"Looking over, I noticed a Rolex Submariner with its band caught under a rock."
The crush on Rolexes is the damndest thing although I ain’t immune. A decade back after selling one story for five gees I gave in to the pressures of status and sent off for an Air King, bought in Italy in 1962 and lovingly tended to by its owner for fifty years.
It’s a subtle sorta watch, I don’t get no comments except from elderly homosexual men, wizened like winter apples, who chance upon it while stroking my wrist.
Recently, after completing a private commission for a billionaire I expected, beside the generous renumeration of one-hundred thousand dollars, a parting gift of a Rolex. It would be, likely, a simple white golf Yacht-Master, roughly eight thousand American dollars.
It didn’t happen ‘cause as my billionaire pal said, “There’s a one-year waiting list!”
I would’ve waited! Oy vey!
Anyway, the longboard surfer Matt Cuddihy didn’t have to melt no credit card or wait around to drop his ten gees after finding a slightly worse for wear though not catastrophically wounded Rolex Submariner 5513 wedged under a rock near some lost surfboard fins at Noosa Heads, a monied holiday hamlet a couple of hours north of Brisbane.
“I was just snorkelling around the same areas I normally go to in Noosa, and there seemed to be a bit of sand that had shifted and exposed more rocks than normal. I found seven surfboard fins wedged between rocks. Looking over, I noticed a Rolex Submariner with its band caught under a rock. The glass was partially frosted over from the sand moving around it for so long,” Cuddhiy told our pals at watch site Fratello.
He ain’t a treasure collector so much as an aquatic garbage man, howevs.
“Everyone has different experiences in nature, and for me, growing up in a place that is surrounded by national parks and beautiful beaches has shaped my life to where I am today. Taking care of the wild places is everyone’s responsibility… I have been snorkelling around the points when there is no surf. Mostly just looking at fish and visiting the local turtles, I started noticing an influx of things that shouldn’t be there. So now I try to snorkel once a week with a mesh bag and fill it with garbage that ends up wedged in the rocks. Mostly surfboard fins and fishing lures. I normally post my treasures on Instagram, and through that, I have reunited one surfboard fin to a guy that had lost his at the same spot that I found one which was in perfect condition. Then a few weeks back, [I reunited] an Apple Watch with a local guy that lost his in a recent swell.”
Cuddihy, who is currently rated 92nd on the longboard tour, says he’s been inundated with messages concerning the miracle Swiss watch although, so far, no claims on the fins.
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Fucking hell. Did the protagonist actually say those things with his mouth and tongue? Fucking hell. The world is fucked. We are fucked. When did brainless get so earnest, windy and unfunny. We are fucked. Fucking hell. Fucking helles.
the hell with brand names. while describing a patch of growth that swamped the sw coast of the UK.
…A BBC anchor profusely apologized after an environmentalist corrected
him on-air Friday for using the offensive term “seaweed” when referring
to “marine algae.”
Further along, the author Beege Welborn pulls a DR-CS spin ’bout some sci-fi books. One was C.F. Forester’s “Hornblower” series and the other was a little volume of short stories called “Shatterday” by Harlan Ellison.
In the Ellison book, one of the stories is called “How’s the Nightlife on Cissalda.” It’s an absolutely ribald, rude little tale about an astronaut who is shot out into space, lands on Planet Cissalda, and encounters an alien lifeform. When his capsule comes back to Earth and the NASA techs get it open, they are horrified to see Enoch Marin “doing a disgusting thing WITH a disgusting thing.”
The astronaut is wrapped in the embrace of a noxious creature who also just happens to be the perfect purveyor of sexual pleasure. Said astronaut has no intention of ever leaving his intergalactic companion. He is orgasmic and oblivious.
Trust the guy from geneva to know this!
Isn’t 8k American like 16k Oz now? Time to make a trip south I say.
If it was me those things who would be off instagram and straight onto craigslist. If they can’t keep a fin on there board or a watch on there wrist they don’t deserve them anyways.
Returned a 70’s Daytona back once because I didn’t feel like I deserved it..
Someone edit the photo to include a bunch of endor fins and tag the great man himself.
not JJF. this is more Mason~like. his fins. his watch? scavenger is in 98th place? WSL will give him a ‘wildcard’ to keep searchin…?
Go buy another shitbox Audi!
Black face Submariner? Yeah, I lost one of them at Noosa. Stoked Matty found it for me. Send it to Dez and I’ll pick it up. We can Rolex wank together.
Dutch Rolex! Ahhh thank you! I’m here all week!
Guiness works
I once had a NYC career street scammer teach me how the ‘movement’ works in a genuine Rolex versus a fugazzi. Sharing that, and a bunch of other details earned my respect so I paid him for his time.
That same trip, I was almost murdered by the giant sons of an old Iranian fellow I accused of hawking fake Persian rugs. I knew the rug was legit, but his hard-sell tactics pissed me off. I did what anybody does in a bad deal – insult the seller lol.
I didn’t budge on my offer, and I made sure the scene was brought out into public view so his son’s couldn’t fillet me. Oh boy did they want to gut this infidel. I got the rug at MY price and that old man cursed me something fierce in Farci. I love that rug!
Fakes for everything are so good nowadays, you almost need to keep one foot in the underworld to know what’s what anymore.
Same thing happened to us in Morocco. Got shanghaied into some shitty shop to by trinkets so my gf lowballed him with one dirham. He kept saying, no, give me your best price! And she was shat off saying “one dirham” (it was some piece of shit we didnt even want, and one dirham was like 10 cents).
Then he gets all outraged and goes “do you think I’m a beggar? Get out!!!” The tout who dragged us in there goes “uh, it’s time to leave!!”
Gotta watch how you handle all your biz anywhere you go.
You don’t want that store keep agitated. Offended, worse.
GF insulted him, expect push back.
Well his “nephew” dragged us in there and they were both being cunts giving us the hard sell. Fuck em.
Place is a shit show due to euro tourists overpaying for centuries.
Interesting country and nice scenery but the people are absolute cunts and even if you do somehow get offered “traditional Moroccan hospitality” there’s always a catch. Most dishonest people i’ve ever dealt with. Way worse than Egypt.
Focus on surfing and leave all that crap behind.
TYVM. Best advice EVER. Love you Broseph.
only ones complaining are the ones who can’t surf here
Why would you want to surf HERE?!.!
Its 100% onshore, flat with raw sewage year round.
Can u lend us 50 bucks?
Who is us – You got a mouse in your pocket?
Kid at my school once found a used condom during a clean up Australia day clean up near the local footy oval.
Cunt thought it was a balloon tried to blow it up and got a mouthful of jizz, fuck it was funny