An old fashioned surfboard snipe!
There was a time, a few decades back, when surfers would identify with a surf brand. You wore Quiksilver or Billabong, used Sticky Bumps or Sex Wax, read Surfing or Surfer (in America) Surfing Life or Surfing World or Tracks (Australia) and rode Lost or Channel Islands. Or at least that’s the way it felt to me in my Coos Bay, Oregon bedroom.
In my provincial mind, which tribe a surfer belonged to mattered as much as anything and I would mentally sneer at those on the other “team.” Thankfully, and reprising my childhood fantasy, Lost’s Matt Biolos went directly for the throat of arch-rival Channel Islands, today, in a wicked Instagram post.
Featuring righteous shredder “Rasta” Robbie McCormick on a Ripper model, Biolos writes, “Rasta Robb don’t need no stink’n ‘small wave surfers therapy sessions.’ He just packs another load, grabs his Ripper, paddles out and drops airs on the whiners heads.
Ouch.
Channel Islands’ recent Dane Reynolds n gang promotional video showcasing The Dumpster Diver 2 model was wildly well-received in the community. It featured shaper Britt Merrick and various other team riders in a faux support group before devolving into a wild melee.
While praised in certain circles as “the funniest skit since Doped Youth,” Team Lost certainly thought it was lame and tacky. The Robb diss track shoved right into the hexagon’s grill.
Provincially-minded surf watchers are, currently, holding breaths and waiting if Channel Islands will retaliate.
Which team are you?
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I’m team Harry Bryant
Biolos is such a bitter and whinny man.
Yes, I grow the gas. Chem 4 and Sour Diesel etc Not a fan of all the sherbet upside down cake whatever.
Smoking weed and taking a big bong hit before a crappy small wave session is just another form of small wave therapy which you see the results in Matt’s post… very average surfing. My suggestion is Rasta Robb should go to Ci’s Small Wave Therapy Group, stop smoking weed, and ride a Dumpster Diver 2; it would imporve his surfing.
How about team fuck 900$ surfboards. 🤷🏽♀️
I do want to say the CI skit reveled something unspoken, needed. To see us obese & diabetic surfers finally have representation at the professional level is massive shift forward.
Having Dane as our Greta, to show our plight, struggle, is truly powerful.
His facial swelling reminds me of a bat ray stinging I had recently, but 12 days infected.
Wait until you see how much it costs for an Album.
That first paragraph screams VAL.
CI hasn’t had a board since the mbm other than the rookie
& lost must be as filthy as Andino for him Choosing Ethan’s board in SITD. The new gen guy who’s effectively replaced him on tour as the blonde WT contender. Remember when KA came in all hot after being unbeatable on the QS. Too good for 2nds. Not good enough for 1sts..
The mbm was/is an amazing board in good waves. Gonna be hard to afford a new one though.
A mate insisted I ride his years back on a day the energy was sneaking past outer bar and unloading on the beach. Managed to pull into the wave of the session and still one of best waves of my life. Late under the hood , bending over shell and possible wooden shipwreck till lights went out, and finally blown to light out of “Black Beards Canon” with cheers on the beach. He gave me the board on my birthday. Saw him two days ago as we tried to use the refuge of ” The jetty” to pull us out to a maxing outer bar during short window of off shore winds. He is now riding a very finely tuned Sharp Eye. Should have thanked him again!
Wow Biolas, bring back the bong….
merrick bring back the beer, new merrick beer..
This is a blood feud between Beer and Bongs….whatever happened to new design????
they are too busy gazing at their navels, or maybe at each other’s navels?
Back to surfing core roots, i applaud it!
Easy Rider beer, the un-woke alternative to Budweiser; Endorsed by Nathan Florence, Rob Machado, and Matt Meola.
I’ve never bought a big brand boards, they’re way too socal/gold coast for my liking. Custom orders from local shapers is the way to go.
The only clothing brand I’m loyal to is ANCO.
🎯
Unfortunately my small time local shaper outpriced a new lost. What’s a man to do?
They may be more expensive but they last longer.
I’ve heard that those big brands that pop boards out (off the racks boards) dilute their resin, and don’t lap the cloth over the rails to cut costs and making their boards weaker.
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Just tried to sent him a deposit and all. Asked twice to set some time aside to dial the order in. Almost a month gone by and end last week asked for my deposit back..
Ahhh I should have that board ready for you in a few weeks. Three months later board is ready. Airbrush wrong, dimensions wrong, price not the same as originally quoted.
Three of my friends ordered custom Hauts from Santa Cruz in the early eighties and they ordered swallow tail twin fins with custom airbrushes. The boards ended up being round pins with the airbrushes all wrong.
Doug Haut is a legendary shaper though.
I can still remember the come down after picking up the board. Reminds me now of driving to the casino vs leaving the casino.
Hes actually Negatrons 57th account.
Guy needs a hobby.
We’re all Chas Smith typing under different aliases.
Biolos is a dipshit.
3 x hexagon = 666
The 3 stripes used by monster also = 666.
Surfers riding for CI and monster are going straight to (motel) hell
Ah, so the fact that they are well known as being very much Christian is just a ploy?
I guess we will have to wait for the end of year WSL Shaper Rankings to determine the winner of this feud.
hahaha spat out water reading this
The F1 constructors has nothing on the shapers rankings.
I’m on team: ‘Who the fuck has time to do frivolous stuff like surfyboarding?’
Thank God! “We don’t need no stinking” therapy! Go hug your f√¢€ing pronouns you f@g$!….
If this were 1998 I’d say that surfing is cool again.
Also Elo just wrote either the worst or best piece of quitlit I’ve ever read I’ll let you guys know once I finish the second half.
Edit: I’m ashamed I called this quitlit.
Post up the link!
I’ll take a Dalhlberg
He shaped my first ever board. A quad in about 1985.
I’ll stick to CashConverters
Al Merrick was the boss and his record speaks for itself.
Britt not so much. CI is perilously close to firewire popouts these days.
Biolos is a nut and needs therapy.
It’s kinda funny because Biolas has to go outside enough to know how poorly this will land with the REI kooks who buy new losts.
Exactly. Big brother Magazine Bong Olympics for pro skaters . Used to sell the weed I grew to Eric Tervo, among others. He’s the one with long blonde hair.
He got second place.
https://youtu.be/PirobrbcvL…
Do that with the weed they got now. You’d have a loony bin..
The contest was to see how many packed bowls you you could clear. The winner did fifteen or something. Nor Cal had pretty good weed in the nineties.
There are some strains now that are over 30% THC that are stronger.
A strain called Jenny kush got tested at I think 39% THC last year but all the strains that test super high are crosses of the nineties Nor Cal strains like sour diesel, train wreck and Chem dawg
I’m still growing SD my all time favorite. Originally an east coast strain from what I understand though.
He’s sooo …lost.
Biolos got salty about one of my IG posts, an innocuous one, I thought. Dude has no sense of humour. .
Are you sure you didn’t photoshop his face onto some chick giving birth?
CI team riders needed group therapy because their other gazillion small wave models don’t work? And the only solution is to get one out of a dumpster? And to prove the dumpster board works in small waves they take it out on a head high wave? Genius.