Bros but not the successful sort, apparently, save WSL CEO Erik Logan (insert). Photo: Bros film
Bros but not the successful sort, apparently, save WSL CEO Erik Logan (insert). Photo: Bros film

World Surf League brass begin 2023 terrified as Fox News publishes “Go Woke, Go Broke” expose detailing year’s progressive failures!


The World Surf League had an undeniably wonderful year, save asterisks hung on both its male shortboarding and longboarding champions. Wild growth, crazy uptick in partnership vectors, eight million people, and counting, still tuning in to catch September’s Finals Day, but the most colorful feather in that cap is the many social strides made on various social fronts.

Equality, inclusion, recognition, ally-ship, love wins.

Only the hardest of hearts could not stand and applaud but apparently this sort of approach is poison for the bottom line for just this morning Fox News has published an exhaustive list of “liberal books, movies, TV that bombed in 2022.”

Amongst the alleged casualties, Disney’s Strange World, featuring the first openly LGBTQ+ which had a $180 million budget and only made $24 million, the gay rom-com Bros which made maybe nothing, political firebrand Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s climate change documentary which, according to Fox, made $80, amongst many others.

Per Fox and, I guess, Christian Toto:

Christian Toto, editor of, said entertainment projects with “woke” themes tend to turn away audiences.

“The American public is increasingly aware of ‘woke’ Hollywood projects and often steers clear of them. The examples from 2022 include ‘Strange World,’ ‘Lightyear,’ ‘Bros’ and ‘Amsterdam,’” he said.

Netflix and Hulu also canceled “woke shows” and defended comedians that have been attacked by progressives.

“Hulu canceled its original series, literally named ‘Woke,’ after just two seasons. Netflix nixed an animated series based on Ibram X. Kendi’s ‘Anti-Racist Baby’ book. The streaming giant similarly stood up for unwoke comedians like Dave Chappelle and Ricky Gervais, understanding their robust ratings dwarf the attacks on them,” he pointed out.

Well yikes.

Will this string of un-fortune dampen World Surf League financier Dirk Ziff’s passion for doing the right thing?

Professional surfing turning back to the butts n boobs heyday of yore?

Candles lit for not.

Mark Richards at his late-seventies zenith, main photo, and, inset, nasty herpes zoster outbreak.

“Baby-faced” surf icon who loves “sex and tube rides” shocks sports fans with health emergency and photos of “ragingly infected puss-filled back!”

A horror outbreak of herpes-zoster!

Surf fans were left reeling, no, retching, on New Year’ Eve after Australia’s greatest ever surfer, the four-time world champion Mark Richards, posted photos of what was subsequently described by the great Jedaum Smith as his “ragingly infected puss-filled back.”

Richards, a sixty-five-year-old surfer-shaper who dominated pro surfing between 1979 and 1982 and described as “unimposing, with a baby face, thin shoulders, and an extra-long torso”, told fans of his horror herpes zoster, or Shingles, outbreak.

One month into my Shingles outbreak on my back, hip & stomach.

Only a couple of the blister scabs still to heal but I still have the constant burning, itching, numbness & stabbing pain.

Unfortunately i’ve ended up with PHN where even though the skin is nearly healed you are still left with the constant nerve pain which can last for weeks, apparently months in some cases. The pain is constant but at times it can be excruciating.

I’ve been out the water all December & with the amount of pain I’m still experiencing around my stomach I doubt I could lay on a board & paddle.

I’ve been cranky with myself for not taking more notice of the Health department ads on TV warning of the risk of Shingles when your in your 60’s, Stupidly I had barely glanced at them.

I’ve posted my Shingles recovery experience as I’ve had so many enquires on my progress. Also as a warning to talk to your Doctor about it on your next visit. It’s definitely not something to take lightly !!!

On the cusp of his first of four consecutive world titles, Surfer magazine asked Richards what makes him happy.

“Sex and tube rides!” said the cheeky twenty one year old. 

Neither is on the cards, right now, for the champ.


Hero Paul. Photo: Paul Myles
Hero Paul. Photo: Paul Myles

Surfer hailed as hero after picking up spastic shark off sand and returning it to lineup!


Well, it is 2023 now and how did you ring in the new year? With a wild party filled with champagne lit strangers? A quiet affair at home in front of the fire? I enjoyed a prix fixe dinner in Hollywood, right next to either Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen, followed by a nice chat with wonderful friends upstairs while fireworks popped over the rain soaked horizon.

It was wonderful though I was not hailed as a hero during any point of the evening unlike the surfer Paul Myles.

The Australian was surfing off Victoria’s Great Ocean Road when he saw a shark flipping and flapping on the beach. Now, most of us would have either let it be or quietly cheered its demise but not Paul who marched straight up to the beast in order to see if he could help.

“I just thought I’d give it a chance,” he told the Daily Mail. “I wasn’t sure if it was just disorientated or sick or whatever.”

After initially trying to poke it back into the surf with his board, he realized that he was going to have to pick it up, saying, “I thought I’d get it out in the water a bit further out, see if it would swim out to sea but it didn’t seem too well.”

Didn’t seem too well is right, violently spazzing on the sand.

Being a hero, though, Paul picked the shark right up, spazz and all, and waded it out to deeper water where it flicked back out to its home.

The captured video has since gone viral with animal lovers and people with hearts praising hero Paul for his actions. Some are imagining that karma will reward him but isn’t there some story about a crocodile, or alligator, ferrying some animal across a river, eating it midway and declaring “it’s in my nature to do these sorts of things” or some such?

No good deed etc.

The Inertia's LA bureau struggles with the eternal shame of white privilege. "I…I…I'm filled with loathing and self reproach. I feel bloated and empty at the same time."

Surf fans left reeling after fiercely independent and scandal-prone surf-adjacent website sold to big-digital for reported millions!

"Paternalism mixed with dismissiveness ladled with passive-aggression and served warm with the emotional seasoning of a college campus safe space genre."

The online publishing giant AllGear Digital has swooped on scandal-prone website The Inertia, gobbling it up for a deal reportedly worth millions as part of its play to become the biggest online collective  in the “outdoors and active-lifestyle space.”

“Building The Inertia has been one of the most rewarding journeys I can imagine,” said The Inertia’s founder Zach Weisberg, a Virginia Beach surfer who was inspired to launch what would become the template for the vulnerable adult learner tsunami following a talk by the Huff Post’s Arianna Huffington in 2010. “Since day one, we’ve committed to forging great relationships, sharing valuable stories from unique perspectives in a culture we love, and challenging ourselves to embrace new opportunities.”

Weisberg said the AllGear sale was “an intuitive next step… I’m so excited for this new chapter in our evolution.”

It’s been a wild and not always happy climb to the number six slot on the surf website ladder for the tabloid whose audacity often shocked hardened BeachGrit readers, with its use of racist tropes, “foul bait and switch”, “singling out women surfers as perpetrators of lineup violence”, as well as its now famous blood feud with  former world number four Dane Reynolds who responded to a poor review with “In my opinion your review sucked, your site sux, and i’m relieved to never respond to your silly emails again.”

Weisberg’s reply to the charge from Reynolds, wrote Chas Smith, “will go down in history as the pièce de résistance of the paternalism mixed with dismissiveness ladled with passive-aggression and served warm with the emotional seasoning of a college campus safe space genre!”

(Read here.)

No jobs will be lost in the sale, says AllDigital.

Weisberg remains at the helm as General Manager, Joe Carberry and Alex Haro are still gonna wear their Senior Managing Editor and Senior Editor badges and Mark Sawyer-Chu is still SVP of Partnerships.

Nyong'o and Masekela enjoying their "lovely place" for now. Photo: @lupitanyongo
Nyong'o and Masekela enjoying their "lovely place" for now. Photo: @lupitanyongo

Film superstar Lupita Nyong’o and freshly-outed surf broadcaster beau Sal Masekela stun public, purchase apocalyptic “Hotel California” home together!

You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.

But right when you thought that Lupita Nyong’o and Selema Masekela had lost their spot as surfing-adjacent’s hottest couple to Strider Wasilewski’s brother Mescal and Full House darling Jody Sweetin, the movie superstar and her freshly-minted surf broadcaster beau go ahead and crank the burner to wow.

The Hollywood Reporter has revealed that the two just purchased a sprawling $4 million Los Angeles home together.

Per the story:

Hidden securely away behind a steel-gated driveway, on over two-acres of heavily wooded land resting at the end of a secluded one-way street, the contemporary steel, glass and cement structure is described as “self-sustainable” in the listing, complete with its own solar, backup power, home automation and filtration systems. There are four bedrooms and five baths in the three-level living space — all of it boasting floor-to-ceiling walls of glass offering up sweeping ocean, hillside and canyon views.

Particularly standing out is a living room sporting a fireplace and sliding glass doors spilling out to a spacious balcony, as well as a wet bar-equipped dining area. A fireside lounge connects to a gourmet kitchen, which is outfitted with bamboo cabinetry, quartz countertops, an eat-in island, and a plethora of top-tier Viking, Wolf and Sub-Zero appliances.

Congratulations to the happy couple but a few quick worries.

$4 million dollars for a Los Angeles home, especially one sitting on 2.5 acres of land with ocean views, is… hard to comprehend. Like, truly a near impossibility especially when considering top-tier kitchen appliances.

Further research suggests the home is somewhere off Topanga Canyon but sitting at the end of a one way street?

The happy couple could only have purchased the heavily distressed Hotel California.

A place where you can check in anytime but you can never leave.

Light a candle for their safety?