Hill's Azoff and DiCaprio's Belfort on set during filming of the 2013 smash hit.

Beloved actor, body positivist and Malibu surf inspiration Jonah Hill hospitalised with bronchitis following seven months of fake coke use, “It’s interesting pretending to be on drugs!”

"If you ingest that much matter into your lungs, you will get very sick."

The Hollywood funnyman, whom you know in these pages as the surfer inspiration to anyone whoever thought about turning to surf in their middle age but were afraid they’d missed the boat or thought they were too chubby, weak or afraid, has revealed a shock health crisis following his role as Donnie Azoff in 2013’s The Wolf of Wall Street.

Yeah, this clip is a little old, BeachGrit was only a couple of years into this world when this thing surfaced, and brave Mr Hill had yet to bleach hair, buy two Malibu mansions, an 88 foam board and become engaged to a surf instructor, but still worth, very much, repeating, I think.

Hill’s character in the black comedy, which was produced and directed by the great Martin Scorsese (Shutter Island, Boxcar Bertha, Bringing Out the Dead), is a real creepy son of a bitch.

Marries his first cuz he don’t want any other man to have her, tells DiCaprio’s Jordan Belfort if had retarded kids ‘cause of the genetic risk he’d loose ‘em in the woods or institutionalise ‘em, eats a goldfish, joins Belfort in gaming stocks, makes million, and enjoys quaaludes and coke.

In the clip, which you can watch below, Hill says he did so much fake coke during the seven-month filming he got bronchitis for three weeks and had to be hospitalised.

“We were literally doing fake coke for, like, seven months, every day. I never had more vitamin D in my entire life; I could have lifted a car over my fucking head.”

Even though the fake coke was vitamin powder, it didn’t matter says Hill ‘cause “if you ingest that much matter into your lungs, you will get very sick” and adding, “It’s interesting pretending to be on drugs… I’ll use music. I’ll make a playlist for every scene, so I’ll try to make, like, music that [makes me feel] jittery and chaotic… and then just drink a ton of coffee and Red Bull.”

The patron saint of VALS lives a vastly different lifestyle to that of Azoff, of course.

Just two weeks ago, BeachGrit reported that Hill had become a Mercedes van-driving surf nomad scouring the Californian coastline for waves in a Mercedes adventure vehicle, also known as the Beast Mode 4×4.

Exclusive: Surf fans dry eyes, become wildly euphoric after stunning revelation that Kelly Slater and Gisele Bündchen follow each other on Instagram though Tom Brady follows neither!

Love is the way!

Surf fans, moments ago, were seen mournfully weeping, or it may have actually been woefully sobbing, after the shocking announcement that Gisele Bündchen had initiated divorce proceedings from Tom Brady as a result of his telegraphing retirement from professional football before reneging and suiting up again.

The world’s greatest and oldest surfer, Kelly Slater’s, own foibles as it relates to retirement suddenly thrust into the spotlight at the worst possible time.

But might those tears have been premature for those hoping, dreaming of a rekindling between Bündchen and Slater?

For those unaware, the Brazilian supermodel and eleven-time champion dated from 2005 through 2006 creating a dynamic duo our kind had only witnessed once before in history.

Their potential reunion the stuff of whispered myth.

But, alas, Slater’s refusal to hang up the singlet a major possible roadblock.


An enterprising surf journalist has uncovered the greatest hint of all. As any modern man, woman, none-of-the-prior knows, Instagram is the place to telegraph the heart’s true desire and look and see.

While Tom Brady is followed by both Slater and Bündchen…

He follows neither. But, they follow each other!

The candles surf fans have been lighting appear to be working!

Love, truly, is the way.

Though it may feel like we’ve finally crossed the finish line, more candles can’t hurt.

Buy in bulk, please.

Kelly Slater (pictured) hiding assets.
Kelly Slater (pictured) hiding assets.

Surf fans woefully sob as source reveals Gisele Bündchen’s breakup with Tom Brady due his fear of retirement leaving steamy reunion with world’s oldest professional surfer Kelly Slater in sudden doubt!

Buy candles in bulk.

What a difference a day makes. Less than twenty-four hours ago, surf fans had never been so high, riding to the very crest of a wave that has been building all week. Namely, the revelation that Gisele Bündchen and her husband Tom Brady had each hired divorce lawyers and were not “hanging out,” as it were.

The two had been married for over a decade but suddenly, and seemingly without warning, separation hung heavy in the air. While this fact was, and is, sad, surf fans couldn’t help but feel a rush of emotion, of hope that maybe Bündchen was on her way back to the world’s greatest surfer, Cocoa Beach’s Kelly Slater.

The Brazilian supermodel and eleven-time world champion had dated during 2005, 2006 and formed the very picture of beauty, brains, international sexy.


And, thus, the aforementioned surf fans have been hanging on every drip, every drop from the saga, finding references to Kelly Slater everywhere. Bündchen was seen sending smoke signals to Slater, saging her car, visiting a faith healer, altering a tattoo, dropping praying hands emoji underneath a comment about love and commitment (or something).

The pure joy but today, now, possible heartbreak looms as a new revelation directly implicates Slater’s life choices as “unaligned.”

Per the New York Post:

Speaking recently to Us Weekly, an insider said friends of Brady, 45, and Bündchen, 42, “are upset” at the Buccaneers quarterback “for going back on his word and coming out of retirement,” referencing his NFL change of heart.

“They hate the way Tom is refusing to bend for Gisele,” the source continued.

Allegations of discord between Brady and Bündchen first surfaced in September, when Page Six exclusively reported that the pair had engaged in heated arguments over his NFL return. A source later stated, however, that their issues have “nothing to do with his decision to return to the NFL,” noting the claims are “sexist.”

“The problems are not due to his decision to play football again — sometimes things are complicated,” the source said.

While glimmers of optimism can be found in the later source, surf fans can’t help but remember when Slater said he was going to retire right after Joel Parkinson said he was going to retire then didn’t.

Let’s choose to still believe, though, that Slater’s past misstep won’t harm our future happiness.

Let’s light five candles each.

Eat, pray, I'm LOVING it!
Eat, pray, I'm LOVING it!

World Surf League CEO Erik Logan reaches peak Erik Logan by suggesting book for legion of fans: “People refer to this book as the business version of Eat, Pray, Love. (Highly recommended!)”

Put your hands together, please.

The World Surf League’s CEO, Erik Logan, delighted his legion of fans, hours ago, by reaching peak Erik Logan. The handsome fifty-something had been getting closer and closer in recent months, after suffering a near-fatal surfing accident in Tahiti, handsomely trimming his beard, rolling out almost unbelievably robust viewership numbers, but nobody thought he would summit this quickly.

Logan lives to surprise, though, and took to Instagram this morning to inspire with a black square reading, “Be aware of self talk & Fight with compassion.” A fine enough sentiment, to be sure, even though the meaning of “self talk” is not necessarily self evident. No matter, as the moment of victory came in the caption which read, “Self Talk is one of the most important things in your daily life. I wanted to share this segment from an interview I did with Ben Feder. Ben is one of the most accomplished business leaders of our time. “Be aware of Self Talk and FIGHT it with Compassion.” Currently, he’s the President of International Partnerships at Tencent and an acclaimed author. (Among many other things!) His book, “Take Off Your Shoes: One man’s journey from the boardroom to Bali and back is a must-read. People refer to this book as the business version of Eat, Pray, Love. (Highly recommended!).”

And there we have it. Highly recommending the “business version of Eat, Pray, Love.”

Join surfers around the world today in celebration of this momentous accomplishment.

Adams (right) in process of giving man illegal headache.
Adams (right) in process of giving man illegal headache.

In echo of famed surf podcast scuffle, Las Vegas Raiders’ Davante Adams charged with assault after lightly shoving sporting journalist!

The full Goggans.

But who could have ever imagined that a small scuffle, occurring at the very beginning of 2018 between Stab magazine’s Ashton Goggans and BeachGrit’s Chas Smith on a podcast hosted by then single David Lee Scales, would have changed the course of sporting history?

Wild days.

As it was nearly five years ago, now, you may have forgotten the moment when the aforementioned Smith leapt across a reclaimed wooden coffee table at Goggans, who had been saying things he deemed uninformed into a microphone.

The two locked into a light embrace, which included some swaying, some high-pitched “hey man”s until broken up by Scales.

Childish and silly, Smith semi-regretted the encounter until receiving a call from the Orange County Sheriff Department informing him that Goggans was hoping to press assault charges. That he, himself, had called the law and attempted to really teach him a lesson by sending him to jail.

Goggans (right) after becoming lightly scuffled, before calling police.
Goggans (right) after becoming lightly scuffled, before calling police.

That put a right burr under Smith’s saddle and the rest, as they say, is history. A history, unfortunately, repeated days ago on the august gridiron when superstar wide receiver Davante Adams lightly shoved a sporting journalist after a tough loss to the Denver Broncos and was slapped with the law.


Raiders wide receiver Davante Adams has been charged with misdemeanor assault for shoving a credentialed media worker after Monday’s loss in Kansas City to the Chiefs.

Adams was cited for an “intentional, overt act” that inflicted “bodily injury,” according to court records released Wednesday.

The man shoved by Adams, identified by police as Ryan Zebley, suffered whiplash, a headache and a possible minor concussion from the incident, according to records. Zebley was working for ESPN’s Monday Night Football as a freelance photographer.

The charges were filed Wednesday morning in Municipal Court of Kansas City. Adams is due in court Nov. 10.

If convicted, Adams could face a jail term of up to six months or a fine of up to $1,000.

Goggansing, man.