A great mystery.
Kelly Slater’s bonafides as a professional surfer are beyond any sort of dispute. The 51-year-old Floridian is an 11x World Champion, holds multiple Pipeline Masters, one Pro Pipeline, Eddie king, current holder of an exclusive whole season wildcard etc. and many bravos to him. Best to ever do it et. al.
The GOAT’s out-of-water exploits, however, have not gone as wonderfully. Oh sure, he has dated Pamela Anderson, Cameron Diaz and Giselle Bündchen, but married none. Business-wise, it has been a very similar misfire.
K-Grip.
Yikes.
Never undeterred, though, the surf great continues throwing proverbial darts at the board. His latest offering? The cryptically dropped KLLY.
Well what on earth could it possibly be?
What in space, more to the point re. branding?
A rocket company to rival Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk?
Something that would be even more of a failure?
Excited to see.
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When did he stop riding for Pure Juice shoes???
seaofseven.com
Yes. Honolulu high school student. C19 shot guaranteed
Special offer to the first 20 orders placed to go into a draw for (undisclosed number) wild cards to his tub.
(Actual number depends on how many surfers without a chance of making the top 5 actually turn up)
Should call it “SLLY”. Surely I’m not the FRST to think of that
SLTR
see what i did there?
Don’t you mean, “What’ll h think of nxt”?
“Don’t you man,”…
So here’s the press release.
Kelly Slater is launching his new sustainable and performance-based footwear brand KLLY, available for purchase in the US and Canada at KLLY.com starting May 18, the day before the next new moon.
As the founder and driving force behind the brand, Kelly’s passion for sustainability and innovation is reflected throughout the design and production of KLLY products. The first item to hit the market is the sandal, influenced by Slater’s renowned surfing career. Inspired by the relationship between the moon and the ocean, the sandal is made using recycled material, uses BLOOM technology (derived from algae), and provides a high level of cushioning, durability, responsiveness and water resistance.
For the design of the sandal, Kelly was particularly moved by the mysterious and special relationship between the moon and sea turtle. Turtles have 13 large scales that represent the 13 lunar cycles in each year and 28 smaller scales that represent the days in each cycle. As a tribute to these coexisting forces, Kelly designed the top of the sandal to mirror the moon’s surface while the bottom sole represents the turtle’s scales. Additional styles and sizing are set to release later this year.
Tide’s been Low AF lately…
[BARF]
Ol shithead needs some slaps for endorsing that load of bs.
haha holy shit! Slats needs to get off the venture capital dong huffing bandwagon. Sea turtle inspo footwear is soo… 2000 &? something.
Is this real, or something you cooked up in ChatGPT ?
…isn’t THAT special!”
It’s a herpes # 2 treatment. Only to be sold in surf shops and Etsy. Also substitutes for a warm water wax. I believe the working name is Jab by K11yee.
A balm that both sustains erections and cures hepatitis simultaneously?
Taking business tipps from “pottz”?
KLLYrslf
Comment live? Charlie Medina brooding on the beach again and you cunts dropped the fucking ball!
Respect the guy but I don’t think an extreme closeup of his bald head makes for a good ad campaign.
Why can’t we comment on the Sydney Comp?
Ronnie’s dropping bombs like:
“nothing like a good cone in the morning!”
He does like to drop in the odd sex or drug innuendo does Ron ‘dog’.
Remove the two LL’s and you got KY
$100/mo secrets to longevity lifestyle platform. Exercise, diet, supplements, and doctors to prescribe you trt over the internet
Turd sandwich ?
Or giant douche ?
Cute font. Maybe it’s a range of Kelly lookalike Teddy Bears ?
That’s not the moon – it’s a close up of his horribly cratered nose. Kelly is about to launch of a line of breakout prevention products so that others won’t have to live through acne hell.
I was thinking it’s his head and his going into waterproof wigs?
Big market for that in surfing!
Ah yes and good quality wigs will be very important for Klly as he transforms into a woman so he can continue to dominate pro surfing. They gave him a wild card; now he’s taking a walk on the wild side.
and the
coloredback-up singers go: “whoop, dewoop, dewoop, duhba, whoop…”KY Jelly’s lawyers gathering in the war room.
Shit I just saw this after I posted my comment! Dammit
great shit from both of u’s!