The story has officially developed.
That’s it, that’s all. I’ve had it. Mad as hell and not going to take it anymore etc. The World Surf League has failed us, extraordinarily, in our moment of greatest need. They have withheld professional competitive surfing, through bungling, lack of imagination, arrogant stupidity when Plump Pip Toledo bouncing around equally oversized Sunset could have, nay would have, been the healing ointment for these uncertain times.
Pandemic, political tension, economic stressors, emotional collapse.
Professional competitive surfing as cure. Hours stretching into days pondering Kanoa Igarshi’s wave selection instead of whether granny will live to see another rotten day.
But no, nein, nyet (which is actually spelled “net” in our English script because the “e” is pronounced “ye”) nothing and I am finished looking to Santa Monica with dewy, hope-filled eyes. Done waiting on World Surf League CEO Erik Logan to un-mealy his mouth.
Instead I shall fly to Jackson, Wyoming where the world’s greatest snowboarder, Travis Rice, has willed a whole new professional competitive tour into existence, staring pandemic, political tension, economic stressors, emotional collapse in the eye and not blinking.
Natural Selection, with its first of three stops at the famed Jackson Hole Mountain Resort (Feb. 3 – 9), will wrench our attention from granny’s well-being and has a format so simple even the most salt-crusted can follow along.
Sixteen men and eight women, each one of finest snowboarders alive, hand-selected by competent snowboard journalists, podcasteers and legends (as opposed to slogging through some nitwit QS-esque nonsense) will bash off natural and lightly enhanced features for our entertainment.
Many big airs. Much rotations.
I just so happened to be with Travis over this past New Year holiday. One evening he came home tired and sweaty, having been shoveling snow on the course all day. I was drinking bourbon and working on a puzzle of planet earth in his kitchen. “I think I did the highest air of my life,” he said. “How high?” I asked. “100 feet,” he mumbled, not impressed with himself, though I was very impressed and you will certainly be too.
The riders will be judged on their amplitude but also their speed, their power, their flow.
We understand speed, power and flow.
It will take the best two days of a seven day waiting period to run the event.
We understand waiting periods.
The finest snowboarders alive will then go to Bald Face in British Columbia, a fantasy land owned and operated by one of the handsomest men on earth, Jeff Pensiero. The top four men, two women, after that will end in Alaska on the same spines featured in the world’s greatest extreme sport film ever (Tom Curren’s Free Scrubber exempted).
We understand that it takes a tour to make a title.
I shall be covering it all, each stop, starting tomorrow on LodgeGrit, which also happens to be anti-depressive, and encourage you, oh weary People™, to join me there daily with coverage, ill-posited opinion, live commenting.
Long live scores in the excellent range.
Long live elimination rounds.
Long live tenths of percents.
Long live hundreds of feet.
Long live competitive professional surfing.
I mean snowboarding.
Damn I could easily write for lodgegrit. I spent a few years living the Mt Hood life as a lift op and park crew help. We partied so hard that after my last year there, management instituted a rule that conspiring to have a party was grounds for termination!
Pro surfing would be a great addition to Netflix.
1. Regular TV is on its way to the grave and stream services are gonna start to look at sports more seriously.
2. The storytelling aspect that the WSL pushes is a good fit for them
3. Woke culture fits them both, despite the opinions of grumpy locals
4. The average cost of a complete CT season is similar to a good tv series season
This is actually a good idea. But also a bad idea b/c it might actually be successful despite the WSL’s best attempts otherwise and make surfing even more popular and crowded. Also, pro surfing is relatively international and Netflix is always looking for shows that will be popular around the globe.
Netflix was able to make F1 storylines interesting I’m sure they could do the same for surfing.
Dark Matter is a pretty excellent watch whether you ride or not…
Terje Haakonsen must play some part of this for sure? The goat in the mountain.
who’d ever have thought that pro surfing could take a page from other pro sports closer related to surfing than tennis or fucking seppo football “leagues”
I would like to see surfing take a page from jousting. just need a pool where riders meet in the middle holding broom sticks.
I really feel that success is just round the corner with Lodgegrit.
But you have to stick to apres ski and embark upon a campaign of mocking The Toad.
Yep, I know – low hanging fruit.
Snow boarding deserves this from a surf journalist.
LodgeGrit would certainly open up a whole new frontier for Derek’s real estate write-ups.
If you feel the up coming success of Lodge Grit is near go be the first to leave a comment on the sight. It would be a triumphant milestone for them.
I have that honour.
Not another comment in sight.
It’s like Stab
Natural selection, snowboarding and surfing walk into a bar..
Bartender: “Who are you?”
https://youtu.be/a8HXEN11wS8
You will fly to Jackson or your wife is making you come watch her clients?
chas has sent in his powder cartwheel video submission in hopes of getting a start.
How are the competitors getting into Canada?
Canadians won’t be getting back in their own country in a few days.
Flight of the Valkyries style heli drop from Idaho into B.C.?
Terrance and Phillip don’t shred!
Or maybe its all hype.
Does anyone know anybody with a snowboard adjacent website that could pump this “tour”?
Dear Chad,
I know this is a touchy subject but did your wife write this? (Questioning emoji)
Please explain?
But, but, but,….I thought surfing was supposed to be a totally mellow pursuit of riding waves, and being one with the Ocean and nature,
reserved for those who have a soulful outlook on life and just want to get away from ego trips and societie’s hang-ups.
A pursuit, totally devoid of competitive ambitions and artifices.
The antithesis of societies win, win, I’m better than you hang-ups.
Isn’t that why we started surfing in the first place, to get away from all that junk.
Why bring it back.
It hasn’t been like that for 3 decades Freerider. For better or worse the World moves on.
Then the new generation is missing out on a lot–like the whole reason why we started surfing in the first place.
Have they been brainwashed by the ‘media’ and the surf industry?
Maybe?
‘soul surfers’ may be a dying breed– but they do still exist.
Camped out at some isolated point in Baja, or parked at the end of the parking lot in some beat up old van, or surfing a mediocre beach break instead of a packed line-up, just to avoid the crowds, and have some personal solitude.
“To be alone with the surf and their thoughts”.
The antithesis of Elo and the Wsl.
Didn’t you want to be a better surfer than all your friends that you sat in the car with driving to and from the beach?
Good question. And looking back, the actual crew I surfed with, the subject I don’t think ever really came up, who’s best, I don’t think any of us really cared, we were just stoked to be at the beach and catching waves, hooting each other on.
I did want to be my ‘personal’ best, but better than my bros, no, not really at all, never a goal, to be better than them.
To be my personal best, ya.
We were just surf stoked.
Catching waves, hanging out at the beach, waiting for the next swell, not trying to out-do each other.
We were stoked.
We were stoked too but we also put each other through relentless torment and ridicule. It was character building.
Hey, we did rag on each other as groms will do, a lot, but not like tearing down how we surfed, if you ‘backed-off’ on a wave, and didn’t take the drop, ya you’d hear about it, and plenty of rat-fink practical jokes on each other at the beach. And ya, we would try and catch the best wave of the session too.
But, na, don’t ever remember who’s best–being an issue.
And your right, grommet-hood ‘was’ character building, that’s one reason why ‘Vulnerable Adult Learners’ are so ‘vulnerable’, they never went through that important grommett phase of becoming a surfer.
Good post .
Are you John Denver?
Everyone had a different style as well, couldnt really compete with your friend, he was imitating Gerry Lopez. I think I tried to imitate Nat Young.
I too am sorely disappointed by surfing’s failure to live up to the promises laid out by marketing executives.
I’m suicidal after Chas’ post. Who can I blame ?
Chas, you have failed us by introducing LodgeGrit. I have experienced the finest moments snow sports has to offer including smoking bongs on the chair lift and railing a chick up the arse in the dry room but notwithstanding snow sports are not for me. If I wanted to hang out with little shit cunts and their retired parents by the fire drinking warmed up cum out of a teacup I would have joined a Surf Live Saving Club or a yacht club. Keep your fucken wet socks and unkempt moots. Fuck the snow and your Lodge Grit.
Just you wait!
Put a hold on the name Stuart Muff Diver for me in case I have a change of heart.
YachtGrit next week my Brother!
WallStreetInvestorGrit to follow.
StonkGrit
Could you do a UNOgrit?
My 7YO is a bit of a hardcore player.
She’ll whup my ass more often than not.
And she’s quite quite good at playing UNO as well.
Interview with Ford Archbold?
The new foil tech has turned even dinghys into flyng machines…Americas Cup is awesome to watch.
Doge 🚀
PoliticalDebateGrit
edit-AmericanPoliticsDebateGrit
“little shit cunts”…classic.
Noah Salasnek, first descent of super spines. Never forget. If anybody thinks snowboarding is weak or whatever try getting dropped off by a helicopter on the edge of a cliff with a two thousand foot drop ahead of you. Makes jaws look lame.
Is the snowboarding equivalent of a shark a cougar?
I think avalanche.
Cougars never hurt anyone.
Idk one blasted The Melvins in bed and pulled my hair while telling me she was an ex junkie.
It hurts me now wishing I flogged it harder
This is thee most fucked up comment I have ever read here! And I’ve read a few haha.
Bravo.
A cougar changed my life one warm night in Venice, 1988.
Na I reckon it’s a family of Indians with a day pass. Instantly recognisable by their blue jeans and knock off Timberlands. Probably the most dangerous hazard on the mountain. The last thing you will see is an Armani Exchange back pocket logo as you stack and shove your head right up their arse.
https://abcnews.go.com/Inte…
You won’t be sad. It gonna be very fun.
Snow-fence of positive noise
You failed to mention
The people shelling the coin
To put on this show…
Thought this was kinda relevant. What swimming is trying to do:
https://youtu.be/lZ1puqnpw44
the logo is quite disturbing. The guy’s ass is welded straight onto his tits.
And his voice 😥
Haha, sounds familiar. Trying to fix a “nobody cares” problem by tinkering with the format and the media presentation. Same sport at the end, and still nobody cares.
Certainly made a good job of making a shitty video presentation.
Tell em we got TWO great CEO’s we can recommend…
Elo’s big idea: “Unboxing w/ Michael Phelps”! or “Stay in Your (swim) Lane) – A Debate Show”
This almost sounds like real journalism…..are you going to be the new Longtom of the snowboarding community ?
He is from Oregon.
I will be the last thing the snowboarding community needs. The new Chas Smith.