Karma is my boyfriend.
It is summer in the northern hemisphere, that time of year when the ocean water warms, the sun shines and more people than should consider giving our surfing a go. Those amongst us who live in California, Florida, Hossegor are used to soft-topped hordes invading from June through August and generally know how to steer clear. Those living in New York have been spared the indignity mostly because it is such a pain to travel in The City with a surfboard.
The locals who are lucky enough to live on the strand have been able to enjoy that warm water, occasional pulses of swell, sauerkraut festooned hot dogs all by themselves.
Or, at least until just hours ago for, just hours ago, the universally adored congresswoman, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, or AOC, took to social media to declare, “Just took a surfing lesson on Rockaway Beach in Queens. It was great. If you’re looking for something new to try, I recommend it! You can take the A train straight there.”
Nine-ish million residents from all five boroughs are now, certainly, rushing to the A train ready to taste the sweet life. Locals shrieking, sobbing, wondering what evil they committed to deserve such punishment. Were they not grateful enough for their quiet paradise?
Too cocky?
Speaking of, did I ever tell you about the time I stole a pair of trunks from Balaram Stack’s dresser? I was in New York on assignment for Surfing magazine with the wonderful then-editor Taylor Paul. We were staying in The City but made it out to Long Beach because we heard, or rather he heard, that there was a little swell in the water. I hadn’t packed any trunks but Paul told me not to worry. We went to the Stack house and nobody was home. The door was unlocked so we went upstairs into Balaram’s bedroom. I fished around and found a pair of blue trunks with a red drawstring (pictured above) that were New York Giants branded. They were a little baggy for my taste but stealers can’t be choosers and so I wore them.
The End.
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The dumbest politician in the USA
How many more false insinuations based on contrived evidence is the prototypical socialist capable of? Answer: Infinite
I bet you swallowed RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA hook, line and sinker. You know, the useful idiots will be first to the gulags, right?
Look like you are surfing in a pair of trackie pants!! and geez you got plenty of tough stickers on!!!
Def wouldn’t want to get in a slap fest with you
There ya go .. uber VAL.
She prob thinking ‘bout Elo’s vacancy
*ps Bal Stack a kingpin
Well, at least AOC is all set for those infamous surf industry all-white parties.
https://www.wnd.com/wp-cont…
she is so hot, anything she does, anything.
Quite different from your boy DeSantis’ all white parties.
Attracting the best of the best! https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Hollywood Writer’s Guild: ON STRIKE!
Let’s drop cluster bombs and fuck over the citizenry for decades
You do realize your favorite enjoyers of genocide, Putin’s criminals have been doing that for years? What should they do? Appease the mad czar and line up to be taken into filtration camps? You were perfectly happy to be fucking up civilians in the middle east for two decades, but when a European ALLY OF OURS wants to defend itself from a genocidal invasion of conquest all of s sudden you are a pacifist? The reason you don’t like Ukraine is that Ze wouldn’t manufacture fake evidence against Biden for Donnie. Probably butthurt to find out the so called whistleblower you guys lost was a fucking illegal arms dealer Chinese spy on the run from the law.
Weak deflection.
wailing at the wall, er, fence. i know where the lit candle should go…
Not so much wailing these days..even though there’s WAY MORE kids and more kid deaths in custody
I would lick AOC like an ice cream cone, delish
jeez it’s enough to turn ya trump
What the professional ding-bat propagandist didn’t share are the PM’s from her handlers promoting Cuber and Chiner as the new surfing meccas. Coming soon…
Who is the consensus pick for J Bay?
Public service announcement:
There is NO PARKING in the West End of Long Beach.
You’re welcome.
Skudin or Locals?
I can try and find out.
How good is it really, just between us….?
Long Beach?
The 2011 Quik pro is probably as good as it gets unless you want to surf a Nor’Easter swell in the dead of winter.
It’s terrible, don’t bother.
Classic technique, well done.
I watched Woody Allen’s Radio Days. It was set in Rockaway Beach! Looked like the type of place that if you tried surfing there for your first time you would never want to surf again! AOC is doing a public service here!
Waze took me through the Rockaways two weeks ago.
Can’t go two lights without a speed camera.
Makes me thankful that I live on this side of the Atlantic Beach Bridge.
Surfed there once about 7 years ago on a small summer day and it was already a zoo full of clueless beginners. Can’t imagine what the post-Covid situation is like there.
Can confirm
Cameo appearence by Frrok on BeachGrit. Boardporn is probably jealous.
I’m having NYNJSurf flashbacks, where’s Seacliff
When give surf lessons to politicians, you only increase the chances that they’ll try to introduce legislation to regulate surfing.
Still remains to be seen if this is better or worse than techbros turning lineups into an economy.
commoditizing a line up, legislating a line up, it’s all bad news.
Ashton Goggans must be in tears of joy knowing an inclusive queen like AOC has now transcended into the world of surfing. Sarah Brady may be dethroned after all.
Now that’s the worthless kind of BG article we are all used to.
You didn’t find my story about Balaram Stack inspiring? What if I told you that his middle name is Augustus?
Without pics of AOC’s surfing, how can we cretins critique her likely low, wide stink bug style?
She’s pioneering a new style…
Crazy Eyes.
Spot on and I only focus on her eyes!
But as much as she annoys me she definitely qualifies for the crazy/hot matrix.
Something about that college video…
He’s been globetrotting promoting his movie but if I see him around town I’ll remind him that your balls shared the same pair of trunks.
It’s a veritable tulip in the toilet bowl.
You inspire me everyday with your tenacity towards the worthless.
Did you atleast return the trunks there dick-bob?
I live in LB. How was your surf?
Phenomenal! Though I recall a real heavy current sucking down the beach.
“RIP meaning. You had a good run.”