Taylor Swift (left) with Bryan West while Nick Carroll and Sam George re-think everything. Photo: Bryan West
Taylor Swift (left) with Bryan West while Nick Carroll and Sam George re-think everything. Photo: Bryan West

Surf journalists rue bad choices as newspapers hire Taylor Swift reporters!

"Where did we go wrong?"

Heartache is currently ripping through every house that a surf journalist calls home. Brothers Sam and Matt George Skyping, earnestly questioning the value of their divine drippings. Sean Doherty slamming his head against his Michael Peterson shrine. Nick Carroll telling his brother Tom that he wishes he was never born.

Much despair.

Yes, what was once a vaguely passable occupation has devolved into an embarrassing horror. A blighted landscape bathed with the flickering glow of Surfer magazine’s AI powered masthead. Where did we all go wrong? What could we have done differently?

It starts and ends in Nashville, as it turns out.

Taylor Swift Rules Everything

Newspapers, which have been busily firing people for decades now, have flipped a U-turn and are hiring again. Not surf journalists or political hacks or foreign correspondents, no, but dedicated Taylor Swift reporters.

Gannett, the largest newspaper chain in the country, announced it was desperately seeking a cub to solely discuss the most popular woman on the planet two months ago. After hundreds of applications, Bryan West from Phoenix, Arizona was pegged.

“I would say this position’s no different than being a sports journalist who’s a fan of the home team,” West told Variety. “I just came from Phoenix, and all of the anchors there were wearing Diamondbacks gear; they want the Diamondbacks to win. I’m just a fan of Taylor Swift and I have followed her her whole career, but I also have that journalistic background: going to Northwestern, winning awards, working in newsrooms across the nation. I think that’s the fun of this job is that, yeah, you can talk Easter eggs, but it really is more of the seriousness, like the impact that she has on society and business and music.”

He believes that the “biggest moment of contention” is going to be Taylor Swift’s “hidden vault songs.”

What do you think it will be?

More importantly, how would Sam George cover Taylor Swift?

Exciting to ponder.

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tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

Bryan West hearts Sabrina Carpenter who hates catholics who hate jews who hate palis’ who hate ‘merica who hates itself who hates BG who hates Sam. Gotta love Miley tho!

In upcoming college football: Nashville over Oklahoma over Alabama over USC over Notre Dame over Georgia over Arizona. Blonde cheerleaders for the win!

TUSK.

Stick man
Stick man
2 years ago

Nice exchange!…waiting on scores

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

bi-valves are bigger than both of us…need PVC? schedule 30?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

some point east…others west. um. oysters/

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

banger sisters and tacos? on a Tuesday?

c4
c4
2 years ago

Haha. Yea she was pretty young looking back on it.

Rocks local
Rocks local
2 years ago

Anything involving Guinness and Irish whiskey is bound to be the show of a lifetime.

Rocks local
Rocks local
2 years ago

definitely more interesting than a funeral.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
2 years ago

“After hundreds of applications, Bryan West from Phoenix, Arizona was pegged.”

By the looks of him, perhaps he does appear somewhat pegged.
But “hundreds of applications” ?

Criiiiiikey, you’d have to ask Dezza about this, but surely that’s waaaaaay too many applications of the peg, poor bugger…

Rocks local
Rocks local
2 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

He could have used a very tall ladder.

Rocks local
Rocks local
2 years ago

if you’ve bought game tix this season specifically so your spouse whom you love deeply would have a good view of the box where TS would be sitting, raise your hand…

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
2 years ago
Reply to  Rocks local

…raise your hand, press a loaded gun against your head and pull the trigger.
As soon as possible.

The best and most dignified option in cases like that.

Rocks local
Rocks local
2 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Seems a little extravagant … the games themselves are pretty good.

c4
c4
2 years ago
Reply to  Rocks local

If you can’t think of a single song she sings raise your hand. Please listen to better music.

https://youtu.be/QD-5UISsih…

Rocks local
Rocks local
2 years ago
Reply to  c4

cruel summer sticks in your head, but slut is the new leader in the clubhouse.

Rocks local
Rocks local
2 years ago
Reply to  c4

TS isn’t my cup of tea, but having finally gotten this whole missus thing right on try no. 2 at a relatively advanced age … well, love does strange things to a man. The flip side is that she’s game for what makes me tick and patiently sits on the beach (or cliff, or rocks) while I paddle around and pretend to be 17 again.

c4
c4
2 years ago
Reply to  Rocks local

I had a twenty year old girlfriend in the nineties and I had to watch Melrose Place all the time but she was the most caring person I’ve ever met, so I get it.

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
2 years ago
Reply to  c4

Melrose Place was fucking great!

c4
c4
2 years ago

It was kinda sick actually. Better than most stuff now. Nineties were fun.

KRIS
KRIS
2 years ago
Reply to  c4
ptsdsurfer
ptsdsurfer
2 years ago
Reply to  c4
tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  ptsdsurfer

singing for back row Swift tickets? didn’t get ’em so now these dudes are really angry!

ptsdsurfer
ptsdsurfer
2 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

angry people make the best music

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

fuck yeah

Com Turren
Com Turren
2 years ago
Reply to  Rocks local

No, but I did buy a certain someone tickets to the Swift SoFi show, but turned out there was a conflict last August that prevented a certain someone from attending. Flipped the ticket and netted enough for a new board for myself. XTR foam. Spicy under the feet, but doesn’t feel corky like EPS.

Rocks local
Rocks local
2 years ago
Reply to  Com Turren

Very impressive. Points w/ the someone for the effort, and a new board. Not sure it could have turned out better.

@surfads
@surfads
2 years ago

Is Beach Grit hiring Erik Logan fans as a counterbalance?

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
2 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Sounds like an energy drink for okie nerds….

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
2 years ago
JoJo the Dog Faced Boy
JoJo the Dog Faced Boy
2 years ago

Nick Hair Oil


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