Watch: The fabulous surf colonization story of the world’s sexiest stretch of coast in “Biarritz Surf Gang!”

Chas Smith

By

Coq au vin!

I remember, as a very young surfer, hearing that the great Tom Curren had packed his bags and moved to France. It confused me greatly, as greatly as hearing, years later, that the great Gerry Lopez had packed his bags and moved to Bend, Oregon. I wondered about France, wondered if it had waves and if they were big, small, bad or good.

Many years later, I was able to go to Biarritz, Hossegor, et. al. and my goodness, if it ain’t a stretch of the world’s sexiest coast what with its dripping French accent, coq au vin, oui, oui, oui and thumping beach break.

How did it all come to be?

A new documentary, The Biarritz Surf Gang, tells the fabulous story.

Per the press release:

“Biarritz Surf Gang” is a documentary by Pierre Denoyel and Nathan Curren. The film reveals the true story of six lunatic surfers who set fire to their surfboards at Biarritz’ Grande Plage, in the 1980s. The local crew, inspired by the punk movement, had a thirst for trouble and breaking the law. This is their story, and how they achieved greatness, experience decadence, and eventually fall.

It is streaming many places, including Apple and Amazon, and very much worth a spin.

Oui.

Oui.

Oui.

"Just feels tight," says the former Reef team rider.

Pro surfer turned Grammy-nominated DJ Paul Fisher launches new track “Just Feels Tight” with wildly anti-WOKE, sexually explosive video!

Derek Rielly

By

"Chuck on ya undies and get down to Fisher's aerobic's class"

The former-pro-surfer-and-comic-turned-DJ Paul Fisher, who trades under the stage name FISHER, has launched his latest track, Just Feels Tight, with a video that’ll make you want to twist your nipples in the dark. 

Drama and attitude, mercifully, no cock shot.  

My favourite memory of Paul Fisher was when he called me what, eight, nine, years ago. It was eight pm and I was about to sit down to a delicious dinner with my (then) wife and (still) two sons. It was a Skype call from America, three in the morning or thereabouts in LA, which gave it some importance.

I removed my bib, drained my pitcher of department store red wine. (Family man.)

Was Fisher in trouble? Did my little pal require serious counsel?

As the pixels settled down to a clear picture, Fisher appeared and ordered a girl to “Show Derek ya tits! Ha ha ha ha ha!”

And now look at him!

Writes Fisher, using caps lock to full effect: CHUCK ON YA UNDIES AND GET DOWN TO FISHERS AEROBICS CLASS 🤪🤪OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO FOR ‘JUST FEELS TIGHT’ LIVE NOW. STRETCH THOSE HIPS AND FLICK THOSE WRISTS

One day in the wild and a million-plus views.

You want the bad news or the bad news? | Photo: Steve Sherman/@tsherms

Hawaiian world champ John John Florence sensationally pulls out of remainder of WSL season one week after Tokyo Olympics!

Derek Rielly

By

See y'all at The Pipe says John John.

The two-time Hawaiian world champ, John John Florence, has sensationally withdrawn from the next two events of the championship tour, a season ending decision given his current rating outside the world title showdown top five. 

Florence, a tall man with shortish legs whose Olympic campaign was derailed in round three by fellow American Kolohe Andino, writes,

I’ve decided to withdraw from the next two WSL events in Mexico and Tahiti. This was a really hard decision to make, but I’m not 100% healed from my knee surgery and I’m trying to do the right thing for my future health and goals. The opportunity to surf in Tokyo was once in a lifetime, and a risk I was willing to take. But looking at the rest of the year and talking with my medical team the best step forward is continuing with physical therapy for the next 60 days. I want to make sure there is nothing that keeps me from competing, and surfing the way I want to in the long term. With all that said, I’ll be ready to go for the Pipe Masters and excited to compete! 

Florence, who turns twenty-nine in October, elected to compete in the Games despite the lingering injury, a knee he banged up at Margaret River earlier this year, and which required surgery.

Meanwhile, somewhere, likely California, Kelly Slater, ashen at disappeared Olympic dream, gropes at a hand-rail and is sick. 

Diamond Handed Bitcoin investor Kelly Slater signals his subtle appreciation of BeachGrit community by including “diamond” and “hand” emojis in his Instagram bio!

Chas Smith

By

He loves us, he really loves us!

Many months ago, the world’s greatest surfer took on Elon Musk in a battle over cryptocurrency investment strategies. Slater was angry that Musk for disallowing the popular Bitcoin to be used for purchasing his Teslas. As dutiful surf journalist, I felt it important to understand Slater’s various positions more deeply and dove feet first into the bubbling fount of his Instagram stories.

The first thing I noted, was a reference to “paper handed investors” or those blown here or there by the winds of change versus “diamond handed investors” who bravely hold a position.

Slater obviously with diamond hands.

For a series of stories, thereafter, the 11x World Champion was referred to, here, as “Diamond Handed Bitcoin Investor Kelly Slater.”

Now, in a subtle signal of love to BeachGrit’s one-of-a-kind community, an “irreverent online publication,” Slater has included a diamond emoji and a hand emoji in his Instagram biography.

A clear nod to the place, and people, who adore him like no other.

Does it make you feel happy that Slater is joining along? Laughing as we go?

It does me.

Heart emoji.

Heart emoji.

Heart eye emoji.

Hunter Biden, lightly controversial son of U.S. President, dons “very tight wetsuit,” gets surf lesson from voice of WSL Strider Wasilewski: “Biden’s giant pink surfboard immediately showed that he was a beginner!”

Chas Smith

By

Ethicists concerned.

Of all the wonderful surf-adjacent news thought I would wake up to this morning, World Surf League commentator and great Strider “Raspberry” Wasilewski giving a Malibu surf lesson to the lightly controversial son of the United States President cum artist Hunter Biden was not on the radar.

But here we are, a gift.

The august Daily Mail captured many images of the session (must see here), describing Biden’s wetsuit as “VERY tight” and his board as “giant” “immediately showing that he was a beginner.”

His belly-to-knee-to-slip pop up also showed that he was a beginner.

Biden, for his part, appeared to be having much fun and Wasilewski appeared to have been a serviceable teacher, pushing his eager student in etc. The group, including other friends and secret service friends, were all smiles after the session as Biden’s tummy threatened to burst forth from its neoprene casing.

The Mail reveals he began renting a house in Malibu four months ago for $20,000 per month.

It features an open floor plan.

The first son, lightly controversial for his dealings in Ukraine, affairing on his wife with his widowed sister-in-law, “smoking crack and drinking vodka exclusively for a period of time,” is now an artist with pieces for sale for $500,000. Ethicists worry that purchasing his paintings will be an easy way to curry favor with the very heights of governmental power.

Ethicists.

Lame stick in the muds always.

More as the story develops.

Photo: Steve Sherman/@tsherms
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