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"It's an eight oh, bro."
"It's an eight oh, bro."

Volume calculator: In semi-annual “celebrities who love to surf” featurette, Page Six reveals Tinseltown’s favorite board is the 8-foot egg for 20-years running!

'Til death do us part.

Yesterday, it was revealed the actor Ben Affleck was broken up with by his beautiful Cuban-Spanish girlfriend, actress Ana de Armas, after one year together. Sources claimed the pair really seemed to be in love though work/family constraints provided simply too much pressure in the end.

Alas, they will always have their 8-foot egg shaped surfboards.

Hollywood’s enduring love affair with the Ashton Goggans of wave craft is legendary and especially in a town not known for fidelity. Let us celebrate the union while scrolling through Page Six’s semi-annual “celebrities who love to surf” featurette. Let us toast the passion in all of its glory.

Ah, Ben Affleck’s pal Matt Damon and his trusty 8-foot Becker…

…Gerard Butler and his eight-feet of flow…

…Saturday Night Live’s Colin Jost feeling eight-feet of fun…

…funny man Daniel Tosh.0 doin’ it x8…

Etc.

On and on the featurette goes with appearances from Reese Witherspoon, Joel Kinnaman, Liev Schreiber and many more all staying true to 8-feet of foam with gently rounded curves.

Laird Hamilton even makes a special appearance though he is riding an eFoil.

Back to the eggs, though, does it make you want to add one to your quiver?

It should.

People will think you are famous.

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35 Comments
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channelbottom

Thanks.

I have a massive collection of participation medals.
The best collection.

East of the 5

Deep in the stash of illicit images and videos on Pornhub I believe I saw Kim Kardashian in a thong saying “Kowabunga dudes I lover surfers” or something along those lines. But my memory is shot.

J H

I love it when my two favorite hard news publication come together and give us Real Journalism™.

channelbottom

This is stretch; but perhaps they should be known as ‘producers,’ as they produce ‘ridden’ waves, look silly and are mini-mal (Brooks).

Edit MINI-MAL BROOKS. D’YEGEDDIT?

EH?

Erik Bogan

I surf with the Hemsworths pretty regularly around Suffolk. They are the only celebs who seem to actually surf properly.
The oldest brother Luke actually rips.

Billy  Crystalmethodman

I worked on “Chasing Mavericks.” Gerard Butler did get mopped up by a proper 15 ft rogue wave at Mavs, then he went on Oprah or some other talk show and claimed he caught 2 waves. Umm No!

J H

Wasn’t there a tale of near drowning?

Billy  Crystalmethodman

Yea he got airlifted to the hospital!

paul taublieb

you got it wrong with Tosh – he may stray to the 8, but he’s a straight up ripper and super fun to share waves with in the lineup.

nyc surfing golden boy

he was never funny

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins

Johnny Utah knows better:
https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Otto

Do Hollywood celebrities ever stop acting?

Brutus

No , but Don is now done …freedom…..yewwwwww

Ricky Spanish

But what does Ben think?

madmaxmedia

The volume calculator is different in Hollywood, where the bigger the celebrity the bigger the board they can get away with and still appear ‘cool’.
A-List- 80L
B-List- 70L
etc…

Beef & Beer

Those boards look more like mini-mals.
A true egg is a foot or more shorter and doesn’t have such a wide nose…

@surfads

Yeah somewhere out there right now Joel Tudor is having a conniption

J H

Can we sent him a list of celebs we’d like to see him Joel Jitsu the shit out of?

Phat-wan kerr

do celebrity surfers piss in their wetsuits?

channelbottom

They have a personal assistant do it for them.

disqus_00d1gIXedO

to answer your question, no.

Phat-wan kerr

eggs can be great when used at the appropriate time and place. breakfast, beside bacon.

Lemon Next to the Pie

We’ve got 5 chooks mate. Eggs for days…

Phat-wan kerr

that’s the problem with bacon, pig needs to killed to get at it. but who knows what the future will hold, I seem to remember seeing an article somewhere that they are growing ears the back of rats, imagine if all that energy was focused into developing a pig you could just peel strips off every morning.

channelbottom

You’ll need another 5 to reach ‘The Tenth Chook’.

Lemon Next to the Pie

I’ve buried about 5 over the years, so close enough. Wife bought 2 Araucanas. They’re blue and lay blue eggs. They remind me of something that can only be relieved with reference to the Tenth Sock.

channelbottom

Ooooh missus!

paulo de tarso
Shore pound

Celebrities – they’re just like us!

Phat-wan kerr

only happier.

madmaxmedia

and better.

J H

That Ana Che Guevara is muy caliente.

nyc surfing golden boy

only filthy rich..

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

Enquiring minds want to know!

ZZ Soft Top

A person has to have some dignity. The only Egg I’ll be buying and using is a Jade Egg from Goop that can be inserted into various orifices for maximum celebrity-adjacent rippage in Teh Bu.


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