Two panthers of the surf mag game say no to male, white corporate oppression!

Just in: Surfer, Stab join WSL boycott!

And maybe Surfline too!

World tour stop number nine, the Quiksilver Pro France, officially kicks off tomorrow and the people raise day old baguettes and chipped glasses of room temperature Louis Latour Chateau Corton Grancey Grand Cru to the crisp blue sky. Et Voila! Oui oui bonsoir! Huhuhuhu!

I bought a pair of new Louis Vuitton moccasins to celebrate. They are the most lovely peach hue and very supple. Perfect for treading where Cesar Chavez once trod while demanding rights for the abused migrant grape pickers. Right around the fertile lands of greater Lemoore, California.

And on this note, I have news to report about the upcoming People’s Boycott of Final’s Day France. You remember, of course, that like Cesar Chavez, I am taking your troubles upon my shoulders. That the bourgeoisie World Surf League shut you out of Kelly’s Surf Ranch. That inside the cattle-themed exclusive surf pool the elites toasted Michelob Ultra and mocked you.

Mocked you.

While you sat at home trying to discern what was happening through Kanoa Igarashi’s little brother’s Instagram feed.

Kanoa Igarashi’s little brother’s Instagram feed.

The very depths of mockery.

Well, like Cesar Chavez, I am demanding your rights. I am demanding that you be treated with dignity and respect. I am demanding that your attention is not to be taken for granted. I am demanding that the World Surf League bends its ear to you, the people. Begging for your forgiveness. Offering free “It’s On” pocket tees on a first come, first served basis and never shutting you out of a surf event again.

And the only thing power listens to is power. So the surf media is locking arms and boycotting the final’s day of the Quiksilver Pro France. Oh how the World Surf League will weep when they realize that the only people who care about professional surfing are the surfers themselves. Oh how it will balance the scales and put you back where you belong.

Stab is for sure in. The most iconic publication in our world, Surfer, is in too. Surfline sounds like they are very much in. Marcus Sanders, editorial director and the most important surf journalist in today’s game, wrote, “You’re a rascal, Chas Smith. Incorrigible.”

Incorrigible like Cesar Chavez.

And Malcom X.

Oh don’t build a statue for me yet. But if you want to get a design going I think Damien Hirst would do a very good job.

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Snake
Snake
8 years ago

I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed a comment section rally such wit, snark, and image material in fell swoop. Bravo.

Andy
Andy
8 years ago

Huh ? Who cares about wave pools. They look sad. The pros surfing it made surfing seem very dull indeed. There will never be a competition in one cause no one will watch zzzzzzzz…What’s the protest about again ? Journos being left out of a PR dull pro surfing event miles inland. Are you serious ? Put efforts into saving the environment and oceans instead – time better spent. Oh gee, maybe this whole thing is satire -possibly over my head.

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
8 years ago

The micki dora is not buying it. I’m buying it though, cause I’m the people. Dora isn’t the people, never has been, never will be.

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago

Perhaps along the lines of Damien Hirst’s “Mother and Child ( Divided)” with your body and the WSL trophy sliced in two, or a portrait inspired by Jacques Louis David’s The Death of Marat or L’Homme qui marche I ,by the Swiss artist Alberto Giacometti.I would have preferred Caravaggio’s St Matthew and Angel but his calf muscles were way to affluent.

Goodbye Horses
Goodbye Horses
8 years ago

It won’t be long before Birmingham Dr is renamed Chas Smith BLVD.

pubes
pubes
8 years ago
ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

I keep seeing this as them on all fours and its doing my mind

Otto
Otto
8 years ago

Mock a sins. World Sans Loafers.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
8 years ago

I will never feel like a fuckwit for forking out $500 for RM Williams ever again.
Practical, look good and hard wearing as opposed to….loafy moccasins.

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

At least its old. A 2018 model would be out of touch

ricmatic
ricmatic
8 years ago

Would it undermine our cause if we made round 4 the final?

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

Wait. Is that not the final?

throwing disqus
throwing disqus
8 years ago

Don’t let the wsl teardown this monument.

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Tom House
Tom House
8 years ago

i too have concurrent visible abs and lovehandles

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
8 years ago

Your sculpture has already been commissioned… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago

I have tears in my eyes. What does he plaque read?

Karl Von Fanningstadt
Karl Von Fanningstadt
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

“It was all so very businesslike that one watched it fascinated. It was wave-making by machinery, wave-making by applied mathematics. And yet somehow the most matter-of-fact person could not help thinking of the surfers; they were so innocent, they came so very trustingly; and they were so very human in their protests – and so perfectly within their rights! They had done nothing to deserve it; and it was adding insult to injury, as the thing was done here, swinging them up in this cold-blooded, impersonal way, without pretence at apology, without the homage of a tear…
Fuck the WSL.”

James Bickerton
James Bickerton
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Oh mr Smith I was the only pleb who proposed a Hirst or knew that the dumb pommy Git was an elitist bourgeois Grit . So I have decided to piss on your skinny Barton Lynch type ankles.we the people would propose BANKSY or the French graffiti artist Basquiat. Ps nice ankles shit shoes god bless amen

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
8 years ago

Im kinda glad your doing this this year. France is my favorite contest and i had plans to go and shoot photos and video. But i decided to hold on it. Because boycott and all.

Tom
Tom
8 years ago

Chas how the fuck can we take you seriously wearing Luis Vuitton moccasins?? That’s as elitist as “The Ranch” – would cost me a weeks wages!!

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Depends on where he bought them. LV is on of the most counterfitted brands in the world. So good fakes would totally be “of the people”

Tom
Tom
8 years ago

But driving his Porsche – cant see him getting fakes unless his Porsche is kit car, and actually a Hyundai with a body kit

Anthony Arturo Leone
Anthony Arturo Leone
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Depends on the porsche he drives. Carreras, 718s, panameras, and cayennes dont count as real porsches they are just bourgeois volkswagens

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom

The shoes of the people! Purchased at the Wynn in Las Vegas for full pop. So people! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Tom
Tom
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

As long as you pair them with a “Its on” T-shirt them I am sold and you back “for the people”

david
david
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

” The People” most definitely wear Mochies in Aus, usually in black sheepskin , purchased at any reputable petrol (gas) station

Tom House
Tom House
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

fuck, those are gorgeous

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
8 years ago
Reply to  Tom House

You never fail to surprise me, T-House.

Tom House
Tom House
8 years ago

It’s an objective fact those are beautiful mocs. I can’t help it. It’s not up to me!

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I hated you for a moment but then spied the photo caption.
Fuck.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
8 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

“Tell ’em how it is. Yeeeeeeah.”

J H
J H
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Full price? Chas, Chas, Chas! Even my Chanel mentor always told me…wait…everything goes on sales eventually.

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago
Reply to  J H

My grandmother’s dying words, “never pay full retail…”

J H
J H
8 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

YES!!!

Otto
Otto
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Do you meticulously tie the leather laces so that the loops are the People™ equal, or do they just come like that?

janeausten
janeausten
8 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Nice tiles, are you dancing on a wall in Lisbon?


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