Professional surfers terrified as “angriest octopus in all of Australia” revealed to be lurking around stop five on World Championship Tour!

Make professional surfing exciting again.

But yesterday’s competitive professional surfing was pretty ok, no? Lightly enjoyable? I found it to be better than thinking about taxes though worse than eating carne asada burritos near the beach. Most of the elements were there but it was missing… something.

Maybe “the angriest octopus in all of Australia?”

Maybe.

That li’l menace has just shown up lurking around the corner of stop five of the 2020/21 Championship Tour Marg. River, there on the western shore, and just slapped a nice father of one in the neck for no good reason at all.

Lance Karlson, a geologist and former lifeguard, was splashing in the water with his two-year old daughter when he spotted what he thought was a stingray lashing out at a seagull before realizing it was a furious octopus.

Noticing the humans, the octopus left the gull and tried to slap them instead.

“My response to the first encounter which I caught on film was shock, followed by fascination. I had not encountered an octopus this close before, so at the time, I was mostly intrigued. Keep in mind that I was with my daughter, and I think any dad would relate to being more protective of her than fearful of the threat,” he said.

After depositing his daughter on the beach, Karlson grabbed some goggles to go for a little swim. All of a sudden his goggles fogged and the water became murky. “I remember being shocked and confused,” he said. “I was then struck a second time, more forcefully, across my neck and upper back. I can only describe it as a ‘whipping’ sensation followed by a stinging.”

The angriest octopus in all of Australia back for seconds.

Karlson was ok though in some pain. The family rushed back to their hotel and he poured Coke on his wounds, which lessened the stinging some and I wish I would have done the same when slapped in the neck by the angriest surf groupie in all of Florida but I will say, in my personal experience, unexpected slappings make otherwise dull events exciting.

Which brings us back to the octopus.

Imagine Matt Banting making less-than-wonderful turns out at Main Break and…. THWACK!

Neck slapped.

Exciting, no?