You’re-a-lady-now: World #25 WSL surfer Ellie-Jean Coffey introduces just-turned-18 sister to XXX-subscriber only website: “Bonnie and I are getting naughty with each other today…”

Welcome to womanhood, Bonnnie-Lou Coffey…

Amid much fanfare, the alternately sexually abused and joyfully promiscuous Ellie-Jean Coffey has brought her youngest sister, Bonnie-Lou, who has just turned eighteen, into the XXX-strip-for-cash game. 

EJ, you’ll remember from our recent flurry of mining-tits-for-clicks activity including, “QUEEN OF SURFING ELLIE-JEAN COFFEY LAUNCHES SEXY SUBSCRIBER-ONLY WEBSITE: “NIPPLE EXXXPOSED, COMPLETELY TOPLESS WITH MY LEGS SPREAD OPEN”

SURFING’S I-AM-WOMAN-HEAR-ME-ROAR MOMENT: WSL SURF STAR ELLIE JEAN COFFEY DESCRIBES PIVOT TO XXX-RATED SUBSCRIBER SERVICE AS “LIBERATING” AND SAYS “IT EMPOWERS ME TO MOTIVATE OTHER WOMEN TO NOT LIMIT THEMSELVES IN FEAR OF OTHERS’ OPINIONS.

PAYBACK: WORLD #25 SURFER MONETISES TOXIC MALE DESIRE AFTER ENDURING “YEARS OF ABUSE” AND “MISOGYNY” BY “MALE DOMINATED (SURF) INDUSTRY”

WORLD #25 WSL SURFER-TURNED-PORN-MAVEN ELLIE-JEAN COFFEY RELEASES BOMBSHELL CLAIMS AGAINST SURF INDUSTRY: “I WAS SPAT ON!”

FANS OF #25 WSL SURFER ELLIE-JEAN COFFEY EXPLODE ON REDDIT, “I JUST PAID $85 FOR HER “PRIVATE XXX SHOWER VIDEO WITH MY NIPPLES SHOWING”. HER NIPPLES ARE NOT VISIBLE AT ALL!”

You’ll also remember EJ’s twenty-two-year-old sis Holly-Daze debuting her own XXX site, her offerings including, “Bare pussy and topless”, “nipples poking through my top as I get into messy sucking” and “Close up on my (cat emoji) and (peach emoji) completely topless (purple devil emoji), rub it in daddy.”

Bonnie-Lou Coffey is the youngest sister in the four-pack of girls and one boy, and in her final year of high school.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CFq1gDTnjL-/

Her Instagram account has almost half-a-million followers and many dedicated fans. 

In a recent post, Bonnie-Lou asked who would like to go on a double-date with her and a pal. 

“How much for you two to kiss? Perhaps throw a few fingers in each other too?” wrote one.

“I’ll take the 18 year old,” said another. 

BL’s debut with her big sister promises “naughty behaviour”. 

Looting?

Burning? 

Or something far more sinister?


Open Thread: Comment live as Donald Trump’s number two (to be named later) Pence takes on Joe Biden’s inspired pick, the exciting Kamala Harris, in the one and only Vice-Presidential debate!

A battle royale!

But we must now turn our full attention back to politics. The lessers amongst us believe that the dance of the gods doesn’t belong in surfing but we know better. We know that surfing is the only place to discuss important political matters with a reasonable tone.

And how excited are you?

This is the one, and only, Vice Presidential debate pitting Donald J. Trump’s Pence against Kamala Harris.

I’m going to be honest here. Pence is so dull that I forgot his first name and refuse to search for it now as I am a surf journalist worth is salt, not bending to easy Google tricks.

Kamala Harris, on the other hand, is a rising star in her party but failed, miserably, when she herself tried to run for President.

Who has the better jam off the top?

The better barrel?

As always, that is for you to decide.

Watch here!

Or anywhere!


Surf journalist (left) absolutely transfixed the moment he laid eyes on Michael Tomson.

Life according to surfing’s only bonafide rock-n-roller Michael Tomson: “To hell with the consequences!”

Godspeed, Michael Tomson.

Surfing icon Michael Tomson was put into an induced coma over a week ago after suffering a seizure at home. He has not come out of it and, yesterday, was taken off life-support.

Damn it all.

We hurried our memorials up because I wanted Michael to read them. I pictured him lounging in a hospital bed, morphine dripping, scrolling through the stories, the comments, with that Cheshire cat grin spreading across his face.

He had the best Cheshire cat grin.

I wanted him to feel his impact, his influence. Chuckle at the snarky asides, hot takes. Absorb the bookends of a life fabulously lived. To see the path he hacked through surfing’s manicured garden.

But we were too late.

Great historian Matt Warshaw wrote that Michael Tomson will be remembered in three parts: Fearlessly charging Pipeline, Gotcha and cocaine but I disagree.

He was, is, surfing’s only bonafide rock-n-roller and I called his great friend, one-time Gotcha designer, Jim Zapala to hope that Michael might have been able to read his headstone.

“No, man, I wish. He never came out of the coma. The doctors thought he would die last night but he’s still holding on, stubborn bastard. But it’s over. I knew this moment would come, he hasn’t been in the best physical shape for a while, but now that it’s actually here it…

…it’s hard. I was digging around, yesterday, for one of the first Gotcha logos I came up with. It had some cheesy 80s font but also had Michael charging Pipeline in the ‘O’ and the phrase ‘To hell with the consequences’ below. That was him…

…that was him.”

To hell with the consequences.

Michael Tomson will be remembered singularly for never, not ever, pulling a punch.

Stories of his generosity, his not-yet-fully appreciated writing, his fashion anarchy, his ability to Pipeline will certainly flow and I have no doubt, when the dust settles, he will be carved into surfing’s Mount Rushmore between Duke Kahanamoku and a pack of Laird Hamilton’s SuperFood Coffee Creamer but, until then, pour one out for an icon.

He was what we hope to be. What we are generally not.

All-fucking-in.

Godspeed, Michael Tomson.

Godspeed.


Bill Finnegan at G-Land in the seventies. The waves "looked incredible – long, long, long, fast, empty lefts, six feet on the smaller days, eight-feet plus when the swell pulsed… " | Photo: William Finnegan/Barbarian Days: a Surfing Life.

Award-winning filmmaker Stephen Gaghan tapped to write, direct cinematic version of William Finnegan’s Barbarian Days!

"A beautiful addiction, a demanding course of study, a morally dangerous pastime, a way of life."

But where are you on the book-to-film debate? A purist who believes the written word should never be polluted by celluloid? An illiterate who foregoes ink and paper, waiting for the pichures to moov? Somewhere in between?

Me?

I love when books get turned into film so much. I love when good books get turned into bad films, when bad books get turned into good films and especially, especially when an iconic writer is interpreted by an iconic director.

Which is why I was very excited to read yesterday that William Finnegan’s Pulitzer Prize winning Barbarian Days shall be written and directed by Syriana’s own Stephan Gaghan.

Per the press release:

Oscar-winning Traffic scribe Stephen Gaghan will write and direct Barbarian Days for Amazon Studios, based on William Finnegan’s bestselling memoir Barbarian Days: A Surfing Life. The book won the Pulitzer Prize in 2016.

Gaghan will produce alongside Ted Hope, who will produce under his multi-picture deal with the studio. Finnegan will also be executive producer.

Barbarian Days tells the story of Finnegan’s lifelong love affair with surfing. He describes it as an obsession, a beautiful addiction, a demanding course of study, a morally dangerous pastime, a way of life. The tale starts when the author was an 8-year old kid who caught the surf bug.

Exciting but who do you think should play young Finnegan? What about slightly older Finnegan?

Swinging 70s G-Land Finnegan?

I think maybe James Franco.

Is he still cancelled?


WIlko, on surfboard, and shark. | Photo: Surf Lifesaving NSW

Incredible drone footage: All beaches around Ballina closed after former world #1 Matt Wilkinson bumped by large bull shark or great white, “If it got any closer it would’ve been sucking my toes!”

"The shark had kind of come at me from in front and then went around the back and had a little go at my legs…"

At around three this afternoon, the former world number one Matt Wilkinson felt, but didn’t see, a wild splash near his feet while paddling at Sharpes Beach, a lonely stretch of water between Ballina and Lennox.

A clubby drone operator, who filmed the encounter, told Wilko via the little chopper’s speaker that there was a dangerous shark in the area.

Wilko came in, saw the footage and oowee.

“The shark had kind of come at me from in front and then went around the back and had a little go at my legs, then last minute decided that my feet stunk or something and turned away,” Wilko told ABC North Coast. “It was probably about eight-foot long, it looked like it was a few feet longer than me…I’m feeling pretty lucky. We get to see sharks a little bit out in the surf but that was definitely my closest encounter and I hope it doesn’t get any closer than that.”

Wilko, photographed immediately after watching drone footage.

Comparing his encounter with Mick Fanning’s famous episode in 2015, the newly wed thirty two year old said,“His one was a little bit more wild than mine, but I guess I got to feel that weird, heart-sinking but lucky feeling when I saw that footage.  But I’m still here in one piece and I’ll live to surf another day.”


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