Slater (right) informed of his fall. Photo: WSL
Slater (right) informed of his fall. Photo: WSL

Surf censor king Kelly Slater put on notice as rapper Cam’ron blocks 27,000 users on Instagram in single day!

There's a new rejector in town.

Kelly Slater, considered by many to be the world’s best ever athlete, is a magnificent specimen. Tan, handsome, talented. A history of dating supermodels including, but not limited to, Gisele Bündchen (one more candle, please), eleven surfing championship titles, homes in Oahu, Florida plus on Australia’s Gold Coast and the greatest censor seen since Stalin.

Cross the boy from Cocoa Beach and he will ruthlessly block you from his social media channels. Sometimes, the offender is notified with a direct, “And now you are blocked.” Oftentimes not and rooty-tooties are simply left out in the cold, learning of their fate when searching Kelly Slater and only finding “user no longer found.”

Sad.

It happens early and happens often, many considering Slater to be the blocking GOAT.

Hakeem Olajuwon-esque.

Until this week, that is, when a new force emerged, making’s Slater’s efforts seem entirely little league.

And let us meet Cam’ron.

The 47-year-old rapper, who hails from New York City, and has sold over 2 million albums worldwide when on an absolute tear, blocking 27,000 followers in a single day.

Per Vibe:

Cam’ron has dubbed himself “Petty Murphy” after blocking thousands of people on social media for merely liking unflattering comments about him.

On Sunday (Aug. 27), the Harlem native shared a screen recording of his phone as he was in the midst of restricting nearly 12,000 users’ access to his Instagram account, which currently sits at 2.9 million followers.

“My Sunday mornings.. Blocking everyone who ‘liked’ a slick comment about me,” the 47-year-old captioned the post. “Then I block the person who made the comment last,” he added. “I’m at 11,876 people so far. And I have a flight to catch. So I’ll have more time. I’ll probably tap out at 27k today.”

This isn’t the first time the Come Home With Me rapper has revoked access to his Instagram page. In 2021, he claimed to have blocked nearly 200,000 accounts for similar reasons. “Don’t ever feel bad about blocking somebody. It’s your page. It’s your sh*t. Sometimes people are too opinionated on your sh*t,” the Dipset leader said at the time.

Wow.

But do you think Slater, who is known to be extremely competitive, will try to match Cam’ron or will he quietly lay down his shield?

Also, if Cam’ron has adopted the name Petty Murphy, what might Slater be called?

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Daddy of Filipe Toledo admits champ’s fear of Teahupoo in raw new interview, “He is afraid of hitting the bottom”

"The fear he has is hitting himself there and suffering an irreversible injury."

Two weeks ago, biz as usual for world champ Pip Toledo in Tahiti ladelling, as Smith described it, “shame onto World Surf league Championship trophy yet again with timid Teahupoo performance.” 

His round of sixteen heat against local wildcard Mihimana Braye, surfing in his first ever contest, featured the exact same timidity the cowardly lion has displayed in each of his trips to “The End of the Road.”

There he bobbed, holding priority, while Braye paddled, dropped, became barreled and was spat into applause. There he took off on a small closeout just to hand that priority over and not be forced into actually trying.

There he lost 15.50 to 5.73

It was a shameful display and would be semi-forgiven if Toledo finally, and for the first time, admitted that Teahupo’o terrifies him.

Well, Smith’s wish almost came true yesterday with the re-appearance of Ricardo Toledo, daddy of the champ who gained many fans years ago with his no-holds barred blood feud with the big-wave surfer Alex Gray.

“Sorry, Gray, I think you wanting suck my dick!” Ricardo posted, along with a photo of himself in a bikini brief. “Sorry but will not give. I am well settled sexually, and besides, my wife will you!! Fuck yourself…”

Now, on a Portuguese podcast Ricardo has admitted Pip’s fear of the iconic Tahitian wave is real. 

“The truth is that he is afraid of hitting the coral bottom. That is the fear he has, of hitting himself there and really hurting himself and suffering an irreversible injury. It’s something that stays in his head… He’s already surfed big Waimea and Pipeline. He doesn’t have the know-how like John John has, like Medina has or as Italo acquired over the years. It is something that we know but at no time does it detract from the quality of the athlete that he is.”

Although it doesn’t explain his zero heat in 2015, Pip’s brave act of cowardice as it were, Ricardo says his son’s timidity this year was to save himself prior to Final’s Day.

“His focus is on the world tour final and another world title. Now is not the time to show that you throw yourself at Teahupoo. Look what happened with Ethan Ewing… You have to know the moment to expose yourself and the time in which can expose yourself.”

A start yes? Acceptance etc.

Ricardo also said he’d be setting up a large tent at Lowers adjacent to the judging platform “to put pressure on” the five men charged with scoring the Final, and has told Filipe if he wins the second title he’ll do an Ironman event, forty-two k run, 180 k’s on a bike and a four-k swim to celebrate.

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"Ha, ha, yes, I am your best friend, your brother, yes yes!" | Photo: @tsherms/Steve Sherman

Small-wave king Filipe Toledo’s surprise push-back against suggestion Gabriel Medina be gifted vacant Final’s day spot, “(Medina) had 10 chances to win the points needed to be in the Finals”

"I don't think it's fair," says Toledo.

The reigning world champion surfer and king of all waves two feet and under, Filipe Toledo, has shocked surf fans after pushing back, hard, against any suggestion countryman Gabriel Medina should slide into the Final 5 if Ethan Ewing don’t make it. 

Toledo, the twenty-eight-year-old father of two and one of the sport’s most delicate organisms, made the inflammatory comments to Lucas D’Assumpção, from Waves.com.br.

According to Toledo, rules are rule, what can I do etc. 

“The format was created… so you have to be prepared for it at the beginning of the year. My constancy comes, I’m looking for all the best results to guarantee my first place in the Finals,” he said. “I know that there is a possibility of me losing the world title, that theoretically I would have already won if it was on consecutive points, but I already knew that from the beginning and I was already prepared psychologically.

He added, “I think the format is really cool, I think it’s very cool and brings a lot of visibility is something that can bring an opportunity to our sport in the long term”.

But as for triple world champ Medina getting a ride into the Final Five,

“There was all this buzz if Ethan isn’t going to make it, Gabriel has to come in. Obviously I really wanted Gabriel, John John, Yago, everyone to be in the finals,” said Toledo.

“But man, they surfed all year, they had 10 chances to win the points needed to be in the finals and they didn’t and then because of the other being third, 20,000 points ahead, he gets hurt and they still have a chance to enter. I don’t think it’s fair, I think that if you didn’t get the necessary score to play in the Finals, you don’t get to be there.”

Inflammatory, no? Where’s the Brazilian brotherhood?

The point is moot, anyway, because Ethan gonna make miracle recovery and scare hell out of Pip at four-foot Lowers. 

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Shock twist in racism row after “lynching” of Black surfer’s board!

“I’ve seen this guy almost seriously injure multiple people including children.”

The pretty little beach town of Jupiter in Palm Beach, Florida, is a tinderbox tonight after the apparent lynching of a black surfer’s board in an act of “racially motivated vandalism”.

Story is: Andrew Sherlock, a goofy footer with a wide stance reminiscent of Waimea Bay superhero Eddie Aikau, runs into a little heat in the surf. Crackers steal board and nail it to a damn tree as if it were 1925 and the three-million strong Klan were still hunting blacks, flamboyant homosexuals, Jews, Asians, Catholics, abortionists and so on.

“White supremacy is a sickness, a vile thing that rears its head in so many ways,” posted @black.surfers. “@sherlockdown is a Black surfer, father, and husband, and was subjected to racially motivated vandalism and a symbolic lynching of his board. You heard that right. White surfers in Jupiter, Florida, took his board and nailed it to this tree and said it was a message. @sherlockdown says it was someone from the Jupiter surf crew. For those in that area, that may know who did this, who do not want the actions of a few to stain the perception of their community, please come forward so we may demand an apology and acknowledgement of the pain they have caused. In Andrew’s words:

“This is how real the racism and hate is in Jupiter, Florida. They can’t stand to see a Black man in their waters. I was told I’m not welcome. Stole my board when I turned my back and they did this. Said it was a message. They nailed it to the tree like a lynching.

I took the board down, stayed and surfed the whole day with a small board to show face. A few locals that were there were apologizing and agreed it was wrong. They did said, after what happened, I’m welcome to surf their waters freely and no one will bother me. I’m just going to leave it in God’s hands”

Wild yeah?

The Inertia got into it, as you’d imagine, pointing out surfing is racist from head to toe, referencing Miki Dora wearing an Army surplus German uniform from World War II fifty years ago as proof.

“Racially motivated incidents in the world of surfing are part of a long history of prejudice associated with the sport,” wrote Cooper Gregan.

But the recent history of fake race hate crimes in the US should stir a little scepticism, no? Jussie Smollet? Bubba Wallace? Bells ringing?

What’s the other side of the supposed hate crime?
.
“This is completely out of context. Surfers in Jupiter are far from racist. Get your facts straight before you post this shit and accuse people with these false accusations,” writes @bmurray561, a surfer followed by Florida superstar Evan Geiselman. “If someone is dangerous in a line up I don’t care if they are white, black, purple, or blue something will be said. As a local here I’ve seen this guy almost seriously injure multiple people including children. He’s very misleading…Acts nice and calm on camera. But, in the water it’s a different story. Instead of apologizing he’s tried to fight multiple people saying “you don’t want this smoke” all when he was in the wrong. We have been nothing but nice and inviting to him. It’s terrible this page has to flip the script and pull the racial card before knowing the facts. That being said we will like to see him out there enjoying the same sport as we all do…Just needs to get his surfing etiquette cleaned up some.”

And, from a Robert Powell,

“Heinous is trying to assault kids. Heinous is not showing respect to locals, heinous is screaming and cussing and trying to act tough to kids, heinous is playing the race card when this was a kind act juxtaposed to what the clown deserved. Anyone that has surfed a local spot knows that a beat down for trying to hurt people, acting tough, assaulting kids, running your mouth and being an overall ass clown is what’s normal. This was grace nailing the board to a tree. Only an actual racist would link this to a effing lynching. But hey racists see racism everywhere, when you’re a hammer everything looks like a nail. Freaking enabling scum.”

And, from the handful of comments on The Inertia’s story.

“A quick summation from someone who was out in the water that day, guy was burning everyone and when someone would say something to him he would immediately call them racist. He ended up colliding with a local on a wave that was clearly his fault. They told him to go in or down the beach where he couldn’t hurt anyone. He proceeded to try and fight them. He went in and put his board in his car then went back to the board walk to talk to the kid he collided with, there were about 15 other people around. They ended up talking it out, the guy apologized and they fist bumped each other (there’s a video of this). He went back to his car and his board was gone. The kid he collided with and a few locals helped him look for the board. Not condoning anyone in this situations behavior, just wanted to give an accurate account of what went down.”

Two things: getting excited over two-foot waves in Florida displays a terrible inelegance and maybe doing the board in a tree thing ain’t the best optics?

Or straight-up racism, hate crime etc?

Where do you fall?

 

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Surf fans thrill for coming “Battle over Beard Oil” as Quiksilver, Billabong, RVCA set to challenge Hurley’s market dominance!

Halcyon days here again!

We are but hours away from Authentic Brands Group official purchase of Boardriders and, already, surf fans are celebrating. As you know, the ABG juggernaut, owners of the Shaquille O’Neill, Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, though not Marilyn Manson licenses (Manson’s has grown icky) and valued over $20 billion dollars, became excited by Boardriders, home to Billabong, Quiksilver, RVCA and decided to acquire months ago.

After a few hiccups, the deal will be finalized on Aug. 31 and announced to the world by a dumping of Billabong and RVCA shirts into Costco, surf fans buying them up for pennies on the dollar.

What thrills even more, however, is the anticipated “Battle for Beard Oil” with rival Hurley.

Bob’s baby, acquired by Bluestar Alliance in 2019, immediately pivoted factories from best-in-class boardshorts to inflatable pool toys, fingernail clippers and, of course, men’s grooming products.

It has come to dominate the surf-branded unnecessary and landfill-ready market so much that, for the past four years, surf fans felt that they would only have one option for Chinese-made reading glasses.

Now, with Quiksilver, Billabong, RVCA, Volcom (purchased by ABG in a separate deal) all ready to make junk, which will rise to the top?

The early money has to be on RVCA. The “balance of opposites” already pivoted, successfully, to the fight game, years upon years ago and I’d imagine various creams and salves can be put on the market straight away.

Like Goldbond but hip.

Quiksilver might be a sneaker, though, with the “mountain and the wave” the best logo of the bunch and ready to adorn bottles of fingernail polish or baby teething toys.

Billabong?

I don’t really see it.

You?

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