Scientists find coronavirus in samples of beach water for first time!

A nasty biz.

Cancel your surf trip to Minnesota.

Researchers from the University of Minnesota Med School have found traces of found traces of SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes COVID-19, in Lake Superior.

You know the joint.

The scientists have been testing eight beaches along Lake Superior since July, and over the weekend of September 11, traces of the nasty gruel were found at four of the beaches.

The team believes swimmers and surfers carry the virus into the water via faecal matter.

And so, many questions.

The first, is, “carrying the virus into the water via faecal matter” the reaction from local surfers when they see the waves of the Great Lakes? A reflex from visitors to the area upon hearing the mid-west accent or tasting its food?

“People excrete the virus in their faeces, and people deposit faecal matter in lakes,” Amesh Adalja, a senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security told Yahoo Life, adding “People go to the bathroom in lakes.”

Of all the petri dishes in science labs over the world, don’t the stagnant freshwater lakes seem to be the champions of breeding and hosting microorganisms that can cleave your insides in two?

One has to assume the way salt kills certain types of bacteria that ocean water could be the safer of the two.

One thing Great Lake surfers do not have to worry about in terms of coronavirus is maintaining social distancing as the crowds in the water rarely goes over ten peeps.

There is still no scientific evidence that the disease can be transmitted through water, however, so keep swimming in “faecal matter and SARS-CoV-2”, all good etc.


"Isn't it true that the best surfer out there is the one having the most fun?" "Discredited in PHD thesis. Keep digging for panties."

Academic smashes surfing’s most cherished cliche in PHD thesis: “It’s the… best …surfer in the lineup having the most fun!”

Horror news for VALS.

You don’t have to dive too deep into the morass of surf cliches to bump into the hoary ol “the best surfer out there is the one having the most fun” line.

Attributed to Phil Edwards, although he said nothing of the sort, which ain’t surprising, because a surfer like Philly-boy would’ve been deeply aware of the sport’s relentless mind-fucking; a sport that only reveals its secrets to the very young, rendering anyone joining the game after age twelve a life-long kook.

(There is, of course, nothing in this world that is sadder, or more hopelessly encouraged, than the late-in-the-game surfer.)

Now, an Australian academic, Robert Holt, has smashed the long-held, and deeply cherished, cliche in his PHD paper, Cape crusaders: an ethnography investigating the surfing subculture of Cape Naturaliste, Western Australia.

If you’re into the history of surfing in Western Australia, there isn’t a more comprehensive treatment, but it’s this excerpt that shines.

“The twin values my father imparted to me as a young footballer developing a feel for the game are correspondingly appropriate to surfing. ‘As long as you’re doing your best and having fun,’ he’d say. ‘That’s all that really matters.’ As a veteran surfer and as a cultural researcher I have observed many surfers in practice. The best surfers in the lineup are those who are having the most fun. These wave riders experience high doses of stoke. The most stoked surfers are those who catch waves and ride those waves to the best of their ability. These surfers experience hyper-fun. These surfers enjoy the surfing game, and surely, that is what really matters. This situation can be represented by the following simple equation.

Catching Waves + Wave Riding Performance = Surfing Fun.

Occam’s swishing blade in action, yes?

Read the full seventy-thousand-word thesis here. 


Listen: “We must fight tooth and nail against expert opinions lest the technocracy bring us all down!”

Surfing.

The Grit! has long been a veritable garden of half-baked opinion, arguing two conflicting ideas simultaneously, speaking first, learning second. In short, a fair representation of the surf life but the surf life has never been so under attack.

On the right, blind loyalty to a B-grade reality television star has eroded self-awareness.

On the left, slavish devotion to “science” and “experts” has eroded common sense.

And here we are, with half-baked opinion, arguing two conflicting ideas simultaneously, speaking first and learning never as the attitude that will save us all.

The surf life.

David Lee and I discuss the great Michael Tomson, the end of Surfer, why it is important to ignore doctors etc.

As empty as it is important.

Come mock the future.


Legendary Webber Wave Pool with rumored “best tube on earth” gets go ahead for “formal discussions” in South Florida!

Exciting!

Few things are currently as highly anticipated as Greg Webber’s wave pool technology. A coronavirus vaccine, manned missions to mars, Tesla becoming the most valuable stock on earth are all exciting but none have the frisson of The Webber.

You first learned of it, here, back in 2018 when the master-builder called out all-comers.

A lot of crap is going to down the second our pool proves we’ve got the best tube on earth. Then the games will really begin. I’m ready for it. There will be one company eclipses everyone else. Why would you choose a lesser version that can’t control the currents? Why would you spend the same money to have a lot less? It’s like buying a phone that was designed ten years ago? You gotta have everything, internet, a good camera, seriously, that’s how big the difference is going to be.

Extremely provocative though not much has been seen by way of practical steps toward realization.

Until now.

For now we have a “charismatic, guitar-playing environmental entrepreneur” who hopes to build a Webber in his childhood hometown of Coral Springs, Florida.

Anthony Brown, 55, grew up in what was once swampland, hunting, fishing, riding bikes before moving to the mid-west and making his living starting companies revolving around environmental remediation.

In 2008, he was flipping through a Popular Mechanics magazine when he read a story about wave pool technology and decided, then and there, that’s what he was going to do next.

Well, one thing led to another, Brown moved back to South Florida, started his company, Ocean Sports Development, which, in turn secured an exclusive licensing and patented design for the Webber Wave Pool to “create waves for all levels of training and competition.

The company hopes to build surf parks across the nation and create a competitive surfing league at those facilities.

Last week, Coral Springs commissioners gave the go-ahead for city staff to begin formal discussions with Brown and his team to build the $20 million facility.

And can you finally see it?

Feel it?

Exciting.

I’m most looking forward to the competitive surfing league and will ask to be commissioner.


You’re-a-lady-now: World #25 WSL surfer Ellie-Jean Coffey introduces just-turned-18 sister to XXX-subscriber only website: “Bonnie and I are getting naughty with each other today…”

Welcome to womanhood, Bonnnie-Lou Coffey…

Amid much fanfare, the alternately sexually abused and joyfully promiscuous Ellie-Jean Coffey has brought her youngest sister, Bonnie-Lou, who has just turned eighteen, into the XXX-strip-for-cash game. 

EJ, you’ll remember from our recent flurry of mining-tits-for-clicks activity including, “QUEEN OF SURFING ELLIE-JEAN COFFEY LAUNCHES SEXY SUBSCRIBER-ONLY WEBSITE: “NIPPLE EXXXPOSED, COMPLETELY TOPLESS WITH MY LEGS SPREAD OPEN”

SURFING’S I-AM-WOMAN-HEAR-ME-ROAR MOMENT: WSL SURF STAR ELLIE JEAN COFFEY DESCRIBES PIVOT TO XXX-RATED SUBSCRIBER SERVICE AS “LIBERATING” AND SAYS “IT EMPOWERS ME TO MOTIVATE OTHER WOMEN TO NOT LIMIT THEMSELVES IN FEAR OF OTHERS’ OPINIONS.

PAYBACK: WORLD #25 SURFER MONETISES TOXIC MALE DESIRE AFTER ENDURING “YEARS OF ABUSE” AND “MISOGYNY” BY “MALE DOMINATED (SURF) INDUSTRY”

WORLD #25 WSL SURFER-TURNED-PORN-MAVEN ELLIE-JEAN COFFEY RELEASES BOMBSHELL CLAIMS AGAINST SURF INDUSTRY: “I WAS SPAT ON!”

FANS OF #25 WSL SURFER ELLIE-JEAN COFFEY EXPLODE ON REDDIT, “I JUST PAID $85 FOR HER “PRIVATE XXX SHOWER VIDEO WITH MY NIPPLES SHOWING”. HER NIPPLES ARE NOT VISIBLE AT ALL!”

You’ll also remember EJ’s twenty-two-year-old sis Holly-Daze debuting her own XXX site, her offerings including, “Bare pussy and topless”, “nipples poking through my top as I get into messy sucking” and “Close up on my (cat emoji) and (peach emoji) completely topless (purple devil emoji), rub it in daddy.”

Bonnie-Lou Coffey is the youngest sister in the four-pack of girls and one boy, and in her final year of high school.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CFq1gDTnjL-/

Her Instagram account has almost half-a-million followers and many dedicated fans. 

In a recent post, Bonnie-Lou asked who would like to go on a double-date with her and a pal. 

“How much for you two to kiss? Perhaps throw a few fingers in each other too?” wrote one.

“I’ll take the 18 year old,” said another. 

BL’s debut with her big sister promises “naughty behaviour”. 

Looting?

Burning? 

Or something far more sinister?