A passion for photography meets accoutrements of death.
A Gold Coast funeral company has released a series of wave-themed coffins, including a “Waves of Snapper Rocks” and “Snapper Rock Sunrise” casket, the catalogue also including a Burleigh Heads and a Byron Bay model.
Keen photographer and undertaker Mark Hobson, who is a part-owner of the family biz A Gentle Touch Funerals, has married a passion for photography with the accoutrements of death, coffins and urns built to hold the cindered remains of loved ones, as well as unloved ones, I suppose.
“Snapper is the home and backyard playground too (sic) many aspiring young surfers from today’s grommets to the current World Surfing Champions. The Roxy Pro World Surfing Titles has put Snapper Rock on the world stage, show casing our magnificent beaches, surfing and our laid back lifestyle.”
The wave on the box doesn’t look like Snapper to me, but what do I know?
And, is there any only one Snapper Rock?
Or is it plural?
The price of the colourful coffin is undisclosed although the urn will cost $A489.
I often reflect on the manner of my death and the funeral that might follow.
As a child, fearing burial while still alive, little fingernails tearing at the mahogany lid, breath becoming more laboured as the available oxygen evaporates, face frozen in a mask of terror at moment of death, I requested that my parents stuff my corpse into a box, drive to a quarry and dynamite me.
Or, and at the very least, arrange for a safety coffin to be built.
Now, I lean towards a burial at sea.
The body is anointed in oils with pleasing vanilla aromas, wrapped in an off-white cotton shroud before being shoved over the side a few clicks out to sea, where I might be eaten by sea creatures, animals whose descendants often filled my own plate.
Seems like a good way to…. wave goodbye….
Fill my corpse with explosives that detonate on contact and troll my body through any of the new Great White hotspots. I’d be happy to do my part to instill a fear of attacking humans in those bitey boys.
I am still saving to pay for my Derek Riley eulogy. I would hate to be a few dollars short and have to settle for one penned by Charlie Smith.
At least he’d bake you a cake.
I’ve allrady signed up with Sydney Uni for med students to cut me up.
My mum has too, bro and sis not too keen
Sarcophagi of the Bogan pharoahs?
It’s the coffin in which you bury people who display glassware like this:
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Disclaimer: I have bought this exact souvenir for friends and family.
I’d like to be flayed and my skin made into bespoke phone cases to be given out to all the BG regulars so you can remember me when dishing out some online snark.
Before or after death?
Well. Now that you ask. Fuck it. Just go ahead and do it now.
Will Chas be buried with his mid length?
I’d imagine it’ll be with a mountain of unsold books.
He could shred them and just crawl inside to die in a giant hamster nest I suppose. That’d be alright.
Back in school – im sure a fellow student whose parents owned funeral business said the 5-10K plus coffins were fucking replaced by cardboard boxes to cremate – or if bullshit then am sure doing.
You go in choose some fucking 20K casket – 100% you would never know on the day if is just a fucking veneer
Slater could dip his toes in the water with the ‘waves of Lemoore’ casket, if for nothing else but to launch another business into certain destined failure
I’d be quite happy being left out for actual vultures to peck apart, but my family’s bank account will be pillaged by funeral biz vultures before my body is even cold. They’re almost as despicable as politicians.
I’ll stick to my Newcastle Knights coffin, thanks.
Thought of a good name for a funeral home the other day actually.
‘Above and Beyond’ Funeral Homes.
It’s a great business to get into, undertaking. Never gonna run out of customers, and if you do we’re all fucked anyway.
Yeah, until that guy from Phantasm catches wind that your moving in on his biz and sends a demonic mechanical orb to drill your skull
32 years
1 and half titles.
No minor premierships
4 wooden spoons
Youre easily pleased
That’s fucken cruel, mate.
Below the belt.
2011 GF
Manly 24
Kiwis 10
Beat a whole fuken country
Ha – they call them the NZ warriors but they’re not.
They’re the Auckland worriers. That was their first name but they changed it so that they could sell more merch.
They also got MR ,and 4 world titles , Australian Boardriders Club Champs ( latest in 2019 ) and Matt Hoy’s son plays for them .
Not to mention it’s straight up God’s country!
Bicks thinks its all a random fluke so that won’t impress him
Turns into hell on earth come party night on the mean streets of Hunter and King. And you damn sure don’t wanna be caught slipp’n anywhere around Isso or worse.. in the burbs.
Once tried to sleep in the carpark after a night out at the old Fanny’s night club (?)in the 80s during the old Mattara comp which got replaced by Surfest and some car decided to just bump into us ( for about 5 minutes ) just for the heck of it but another time , I locked the keys in the car at a state titles at Dixon Park and the local boys , god love em , had it open before you could say Bar Beach .
Fanny’s has been re-branded to “Argyle House” and it’s rather a dud.
Haha, a little GTA between bank jobs had the skills honed. If you had a few houso types lingering about, I’m surprised it wasn’t on bricks after you came in!
It was a piece of shit blue sigma …. and The blokes , who opened it were competing in the contest ….it was not so rare that competitors ,some of the best , were from tough beach side housing commission neighborhoods at that time .
Absolutely rad!
The housing commission was/is just across from dickson. Plenty of rooms at the inn, maybe not so many now.
Same down at Wollongong … (and the Bra .) . just across the road from good spots .
Na mate
That area is like summer Bay compared to
Lakemba Lakemba
Too true. Can’t say I’ve wandered the mean street of LakLak after dark. But I have in spewy, and it’s like feeding time at the zoo.
Gods’ own Country….why not . Obviously over the last 60000 years the site , on which Newcastle Now Stands, must have been blessed by a multitude of local deities , spirits , gods and saints….. Today ,me thinks that the Artists at the Knights are creating order out of the chaos ……..and I love an underdog .
Geez, make up your mind.
Your into the black gods but not the white ones?
Turn it up.
“ If you’re really in favor of free speech, then you’re in favor of freedom of speech for precisely the views you despise. Otherwise, you’re not in favor of free speech.” Chomsky
Anyway I might change my name to Muhammad Ali …. Now there was a black god ! I do have a spot for St Jude ,the patron Saint of lost causes , and St Francis of Assisi and Thomas is my middle name so doubting St Tom gets a guernsey as well .
Ali was a dickhead.
Signed up for a religion that despises and subjugates women.
And got signed up for one that was happy to have his people enslaved … yin and yang .
Slavery ended 100 years before he’s born. But not for the towel heads wives, still goin for them, I guess he wanted to bring it back, yeah real good bloke.
Got anything else?
He was a boxer , not an educated man like yourself …?
You know , I prefer you when you are cheeky and happy
Here is what Yuval Noah Harari had to say on the subject of happiness
“So perhaps happiness is synchronizing one’s personal delusions of meaning with the prevailing collective delusions. As long as my personal narrative is in line with the narratives of the people around me, I can convince myself that my life is meaningful, and find happiness in that conviction.”
I won’t rest till all women’s hair is blowing in the wind
A noble Quest for our Crusader .Rex Bex …. You might be able to start off small ….. by freeing the hair of the relatively small population of Amish Traditional Christian Women in Pennsylvania .
It won’t happen overnight but it will happen ….
https://youtu.be/7EweM_ILVt4
Noone knows any of those guys
I once met MR , he was dressed for battle in fluoro green , pink and orange and was walking to his heat in a SurfLeague Final at Bondi in the mid 80s and we screamed at him …. MR you are going down , Gibbo’s going to whip your arse …. He smiled knowingly , then laughed , waved then kicked our mate’s butt back all the way to Elouera .
I think I’d rather a plain pine coffin with dicks crudely drawn on it.
A big juicy vagina is the go. The shape already lends itself, and what a grand final resting place
On the tombstone…
“That which he chased all his life…he finally found in death”
Haha so true not to mention poetic.
Knowing my luck , I be buried next to the K#nt , in a sphincter ?
Knowing my luck , I get buried next to the vagina , in a sphincter of my own making … ?
#metoo
Epitaph…”in death as in life”
I’ll go one of these composting mushroom fibre jobs – it looks a bit rough so one could probably ram dick holes into it if the fancy takes them.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
It’s OK if they’re peachy
It’s September sumthin.
You OK?
oddly the local crematorium in this neck of the woods is called snapper rocks
NZ?
chur
This is a winning idea as the bodies stack up in OZ, all 4 of them, I hope he dosent get Corona disease
This is an “In Gods Hands” level piss take on surfing. I love it!
Is that guy going left at Snapper?
The coffin just needs a rockstar sticker to complete the look.
Imagine your friends standing around your coffin at the wake. “Closeout. Yeah that seems apt”.
This is in very bad taste.
I also have an irrational fear of being buried while breathing. That scene from Kill Bill gives me anxiety!
Also, “Buried Alive” were a great hardcore band from the late 90’s/ early naughts
https://youtu.be/52A89zXEpvQ
Being wrapped up tight in an off white cotton shroud bobbing on the ocean while seagulls peck at what they assume are your eyes and sharks circle below as they were attracted by the trail of dripping excrement floating out from your raft would be marginally better, I suppose. Still, you’d be crying out for a flaming arrow to put an end to it all.
A Viking burial befits all us water going folk. Or maybe I’m mistaking it for a game of thrones knock off. Either way, Norse god worshiping.
I guess it’s appropriate for Snapper to have a picture of somebody dropping in down the line on the coffin.