Bigger than Coronavirus: FCS releases “dazzling, stupendous, better-than-sex” new fin that Nick Carroll declares “gets you high!”

INCREDIBLE!

Forget about pandemics. Forget about cancellations, deaths, Great White Shark attacks and SeaWorld trainers crushing the spines of baby Killer Whales, a wobbly stock market, Kelly Slater, abundances of caution, toilet paper, Donald J. Trump sending you $2000 (if you happen to be an American), millennials and their war against boomers, Kanoa Igarashi.

FCS has released a new fin and acceptable, respected surf media has lost its collective mind.

In one day, headlines across august publications were synched and screamed, using a font size not seen since Laird Hamilton towed Teahupoo.

Magic Seaweed: “Testing the world’s smartest fin.”

Stab: “FCS Just Released The Most Premium Progressive Fins Of The Last Decade

CoastalWatch: “Tested: FCS’s New H4 Fin Set Is Scary Good.”

Surfline: Nick Carroll Tests FCS’s New H4 Fin Set And he finds the space fighter smart fin…scary good

But can it be true? Is it possible that a fin could be so incredible, so wonderful that every important surf media bumped every other bit of planned editorial in order to celebrate?

We must turn to Nick Carroll himself, who found the time to write three of the above four stories at over 8,000 words each.

The H4 is another thing. At first look you’d think you’d got hold of the wings off some sorta hi-tech mini Space Fighter. The fins are a deep grey verging on black, with a super-fine grooved finish that shimmers slightly in a certain light, like a vinyl record surface. Moulding is super precise, with fine edges and no spare flesh anywhere.

As with other H-series products, the fin design is distinctive. The side fin has a conventional leading edge template and a less conventional trailing edge, which cuts short and up at the tip, hatchet-style. The foil follows the trailing edge, creating a slight ridge on the outer surface of the fin where it tapers into the hatchet. The inside face is dead flat, and all the edges are sharp and tight. Like I said, very precise.

The rear fin begins conventionally enough at the base, with a curve in both leading and trailing edges, but just a couple of cms up, the whole fin tilts back and the template lines straighten, tapering into a football-ey tip.

I know you can see all this in the graphics, but you won’t quite be able to pick that ridge running back to the hatchet, nor maybe absorb the hard precision of it all. The fin materials are also highly precise and “built”, with a shell of unidirectional carbon tape containing an injected composite core, which produces an extremely quick-flex, tight fin that’s also very light.

I was high on them pretty much immediately.

Now I understand. A fin that makes a person high.

H4 + Surfing: A love story (buy here).

But do you remember the day that SurfStitch purchased Magic Seaweed, Stab and FCS but then uh oh?

Simpler times.

Vissla Made For Beach Grit
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channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago

Whooof that looks cold.

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
MaxNeoprene
MaxNeoprene
6 years ago

Amerika fuck yeah!!! Drumpf Bucks. !!!

Owen Wright's Brains
Owen Wright's Brains
6 years ago

nick carroll whoring himself out for the surf companies….what else is new?

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago

Show me a (real) surf company to whom I can whore myself out to, and I’ll do it also, thanks

beachgrit
beachgrit
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Oh me too!

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Any companies will do fine for me. I need to up my whoring myself out game.

Z Knows
Z Knows
6 years ago

Tried the fins – it was good

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

fins are bullshit. Like Jiu Jitsui.

DavidC
DavidC
6 years ago

Yeah, but do they work backwards?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago

I’ve got a runny nose

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago

give us a kiss

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago

My boards are old / kooky enough to not have any futures or FCS2 boxes.

I do have a $5 booger I picked up for the kids at the markets. I reckon if I use the sharper end of the fins I could sorta bash a slit in the base of the sponge and then ram all $150 worth into those. Should do, eh?

I’m planning on skulking down to the water again soon, so that’ll be an appropriate start to my recovery as a potential World Champion contender.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago

Nickelarse Carrot writes for three mags ? Really ?
He writes “scary good” ? Twice ?
Is there anywhere in the reviews that he says what they feel like in the water, and not just what they look like on land?
How much does FCS pay him ?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

1. I write for everybody!!
2. No I did not. Don’t always write the taglines.
3. Yes, see below, it’s a bit long because I really like surfing and sometimes overthink it.
4. Nothing. Well the fin set I guess.

3. The boards I used: a 6’9” Jim Banks custom pintail, a 6’1” Eye Symmetry Leaf model, and a 5’91/2” Webber Creature. All wildly different craft, with one thing in common, I’d battled to find a magic fin set for any of ‘em. Different reasons: the Banksy wanted to be a quad and I wanted it to be a thruster, the narrow-tailed Leaf’s fin set is an inch further forward than most thrusters, and the Creature’s reaction time is a bit quick for most fin sets.

Conditions varied from 6-8’ reef/beachies (Bansky), 3-6’ beachies (the Leaf) and 3-5’ beachies and sand point surf (Creature).

Here’s what I got:

An “invisible” feel. This I always identify with a good fin set — when you can’t feel the fin set dragging, when you only feel the fins in turning pressure when they’re fully engaged. When you’re not pressuring them, they’re not there.

Very fast reactions. No resistance to the start of a turn, no hang-ups in a turn’s mid-section or finish. Recoveries clean and simple. All that stuff happened with great speed and snap and with no delay. This I felt was also good, I hate fin delay. I really felt this most when riding the Creature, which is made to turn at speed, and turn quick, without hesitation. The H4s let it do its thing and added a tiny zingy feel here and there, as the materials released the flex.

Not even a lil bit of slide. This was especially obvious in the Leaf, whose forward fin set-up had often caught me out. Having a forward set on a shorter board is a kind of battle. Pressure on the tail area behind the back fin can lead to slide, and had done so a few times, despite me sticking in bigger back fins and all that jazz. Nothing quite seemed to fit, but the H4s just clicked with the board, bringing out its inner fast-twitchiness and somehow defeating that tendency to slide. This might just be a fluke via the back fin being tilted back from the base more than your average, but whatever. It worked.

Consistency across all these boards. With the Leaf and Creature especially, the H4’s best quality seemed to be getting out of the way and allowing the board’s own better qualities to come forward. The fin set didn’t quite fit the Banksy as well as the other two, the board felt a bit too chunky for the set, but it didn’t wig out at all.

A slight high pitched whistle at speed. I got this once or twice, both on the Banksy (on a solid 8’ wave going fast into the wave base) and on the Webber (a savage lil board that sometimes gains speed from almost nowhere, like a Tesla). I think the whistle was coming from the frontside side fin in each case. It wasn’t a hum, there was no vibration as such, more a whine or hiss, like a big knife swung hard through air. Maybe the acute front edge and zero-give inside flat was responsible.

A week and a half of persistent use led to some slight scuffing on the fin surfaces, but it rubbed off quickly and the fins were back to their scary Space Jet finish. No other wear and tear.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Good as gold, the whistle sounds interesting (in an undesirable way) though…
Thanks for the report here, so now there’s no need to go looking at those other sites.
Cheers

(Can ya put a photo of them here too so also no need to look at their adverts ?)

janeausten
janeausten
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Yeah…that whistle is a big deal breaker for me, but not always the fin’s fault in my experience. In fact, I recall having a banksy many many years ago that whistled, so maybe …

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

My arse whistles occasionally, but there’s not much I can do to swap that out for another model.

Speaking of which, I made up little poem while cycling home the other day:

There was young turtle,
Named Yurtle,
Who’s favourite flower
was a myrtle.
He decided one day,
to eat one,
and hey!
Out of his bum came a,
“FFFFFFffffffuuuuuuuurtle“.

Thank you for your time.

janeausten
janeausten
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

CB, us adults are having a nice conversation here about important things, can you please just go and play with your toys!

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

Sorry Dad.
(sulks off and kicks dog)

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Why are people so mean to you?

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

I’m an easy target online.

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

I’ve been reading you for years. Keep it up and go make some guilt free $$$ while you’re at it!

beachgrit
beachgrit
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

I would say Nick gets his usual piece-rate while masters scoop cream.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

You’re a good sport about it though man. You face us down on here day in and out. Wiggs loves ya too, I’m sure of it!

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Is that cuz of yer shiny bald head?
(me too)

beachgrit
beachgrit
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Not so easy to attack the world’s greatest authority on surfing in person. Phenomenal memory and impressive, physically, in his English-style shorts and too-tight tank tops.

Owen Wright's Brains
Owen Wright's Brains
6 years ago
Reply to  beachgrit

hahahaha. no.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  ricmatic

I was very pleased to have clarification that he wasn’t the one who wrote “scary good” and receive a good explanation about the fins without looking at those other sites…

beachgrit
beachgrit
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

To clarify, although no one said so, it was a sponsored post on Surfline, Magic Seaweed, Stab and Coastalwatch. Obviously, we’re sore we didn’t get a ladleful of that particular gravy.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  beachgrit

Hhmmm
Can’t ya hold ’em to ransom and say you aren’t prepared to mention their new products on this site full of respectable (and respectful) big spenders unless they give you a kickback and also some product to distribute to your readership as spotprizes ?

beachgrit
beachgrit
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Only Futures boxes around here.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  beachgrit

Oh
Bummer, I guess

beachgrit
beachgrit
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

No, no, very happy etc. Official fin box of BeachGrit. (Sorta paid sponsored post.)

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  beachgrit

One day I will buy some.

Twinnie
Twinnie
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

you don’t get the relentless futures pop up ad every time you blink on this site?

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  Twinnie

I probably do but actually never read any of the ads at all, I know they’re about to popup so just look for the little X in the corner and push immediately before I see what they’re for and then glance at the TV for ten or so seconds and when I look back they’ve gone. You should try that technique…

Doobalachy
Doobalachy
6 years ago

Where there is hope there is a new Fin design

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
6 years ago

What, the youth of today are demonstrably rejecting older generations’ values and systems?
This is a truly shocking and never-seen-before moment in history.

Otto
Otto
6 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

What are the values and systems of the youth of today?

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Whatever they are, I’m shaking my head at them and grumbling under my breath. Damn kids. In my day…

Kook Kahanamoku
Kook Kahanamoku
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

“Fuck off, let us do drugs if we wanna!”

Oh wait, that ain’t new. (Buy Here!)

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

Lets be real here… how many of (Nick would qualify in my criteria) us surf at a level where fins – other than say size or set up, thruster, twin, single etc actually make much of a difference. I just got a board with Futures plugs and have always used FCS, so had to buy a new pack and honestly cant tell much of a difference.

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
6 years ago

You must be a real kook if you can’t even feel the difference between your fin models. I switch between the supplied fin and my Boost motorised fin on my Wavestorm all the time and I can always feel which one I’m rocking without even looking.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

ha! Indeed I am. I surf the fin design intricacies

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
6 years ago

I surf the fin display/storage unit

MaxNeoprene
MaxNeoprene
6 years ago
Reply to  Jordy's pout

My mega-‘Merican Trump schlong would get caught in a Boost fin. So no good.

Lemon Next to the Pie
Lemon Next to the Pie
6 years ago

I haven’t done enough resaarch on different models of fins, but I do know there is a difference between materials. Bought a set of cheapish fins that were softer and flexier than the ones I had been using. Horrible. Gave them away. Now I tend to trust my shapers instincts and go with the set he shapes the board for.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

For sure. I didn’t specify what fins when I ordered so just went and bought the recommended Futures after picking it up. Tbh, I was keen to try as everyone seems to rave about em. They aint bad by any means, just not much different to FCS for me. I learnt years ago with any surf related shit, or even by extension cloths, shades, tech, bike stuff, whatever really, if you buy cheap normally you are just cheating yourself out a better experience.

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago

Everyone needs a Mincekit.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom
channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago

I’m hungry now.

Mild mannered civil servant
Mild mannered civil servant
6 years ago

I bought a set yesterday in consolation for my Indo trip all but being effectively cancelled. I haven’t surfed them yet but I promise a honest review. To Nick’s comment on the moulding — for the most part true though the trailing edge on one of my side fins has a rectangular notch out of it where the unidirectional carbon fibre appears to not have been set properly.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago

Take ’em back I say. That’s a lot of money to pay for a defective product.

Mild mannered civil servant
Mild mannered civil servant
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Well I didn’t exactly pay full price for them and I’m pretty certain I won’t notice a diference in performance of the fin from the 1mm long by 0.05mm segment missing… I mean it’s not like it’s going to effect my calculations for knifing under the lip, like a Gath would…

janeausten
janeausten
6 years ago

Shoplifters of the world, unite and take over!

Stu Azole
Stu Azole
6 years ago

Who cares! Tulsi is out and I can finally read beach grit without wanting to vomit over their political views.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
6 years ago

how many times do you think he Leo intentionally fucked up the take so they had to shoot it again?

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
6 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

Is he trying to blow coke up someone’s ass?

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago

Leo blow’n all the blow!!

Twinnie
Twinnie
6 years ago

They say a picture tells a thousand words.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
6 years ago
Reply to  Twinnie

certainly saves me from reading the dribble underneath it.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago

I might get Nick to write my obituary.
He can certainly polish a turd.

Phat-wan kerr
Phat-wan kerr
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

you can’t polish a turd negs, they are not hard enough. best you can hope for is letting it dry out then coating with some lacquer.

madmaxmedia
madmaxmedia
6 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

Nick can certainly desiccate and lacquer a turd. How’s that?

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
6 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

Untrue though actually
Years ago on Mythbusters they proved it possible through heat and compression to form the turd into a type of ‘rock’ similar to a poolball which was then hard and dense enough to be polished.
Quite fascinating really…

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Look me shirts them a-tear up, trousers are gone
I don’t want to end up like Bonnie and Clyde
Poor me coprolites

janeausten
janeausten
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

…on that subject, I wonder why Peter Tosh’s chose that as his stage name over Winston Hubert McIntosh?

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

Was he from a wealthy family and slumming it to be cool?

janeausten
janeausten
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Legit dirt poor trenchtown homie according to Wikipedia..
” He was abandoned by his parents and “shuffled among relatives”

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

‘Winston’ is legit.

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  Phat-wan kerr

What about glitter?

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Cocaine will make it expensive shit.

Mild mannered civil servant
Mild mannered civil servant
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I could do it in three words… “Harsh, but fair”.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
6 years ago

And a bit of a snarky weasle at times to be fair.

Mild mannered civil servant
Mild mannered civil servant
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I feel that could be encapsulated in ‘Harsh’.

Nick Carroll
Nick Carroll
6 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Negs aren’t you a plumber?

I could just write that. “Here lies a plumber.”

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

To this day my life could be summed up as rather worthless, meaningless etc…. but there is now way your envy-riddled vocabulary is having the final word on my ending.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

I have a plumber mate who can’t even rig up a decent bong. That should be noted on his tombstone.

janeausten
janeausten
6 years ago
Reply to  Nick Carroll

Fuck, all Plumbers Lie, alive or dead.
“oh no, you’ll need the whole unit replaced, we couldn’t possibly fix that leak by tightening a washer..”

Juan Juan Flores
Juan Juan Flores
6 years ago

Test them backwards and ill buy em.

samwaters
samwaters
6 years ago

Yes, didn’t they just have a test recently where surfers put their fins in backwards and rode their boards, seemed to work Ok.

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  samwaters

I think you’re on drugs mate.
No idea what you are on about.
You must be hallucinating. No one would be that dumb.

samwaters
samwaters
6 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

https://www.youtube.com/wat… think this is the right one.

channelbottom
channelbottom
6 years ago
Reply to  samwaters

All I see is an advert for the Billabong x Metallica shorts which open automatically in the water when you need a poo, while playing an 8-bit chiptune version of ‘The Four Horsemen’.

Otto
Otto
6 years ago

What the fuck is the matter with Bilbo Goggans and this “…Of The Last Decade” cliche schtick he keeps graffiti sharting onto the walls of Stab. That fuckwit is going to ruin what Derek made just because Beach Grit was made even better, better and higher like a FCS H4.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

This is Bilbo’s decade, we’re just passing through!

Arn Anderson
Arn Anderson
6 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Can I get credit for the phrase “Bilbo Goggans”? I’m 99% sure I created it. But then again, I once told a woman I coined the phrase “Pardon my French”, so maybe I’m just an unreliable silly bitch.

ricmatic
ricmatic
6 years ago
Reply to  Arn Anderson

Remember that episode of Curb when Richard Lewis claimed “From Hell?”
Gold (en)

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
6 years ago
Reply to  Arn Anderson

I’m sorry! From now on he shall be known as Arn Anderson’s Bilbo Goggans.

Arn Anderson
Arn Anderson
6 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

He’s got quite a journey ahead of him. Fraught with all the evils of middle earth. Better bring the beanie.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
6 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Given how the 20’s are going so far.. He can have it!

Yesterday's hero
Yesterday's hero
6 years ago
Reply to  Otto

Long live the Derek days and to hell with the Bilbo!


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