequila and confusing street performers with pro surfers, and whatever that tongue with legs miley is. That was elmo dude not helmsworth.
I totally dropped the ball on that Tom Curren event! Shame! Shame on me! But it did end me where the place I got this story…which was waaay better!
What one of the greatest surfers of all time is doing riding a skimboard has only one home: The Inertia.
Really Tom, a skimboard? It’s like one notch below JOB on a soft top.
It’s like Earnhart in a Toyota. Jordan in Crocks.
If it’s a money thing, I know a few guys.
Let’s crowd fund @: get tom a surfboard
What you’ve just published is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent ‘article’ were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on this website is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
I liked it.
Ha! I was running this dialog over in my mind as I wrote!
Re-read the article with the following characters re-characterized, and it may begin to make sense:
Steph Gilmore = Chas Smith
Steph’s Australian BF = Derek Reilly
Miley Cyrus = Rory Parker
Miley’s husband(?) = Rory’s wife (inconsequential to the story anyways)