This is the end, my friend. Etc.
But have you ever been to South Florida? Miami-adjacent? I have but only twice. Once when circumnavigating the entire state for a very important Surfing magazine feature. Can you believe that Surfing magazine was once a thing?
But it was the best thing, edited by the most handsome surf journalist ever Travis Ferre, photo edited by almost equally handsome Peter Taras. Maybe Greek. Maybe not. And, in retrospect, I cannot believe the powers that be chose to shutter Surfing instead of Surfer.
Surfer had the name, the history, but Surfing had the spunk. The features from Florida and so I was there, then, circumnavigating the State, staying at The Standard when I was in Miami.
Not recommended, to be honest, but when I was there a few years later I stayed at the Faena and ooooee!
You should too.
Or maybe not.
Miami has no surf, zero surf, but also it was just revealed today that a massive Great White named “Ironbound” is refusing to leave those cocaine-infused waters (buy here) but do you not believe me?
Do you think I’m tossing smoke in order to protect my favorite Miami-adjacent surf breaks?
There is no such thing and I would never do that to you but let’s head together to CNN for the latest on this unseemly incursion.
Tourists and snowbirds aren’t the only ones spending the holidays around South Florida.
A 12-foot, 4-inch long great white shark that researchers have named Ironbound has been tracked to the waters south of Key Biscayne, near Miami.
The adult male shark weighs 998 pounds, according to the group OCEARCH, which tagged and is tracking the shark.
Ironbound was caught and tagged on October 3 off Lunenburg, Nova Scotia, and has traveled 1,473 miles down the US East Coast since then. He’s named after West Ironbound Island, which is near where he was caught.
It’s been a busy week for the shark trackers.
OCEARCH said that seven of its tagged sharks have pinged with their location in recent days.
And you don’t want to learn any more. You shouldn’t. It’s the official end of our species but happy New Year, I guess?
If you haven’t been eaten?
Stop surfing now.
It’s all over.