And oh how the pressure is ON. As you know well, surfing will make its official Olympic debut in mere weeks’ time. Many, save Jordy Smith, are very excited but will it be a grand coming out or a total fizzle?
Well, it depends on the waves I suppose.
And Gabriel Medina vs. Italo Ferriera.
But if the waves are good, and if Gab + Italo perform, then one of the oldest, largest news organizations in the world suggests that Olympic boogie, longboard, SUP may follow.
There are two gold medals up for grabs in Tokyo, one each for men and women using shortboards. Should these competitions provide the spectacular drama and visuals usually associated with the sport, other events such as longboards, bodyboards and stand-up paddleboards (SUPs) may be included at future Games.
At approximately 1.8 metres in length, the shortboards usually have three small fins on the underside and a pointed nose, which gives skilled riders the freedom to carry out tight turns and dynamic changes of direction that are harder to pull off on larger boards.
Shortboard supremacy coming to an end?
That depends, again, on Brazil.
Inspired young hero plans to surf 301 straight days after horrific shark attack: “The lifeguard who came he was like, ‘yeah, I can see your lungs through your back!’”
We’ve all, at this point, imagined being out and getting hit by a shark and easy to say, “Oh, I wouldn’t let it affect me. I’d be right back out there as soon as I’m healed…” but much different to say than to do. The great Mike Tyson famously said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face,” and getting big in the torso by a shark carries much more gravitas which is what makes Encinitas’s Keane Hayes much impressive.
The then thirteen almost fourteen year old was diving for lobster off Beacons beach when he was viciously mauled. According to San Diego’s local ABC affiliate, when he was brought to the beach, the lifeguard said, “Yeah, I can see your lungs through your back.”
A very chill lifeguard.
The boy was life-flighted to Rady’s Children’s Hospital and underwent multiple surgeries including getting over 1000 stitches but even that didn’t stop him. Now sixteen, he is committed to surfing 301 consecutive days.
“I think we’re on day 170. It’s also just a personal goal just to surf a ton and be in the water fishing or doing whatever. Honestly, it just kind of feels natural you know, like I’m not pushing it, I’m not scared,” he told the news outlet.
He is also committed to helping others overcome their own fears.
“Going with Bethany Hamilton and pushing girls without arms, like amputees, like that’s…. it’s, I can’t even describe it, it’s just so much fun and feels good to help them.”
Mike Tyson would be proud.
Eighties supermodel Cindy Crawford describes OG Tahitian surf-stud Raimana Van Bastolaer as human Viagra, “I call him the Big Blue Pill. He can get anyone up. Even me!”
In one of the loveliest rags to riches stories you could ever imagine, Tahitian Raimana Van Bastolaer, former Teahupoo ambassador turned smiling face of the Surf Ranch, has been described as human Viagra by eighties supermodel Cindy Crawford.
Viagra is a medication used to treat erectile dysfunction or to ramp up an already tumescent womb-duster. Side effects include deeply satisfied gal, a terrible chafing on shaft and a reputation as a pussy assassin.
On Instagram, the fifty-five-year-old whose career peaked in 1987 when she appeared alongside the other OG supermods Christy Turlington, Linda Evangalista and Naomi Campbell on British Vogue, writes,
And this is why I call @raimanaworld the Big Blue Pill — he can get anyone up—even me!
A roll call of celebs, including NY designer Donna Karan, supermodels Carolyn Murphy and Christine Brinkley, joined in in the comments, thrilling to the ride and to human hard-on Raimana Van Bastolaer.
Yesterday, on the United States of America’s 245th birthday, Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg posted a video of himself e-foiling whilst holding an American flag set to John Denver’s “Take me home, country roads” on his Instagram.
Now, an important question for us surfers, us children of the sea. Did Zuckerberg single-handedly destroy both foiling and America in one fell swoop?
Oh, of course the fifth richest man in the world is e-foiling but I think a small distinction to make on such a large platform and I’d imagine any time anyone now pulls any sort of float board out of car someone will snort derisively.
Very much worse than what Adam Sandler did to rollerblading and look how that has disappeared.
I am currently in Mexico enjoying warm water and warmer weather and, looking north, it seems like Zuck hammered a nail into the coffin. The last nail?
Well, that’s what I’m asking you.
Foiling finished, the U.S.A. finished?
Difficult for me to see how either survives this.
Ten-foot Great White responsible for attack on surfer at Crescent Head, says Department of Primary Industries