U.S. sends aircraft carrier to South America as hope blossoms for new zestier forever war

"A major escalation of military power in the region."

United States Secretary of War Party Pete Hegseth announced, moments ago, that the military is sending an aircraft carrier to South America. The USS Gerald R. Ford, which has been operating in the Mediterranean, will squeeze through the Strait of Gibraltar, motor across the Atlantic and drop anchor off Venezuela. Its mission to “bolster U.S. capacity to detect, monitor, and disrupt illicit actors and activities that compromise the safety and prosperity of the United States.” 

The Trump administration has wildly ramped up activities, of late, blowing what are described as “drug running boats” out of the sea at record clip.

The tenth was just exploded along with two other boats in the Pacific.

The Associated Press declares the deployment of the aircraft carrier a “major escalation of military power in the region.”

Both Venezuela and Colombia’s presidents have decried the move but fans of forever wars are busily smacking gums. The Middle Eastern forever wars, you see, have lost most of their luster. Low grade, dull, colorless. Uniform and rarely changing rice plus meat-based meals. Hard to appreciate music.

A profound lack of booze.

The prospect of a new forever war blossoming in the land of dulce de lechosa, guasacaca and flaky meat-filled empanadas. Of rum and coke. Of Shakira and Jose Luis “El Puma” Rodriguez is enough to fire the imagination right on up.

Plus a nice 1960s commie nostalgia.

Che Guevara vibes.