Your second favorite Venice-adjacent website needs help!
Stab magazine, next door neighbors to mountain bike blog The Inertia in beautiful Venice-adjacent, is doing a survey to improve your experience and YOU can win a new surfboard if you take it! Should we do it together? I’ll give the surfboard if you help me (in the comments) and I win.
Ok?
OK!
Question 1: WHOSE SURFING DO YOU ADORE MOST? (Choose your top three)
Alex Grey
Beau Foster
Brendon Gibbens
Brett Simpson
Bryce Young
Cam Richards
Chippa Wilson
Son of a bitch. Stab literally just listed every “professional” surfer alive. Except Gerry Lopez. Oh wait… never mind. He’s there too. So I guess just write Wiggolly Dantas, Ian Cairns and Eddie Rothman in and let’s move on to question 2.
2. WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE FEMALE SURFER?
Same damned thing. All the girls. Ever. With Lisa Andersen’s last name spelled “Anderson” and favorite spelled “favourite” even though Stab now calls Venice-adjacent home. What the hell is this? Some kind of joke?
And that’s it. Those are the only two questions in this survey. What the hell is this Sam McIntosh? Why are you doing this to me? Is this some kind of weird psychological thing? A SurfStitch initiative? Are you going to use this information to sell more socks? More FCS anti-shark leashes?
Tell me!
Please!
They also listed Laird Hamilton as “Laid” Hamilton. I’m sure that guy’s plowed every poon from Hanalei to Paradise Cove so maybe it’s just a jedi mind trick
They already have my email through dicksucks so what do I have to loose. I love free shit! Beach Grit should step up.
the real question is whose dick does stab love sucking the most?
Favourite basher of women?
1) Chris Ward
2) Chris Ward
Wouldnt take a stab survey at gunpoint.
I bet my left nut you would.
Haha I wish there were only 2 questions!! Keep clicking mate there are over 50 fucking tedious questions!! It took me fuckin ages to do this survey. If i dont win a board stab can get fucked forever.
Favourite is spelt favourite.
God damn Seppos…
How do i upvoted this 10 times??
Umm, no Zoltan Torkos AKA “The Magician”?
The most controversial man in surfing?!
Droid made the list, but Jihad Khodr, Drew Courtney, Royden Bryson, Tim Boal, Neco Padaratz, and Tom Brady didn’t? Fuck that.
Don’t tell me Ford Archbold is on there…
Question 3: Who is your favourite heroin addict?
1) Ford Archibold
2) Andrew Doheny
I like Andrew! He’s nice and dorky, even if he can’t do airs.
But neither of them are cool enough for heroin.
You need to keep clicking – you missed probing questions like; ” Your preferred brand when buying chinos? (Choose your top three)”
Is Chino a Mexican cartel ?
alpa chino, the rapper…
I think chinos are pants but I honestly don’t know.
1. The one having the most fun/blow obviously.
2. The one having the most fun/blow obviously.