Champion surfer Joel Tudor in shock after Snoop Dogg announces he’s “giving up smoke”

A stunningly sad day. But a flicker of hope?

Joel Tudor is many things, of course, but first and foremost San Diego’s own is a surf champion. The longboarder, currently 47-years-young, was the youngest ever to win a contest, at fifteen, and also the oldest to ever win a tour season at forty-five. He won the fabled U.S. Open of Longboarding eight times and even founded his whole own league, the Duct Tape Invitational, in 2010, which he has won.

Joel Tudor’s two other passions, jiu-jitsu and smoking marijuana, are tied for second and so you can imagine the black belt’s stun when famous marijuana ambassador, Snoop Dogg, announced yesterday that he was saying goodbye to the weeds.

The Long Beach rapper took to Instagram posting a moving photograph signaling the move.

“After much consideration & conversation with my family,” the multi-platinum artist penned, “I’ve decided to give up smoke. Please respect my privacy at this time.”

Tudor, clearly in shock, trying to will away the horror, commented, “April fools is a few months away.”

Now, imaging the nimble-footed cross-stepper alone in his darkened room, tears streaming down cheeks, is more than I can think. Thankfully, and for the first time in my life, I can provide relief.

Yesterday, you see, my wife, an important agent regularly smeared by the Committee for Equity in Women’s Surfing, was attending a Paris Olympic event at Universal Studios with her client Jagger Eaton. Snoop, who deftly called action for the Tokyo Games, was also there. The two got to talking, then took a picture together. As she got close to the Huggy Bear, she smelled the unmistakable fragrance of cannabis.

“You did not give up smoke,” she said.

He just smiled his Buddha-like smile and whispered, “For a day.”

And so, Joel Tudor, spark one up and rest easy.

Love,

Chas Smith