Death is in the air that you breathe!
Oh, I don’t want to alarm anyone.
But, panic!
Etc.
From the electric pages of Instagram, Kelly Slater, who is forty-seven years old and the current world number seven, the Mike Stewart of stand-up surfing, you might call him, has been felled by Pig Flu, or H1N1, the very same strain that infected 100 million Americans when it appeared in 2009, hospitalising a million of ’em and killing seventy-five k.
The Champ told his million or so fans his temperature had hit 102 F (39 degrees) last night, which does demonstrate the ferocity of the viral attack given it had to breach the Wim Hof aficionado‘s border wall of superfoods. A fever, of course, and as anyone who’s ever had a kid will tell ya, ain’t necessarily a bad thing. The extra heat kills the bacteria.
And 102 is what a doc would call “intermediate grade.”
Pig flu will make you feel like you’re eating marshmallows laced with razor blades every time you swallow, head gonna thump and your bones will ache as if all the lubricating fluid has been drained.
Sinusitis just means boogers flowing like Wild Turkey at a Virginia baptism.
Will Kelly make it?
Does anybody know of any other sport where the leading world title contender ( jjf) suffers a serious, most likely tittle and possible career ending injury in competition and no one in the sports relevant media reports anything about it ?
I hope Kelly gets over his flu.
I dunno, back when there actually was a surf media we used to report in depth on injuries when they happened, and the surfers involved were always fine with talking about what had happened, they often seemed fascinated by the injury itself and really enjoyed being treated like a sports person, ie the injury taken seriously.
Sometimes almost too much was reported! Think of my lil bro’s arse reaming in Japan for instance, like that was hammered home throughout surf mags and in the mainstream press for that matter. Went on for years! Still brought up in some circles.
In the past 15-20 years though, as they’ve got richer and richer and become surrounded with protective cloaks of management, “friends”, coaches blah blah blah, it’s become well nigh impossible to get at the facts about injuries and a lot of stuff really, unless the protective cloak is OK with it, or you happen to surf a bit with the pro involved and can have an actual conversation.
Look at O, Chas and I both spent quite a bit of time digging to see what actually occurred and the whole incident remains totally obscured. Nobody gave anything up. And the few who did, refused to go on the record, then later completely recanted their scurrilous claims.
What’s amazing is how far pro surfing is off the mainstream sports radar, like almost nobody ever reports on any facet of it. And even the remaining shards of surf media don’t do much, like who goes to events any more as a reporter and finds stuff out? I kinda can’t, I’ve done too much of it in the past and really need to not pay it that much heed for my own sanity, but even if I could, do you think there’s any surf media outlet capable of funding a full time tour reporter? (I can tell you! No! There is not.) I’ve been to one CT this year, I might go to one or two more but I wasn’t in Brazil when JJF re-hurt himself. Neither was Seano, certainly not shearer who, the poor bastard, was up all night watching WSL TV. Which (WSL TV) has overwhelmed all surf media really, and is now the default source of 99% of the surf world’s information about professional surfing. And clearly wants to be 100% of it.
Let’s see if their bite sized news show follows up with some actual news on the state of the current CT leader.
Hello Nick, Thank you for your reply. I’ve had a google now and read the history and indeed your brother has had his share ( more than) of serious injury .
Did he really drop in as much as everyone said he did?
Seems a very different time back than.
I can’t believe people actually paid money to buy a surf magazine!
I’ve never seen one.
When I talk about the sports relevant media I was taking aim at the WSL.
When I’m interested in a contest it’s the only site I look to for context ( I read the noise on here as boring and more fixated on ww2 Russian military and in jokes with other old men references than anything up to date about a contest and its surfers performance ).
Its hard to believe the WSL wouldn’t be talking about and informing the sports supporters about jjf injury.
I can’t think of any other ” modern ” professional sports body that wouldn’t ?
Thanks again for your reply. Now I’ve got do some work and kick drunks out the bar. Things we do for money.
Robnik I’ve got this strange feeling that you’re really Marcus.
Also me with the strange feeling
Can I have his spot at the Lemoore Clown Ranch this week ?
hey kelly rio stop has gone , you mistimed this one…
Does this mean I wont hear 89 World Champ Martin Potter and his catamite Joe Turpel say “the greatest of all time” over and over at J-Bay?
Had to search “catamite”. Excellent use.
It is sometimes a synonym for Puer delicatus, “delicate boy”.
Way to imply Brazil is polluted. Sometimes Kelly’s a total dick!
JJF now Slater, fuck the tour is doomed again.
excuse #56
I think Derek and Chas, in the fairness of openness, should give us the stats on the click bait of a posting with Ke11y in the title relative to others……
*bait
Buried lead/lede. Kelly hospitalised, condition: intermediate plateau.
Lemme guess, Sunny just got out of hospital? This guy…
As long as it is not dengue… that didn’t end well last time
RCJ is on Australian survivor. He’s obese too.
Yeah where is all his good mates and their R U OK moment?
Ross has plenty of good examples to draw from among his friends if he chooses. I think he prefers his own example.
Mate they should give him a medal for having Survived this long . I wouldn’t be surprised if he is immortal ?
good to see he is taking the ” Shaka misappropriation ” thing seriously. it does concern me that replacing the “Shaka” with the “bird” is not the best solution. like staying off coke by using meth.
Funny how it used to be “ Buy me a bottle of spirits and make mine methylated “ yet now , it comes in crystals …. might have been better to stay on the 7 oz of coke with lots of ice … like we all used to guzzle down in beer gardens on holidays when we were kids ..?
I’m honestly surprised that a world champion didn’t get himself a tamiflu jab back a few years ago when this was all over the place.
Anti Vaxer
When I saw the photo I thought he might have gone into an early retirement ( home ) ……. ? His Instagram finger looks strong though …. and The Goat ,just like General Douglas MacArthur, will be dropping this press release in no time ,
“I came through and I shall return.”
Brazil.
The Brazilian storm taking down yanks in and out of the water
It’s in Brazil so it’s technically the “Brazil Raw Sewage Storm.”
Man… I heard from reliable sources, that the JJF had total knee ligament rupture … and he goes to surgery (and that’s will cause him lost the year), or will try to stabilize his knee to save the year… and he’s out of J-Bay…
His contusion was serious, in both cases compromising his year…
Can someone confirm, or have an update from him?
The silence is deafening isn’t it
I understand the silence, and it’s a good thing in this case
JJF has a lot of people talking to him, around him, buzzing in the head!
I still think the contusion is not so simple because it has to do with the stability on your knee…
Let’s see and wait, if he can recover to his best.
He deserves this year
Must be damn near impossible to tell who his friends are, or even know what a real friend is
watching his bros doc series, they seem to have a good group around them. Seems legit but you never know
Ummmmm…. it’s news right? I understand about sunny. But the current yellow jersey holder has a physical injury and no one will speculate about it? Far out. In football they tell you the results of the scans before the game is over!!
Yep , it’s not a mystery , we all saw it live in a heat . Funnily enough if you get attacked by a shark in a heat gunning for a world title , you get mobbed by the press but if you twist your knee wearing the yellow jersey , the press is non existent … ? Professional Surfing really does still act like a Circus instead of a Sport … ?
I think in other sports press / midias are more investigative and invasive.
Surf it’s not that popular to holds the great midia attention, even about KS (of course comparing with Lebron, Curry, Hamilton, Vettel… and others)
Our press and midia are small and very conservative, protectionist , corporativist in certain terms…
It’s not the first time we don’t have speculations or facts about our sport world
So Kolohe or Phil’s world title will be asterisked. Not a double asterisk ala CJ, but * nonetheless.
I think more about Jordy and Kolohe
I dont think Italo or Fil (not now) comes to the title…
Can kolohe win the world title before he wins an event? Imagine
Or it might be the drop of blood in the water Gabs needs to get back into prehistoric killer mode.
So what, you asterisk the title whenever someone who’s got a strong but no means unassailable at the mid-point get’s injured? Like winning the title’s got nothing to do with the body’s ability to withstand the rigors of a full campaign.
Point well taken. Actually after I posted the above I has similar thoughts.
Eeekkk I hope not! Reliable sources (Beachgrit) had JJF not surfing the goldy so let’s see
ST really reliables (in my case), but let’s see, but I hope this not happen
Kelly might just qualify for the Olympics this year. Ben Marcus will be happy.
Yeah I tried to break it to Derek this morning, but he wasn’t listening. They’re asleep at the wheel here, like a school bus being driven by the children…
Apparently JJ has a snapped ACL, requires a full knee reco, and a looonnngggg stretch out of the water.
But apparently he is contemplating surfing Jbay with the snapped ACL in a knee brace, because he only needs a couple of ok results to lock up the title.
People can function without an ACL… But it’s a grim road to travel
…inneresting, but if he got it fixed now he’d have time for the Tokyo Olympics. I wonder what his priority is?
He still has to qualify ? Kolohe is way ahead of him , JJ might come back and the Coffin Rider ain’t far away . The Olympic movement is probably slightly harder to influence than Slater’s own personal WSL and I have never heard of them giving out injury wildcards ?
He needs to finish top two US surfers. There’s a slim chance he can qualify as 3rd US surfer but I think it requires not enough other nationalities qualifying for the 20 spots available. Or something like that.
Actually if he wanted to be a sneaky cunt he could move himself to Puerto Rico, which is kind of weird as Puerto Ricans are US citizens but get to compete as a separate nation in the olympics.
Hi sup
What caught me by surprise is that after the contusion of JJ in the heat, I thought it was a partial contusion… Not a total rupture (and that is an assumption, mine, by the sources)
His contusion has some similarities to ADS…
The problem is… how you’ll attack the waves, dispute with high level guys if you are not 100% recovered?
And another question, the great advantage of points is a fact, this year is literally, or was, his… but we talk about knees, is it worth risking, burst the body, and risk the life of surfing, in and out the competitions?
OK look I don’t know anything about the state of John’s knee. But you can do stuff with a ruptured anterior cruciate ligament without causing the end of your surfing life. It’s just that the knee is very unstable and will continue to buckle under even slight pressure from some angles (not all). It really affects your confidence in movement. Any athlete in a contact sport or running sport would have the surgery immediately just to get it out of the way and recover; the recovery is not all that lengthy though if J had it now it’d take him out for the remainder of 2019 except maybe for Pipe.
Agree Nick!
But J-bay, Tchopo (high pressure with volumes of water)… are tough and difficult waves.
I think J-Bay maybe even worst, because of power mix with sucessive maneuvers
Not counting French beach break, and Peniche
The road is very hard.
JJ surf it’s not based only in carve and barrels, he’s progressive, and needs to be.
But every time you do your job / sport without recovery (and when surgery it’s required), and again, by what I heard about, your knee is going to space…
If this is the case, I can’t see any sense in try something so hard for one year, when you have a life with a long carreer as competitor or free surfer, without the correct intervention.
Well what can we say, again I don’t know the scope of John’s injury.
If I ruptured my anterior cruciate I’d have the surgery as soon as possible just to get it over with.
Where’d you hear that super worm?
No comment.
But isn’t the question, is it accurate? Or how accurate? Where there’s smoke…
And meanwhile the founders of this ultra hard surf blog are serving up weak feel-good-Inertia articles, distancing from the unspoken topic like a case of dengue fever.
I noticed you broached the subject on Coastalwatch yesterday Nick, well done, we know how safe and middle of the road they are.
The world #1 pulls a Kaiser Sose,
again, the world title hangs uncertain as the top 10 grapple defeat from the hands of victory.
And the health, wellbeing and career of the current world #1 and everyone’s favourite surfer is redacted.
Not a single article? Must be some leverage being pulled
hey mate see reply to Edward what’s his name below.
Thanks Nick, nice detailed explanation on behalf of you and Sean as journalists.
It doesn’t really satisfy why one of these rumour websites haven’t posted a headline on the topic though!
There’s more chatter in the comments and I’m surprised they aren’t reading and getting ahead of it.
Even put what you wrote into an article titled “Why We Don’t Have Any News About JJF Injury For You” lol
Ha ha well your inside info was right on, JJF is cooked. Gonna have surgery on the ruptured ACL ASAP. Good night 2019 world title.
Verified by Instagram, safe to headline 😜
Can confirm, I was a sports pre-med major for two years and you can go about regular forward/backward walking motion fine without an ACL but the twisting is when your knee gets all fucked up and feels “loose” which is where the brace would come in to help. it sucks but its doable
Thanks K!
are you talking enema?
Break out the tissues