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Slater (pictured) on top of the world at the start of last year. Lined up for the gulag this one. Photo: WSL
Slater (pictured) on top of the world at the start of last year. Lined up for the gulag this one. Photo: WSL

In unexpected scholastic smack, world’s most recognized surfer Kelly Slater tops list of words or phrases that should be “banished” in 2023!

It is what it is.

It is, officially, time to put the old out and bring the new in. To forget the things that annoyed, bothered, were otherwise lame and embrace the fresh and untainted. Thankfully, the faculty of Lake Superior State University in Michigan take it upon themselves to publish a list, annually, of words or phrases that should be banished from the English language.

This year, though, surfers were shocked to find the eleven-time world champion Kelly Slater’s name included at the very tippy top as “GOAT” was, apparently, the most misused, overused or useless.

Per National Public Radio:

“The singularity of ‘greatest of all time’ cannot happen, no way, no how. And instead of being selectively administered, it’s readily conferred,” said Peter Szatmary, a spokesperson for Lake State.

(In the spirit of full disclosure, a review of NPR transcripts revealed at least 17 candidates for the “greatest of all time” on our air in 2022 alone, including soccer players Pelé, Lionel Messi and Diego Maradona, the long-distance runner Eliud Kipchoge, the U.S. track Olympian Allyson Felix, the women’s tennis star Serena Williams alongside a trio of her male colleagues Roger Federer, Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal, the quarterback Tom Brady, the hockey player Wayne Gretzky, NBA standouts Michael Jordan, Lebron James and Bill Russell, the surfer Kelly Slater, the video game Elden Ring and a Pakistani goat with very long ears.)

Lake State’s faculty judges would likely argue that was too many people (and non-people) described as “the greatest of all time.” “Words and terms matter. Or at least they should,” Szatmary said.

Ouch but very sensible.

Slater’s name appeared, here, some 178 times in headlines alone, in 2022 and we might all agree that it was enough but still. It is rare that surfers, surfing, surf make it into the lamestream conversation. To have it in the number one slot of things that need to be banished is… sad.

Following “GOAT,” in any case, were:

2. Inflection point
3. Quiet quitting
4. Gaslighting
5. Moving forward
6. Amazing
7. Does that make sense?
8. Irregardless
9. Absolutely
10. It is what it is

Left off were “vectors” leaving World Surf League CEO Erik Logan quietly fist pumping.

Also “hand jam.”

Joe Turpel equally psyching.

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John Smith

Can we add “lets goooo” to this list?

notsurfingtoday

“I don’t recall / I don’t have any recollection of that”
said while taking the stand, getting away with it. That was pretty common here and there last year.

Wotusay

When someone makes a pronouncement and finishes with “Does that make sense?” I’m already looking for a shovel or baseball bat with which to respond.

tim_nelsen

6 Miles High…lost 33 of products

Mapski

Check out Steve Hunter’s version of Eight Miles High.

tim_nelsen

oh la la

tim_nelsen

whoa…whole new approach! slapping the bass intro…what a jammer. aka radar love

tim_nelsen

tuba players

tim_nelsen

oxy called me/

tim_nelsen

you’re very active lately…spirulina?

tim_nelsen

9.999999999

Stanislav Franck

I think “circle back” used by the David Brents of this world should transmorph into “circle jerk”

As in, “Let’s all go away in our small groups and think things through and circle jerk when we’ve really got something to digest and help us move forward into the future”

tim_nelsen
wacka

Is it too late add ‘lip-line’ to the list

tim_nelsen

into a floater and into the air while dodging the barrel…

samwaters

Funny, when I here the word ‘banished’— I automatically think of Negs—might be his favorite word…

Chief Hot stuff

Gender fluids
Yuk

Beef & Beer

Everyone knows Johnny F is the greatest https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

ricmatic

Remember kids, the GOAT is the one having the most fun*!

*not true

Low wide stinkbug stance

How about:

More as the story develops
More questions than answers

@surfads

Essential.

Mitch Robinson

“Literally” is over used and misused

Low wide stinkbug stance

Websters dictionary changed literally to mean figuratively.

Its a bit like how “could not care less” turned into “could care less.”

tim_nelsen

he’ll need a greenough fin~

@surfads

I’m moving into a new place set on some coast-adjacent rainforest next week. Littorally.

tim_nelsen

take a longboard…(and re-post your ’22 best headliners) need archives~)

Skippy

“Actually…” is another, Bettylou loves saying it about everything but she is far from the only one.

Mitch Robinson

Going for broke?

ricmatic

or Going to town – ugh

Nonagon_Infinity
notsurfingtoday

The goatest

toofattosurf

“cry is free”

Jimmy the Saint

G.O.A.T. is definitely a stupid term! Sick of it, but how can Beachgrit possibly go on if Quite Quitting is banned?


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