“It might take me a couple of weeks to get it off, but it’s all for a good cause.”
You never wanna get hit by motor neurone disease, one of the cruellest ways to slowly descend into a cauldron of misery. If you want evidence, watch any sorta video of the theoretic physicist Stephen Hawking, who lived with MND for fifty-five years, body increasingly twisted and ugly while his brilliant mind stayed forever sharp.
Mick Fanning, who is fit as a trout and as strong as a bear, meanwhile, has joined a who’s who of Australian celebrities, including Hollywood superstar Eric Bana, to help raise money to support Australian football legend Neale Daniher’s Fight MND campaign.
Fanning, who turned forty-two yesterday and whose staggering wealth had him crowned “one of the most successful post-retirement business athletes in Australia” stripped to a sexy shimmery leotard, covered himself in silver body paint and plunged into a pool filled with freezing water in front of tens of thousands of Australian football fans.
Although a firm fan favourite, analysis from Fox commentators was less than kind, sending the three-time world champ a rare defeat, finishing ninth from nine.
Costume: The ‘Silver Surfer’ from the old Marvel Comics. Brave choice to go topless with silver body paint and silver pants on a cold Melbourne day for a plunge into an icebath. Jonathan Brown though said it was a “missed opportunity” there was no inflatable shark in the water.
Entry and splash: Great facial expression before entry and tried to generate speed for a large entry. But he held onto the board for the full slide, which cost him.
Best quote: “I was thinking of wearing something minimal and getting really, really cold. It might take me a couple of weeks to get it off, but it’s all for a good cause.”
The last time we heard from Mick on these pages, of course, was three weeks ago when it was revealed filmmakers Nick Pollet and Vaughan Blakey, whose stop-motion epic The Greatest Surf Movie in the Universe has taken the surfing world by storm, spared Fanning the humiliation of full-frontal nudity.
“All the surfers fully trusted us on a level that was, I think, they knew we wouldn’t cook ‘em, in the way they present their lives and careers and their brand,” Vaughan said. All we did was amplify the perception of who they are. We knew we could flare up with Jack and Wilko.”
Why did Jack get a jock pussy and Wilko a noble shaft with a great thick cord, enlarged, charged, aching to get sucked?
“Toss of a coin,” said Vaughan. “At the premiere of the movie in Queensland someone asked Wilko if he liked the movie and he said, well, I could be biased ‘cause I have a huge cock in it but I loved it!”
Freestone, meanwhile, “was soooo stoked he had the tiny dick. He had such a good sense of humour about the dick. Fuck, it’s life imitating art!”
“We knew we couldn’t put a dick on Mick, no dick on Mick, basically, so Jack and Wilko were the only guys we could put dicks on.”
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