Surf Mazraea.
Could it be true? After all these years, all these rumors and whispers, that another Kelly Slater facility is ready to open? Be still my beating heart. A very fine bit of gossip, anyhow, just floated across my radar and that “the plow” has, indeed, already been built in oil rich Abu Dhabi there hugging the Persian or Arabian gulf, depending on your alignment.
The source, almost always correct, declares, “Solid rumor that a new Kelly pool is opening in Abu Dhabi next month. Actually built and real. And also that the wave breaks up to 8-foot – a couple of feet bigger than Lemoore.”
Could it truly truly be?
Touted by the Crown Prince’s news organization as “the biggest and most advanced artificial wave facility in the world,” the surf park will open at the end of 2023.
“Surf Abu Dhabi will be the biggest and most advanced artificial wave facility in the world,” the company said in a statement. “Designed in partnership with Kelly Slater Wave Co., the landmark destination will offer a high-performance surfing experience, featuring the world’s longest ride, biggest barrel, and largest man-made wave pool.”
The Emiratis, tender and downy, will not need that extra girth, but a Middle Eastern tank could change… everything. Have you spent any time in UAE? I have done multiple tours, first heading to Dubai after spending 3ish months in Yemen. It is Blade Runner-y and odd but an event there might actually be interesting plus staffed by Pakistani slaves.
Orientalist.
And could this explain where World Surf League CEO Erik Logan has disappeared off to? For his sake, I hope so. The Bvlgari Resort ain’t a bad place to spend a few hours.
More as the story develops.
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or that. lol
Who needs a wave pool when we’ll soon have a rail line across the Pacific and Indian Oceans, stops in Fiji and the Mentawais. Only available if Biden is re-elected.
You go girl! xoxo
Soooo globey…
Dismember discount yo!
yeah it’s real I just checked the A’buoy readings over there… 2.6m @ 4 minutes.
But will it be better than the new pool in Brazil? I doubt it. Perfectswell has the best technology.
Try eyes holes cut out of what look like trash bags from afar. Is that a woman in that trash bag? WHAT IS THAT?!?!?
RUN… ITS GOT A TIMER
I will/would never get used to that!
So many sticks for Chas to chase here: human rights abuse, misogyny, climate change (evaporation issues are going to be ridiculous) and not least the truly bizarre architectural drawing to promote the thing! I’ve been looking at this thing for a solid 5 minutes… lots to be said. At least 8 stories worth! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
you can see it on google earth. not sure how much bigger than leemore it is, but it looks BIG.
The pieces are coming togther in such a ” golfing” way.
I’d still like to know what happened to the tank they bought in Austin. Seems like a bold purchase just to shut down the competition.
Surely he’ll wait to drop it the day after Joao wins the title.
The “World Champ “ has a lion tattoo on his chest and won’t drop in!!!!
Hear him meow!
Surfline forecast calling it “biggest ever” at 8ft.
the heat is often unbearable. I just finished branding and graphics for a skate park there and skaters only showed up as it was getting dark, tho i didn’t notice it any cooler. bus shelters are air-conditioned so u don’t die waiting for your bus. plans are underway to air condition a nearby beach as well. there is no visible crime.
marraiges are often still arranged by parents, usually the mom’s. people spend their holidays at a huge mall that has its own hotel so you never have to go outside. there is a thriving art and resturant scene. they never have clouds, so the air/sky is always kinda. l.a. smogish looking, minus the cooling down at night thing. it’s a fascinating place to visit, definitely worth a trip . + you can be sure the wave pool will mostly live up to its hype ,it’s how they build things there. no expense spared.
a “massage” in your own hotel room, after u pay for the taxi, starts at $800.
Whats the power source?
Earl of course!! Black Gold. Texas Tea. You think Anwar and Muhammad give two wives about renewables while drowning in petroleum?
Whats the power source he says LOLOL…Two Caterpillar 20cyl Diesel Power Plants running 24/7, with probably four more as backups.
I luv fossils!!!
Damn it feels like our world is in hyper speed change mode.
Crazy listening to all the anti LIV tour guys condemning blood oil money etc etc only to wake up last week to find out they have all been sold out.
Whats sacred?
Sold out… the WSL cancels one of the best surfers on the planet…Bethany… and not one surfer on tour has the balls to call it out…. Really
Scott Bass and all these woke mofos are the biggest hypocrites ever… Green washing,dollar chasing cunts… it’s okay. Just don’t preach
Everyone should visit Abu Dhabi once in life.
Just remember they throw gays off rooftops, and still have black slaves. Have a nice cement pond session,….if you have $20k…
Muslims are so hot right now
So Dave Carson sez. It’s the heat, not the humidity.
True surfer swag
Still waiting on your article explaining the nuanced intricacies of Caroline Marks’s mind numbing and sleep-inducing cookie cutter backhand hack that gets all the WSL judges creaming themselves.
That swinging back arm is something. I mentioned it to my kids and now they can’t unsee it.
Pump, spaz, air…. Great visuals.
JP is in love with the new no style crowd…he might teach English but neglect history
This, Catie Simmers got robbed… best female at 17… wtf
I would burn my secret libertarian membership card if I could impose a planetary ban on women riding shortboards. As Christian F. aptly pointed out, their body geometry just isn’t right for it. Of course that was over 40 years ago, but truth is timeless.
As king, I’d allow some exemptions: Carissa, Stephanie, couple others, but the vast majority on the distaff side surf better on logs. And look more stylish.
So let it be written, so let it be done.
you could make weird back-washy things, M Ho would looooove it
Thank god they finally made a longer version.