“Just before I rip your arm off, I’ll put my balls on your forehead for good measure…”
Even with the moans and bucking from yesterday’s blood feud still reverberating through the surf world, we can report the snow blond surfing champ Joel Tudor has opened a new online front with back-to-back insults on Instagram today.
“This is what longboarding looks like to me.”
Joel Tudor likes this response.
“You’re not wrong,” says the forty-seven-year-old daddy of two and holder of three world longboarding titles. “It’s what the majority of longboarding looks like to me as well.”
Much agreement etc.
The conversation takes a turn, however, when the BeachGrit commenter, or former BeachGrit commenter, Wiggolly’s Paddling Style takes a swing at Joel Tudor’s fav sport.
“This is what jiujitsu looks like to me mate. I’ll snap ya,” he writes.
Joel Tudor replies, “I found your mom.”
Surfival League’s Taylor Lobdell writes, “You don’t like getting a sweaty dudes foot in your face? What’s wrong with you?”
And, here, Joel Tudor pulls the trigger, baring his teeth you would imagine in an awful smile.
“Just before I rip your arm off , I’ll put my balls on your forehead for good measure….its called t-bagging pre shoulder surgery –you can place bets on how long it’ll take…”
To which Wiggly replies,
“Can’t really see the point in paying $45 per session to take turns cuddling a bloke wearing a dressing gown. It’s given Joel an excessive amount of self confidence so I guess it’s good for something.”
True or false?
Are you in camp anti-jiujitsu per Wiggs and Taylor or does rolling thrill you for the connection it gives you with other men, like it does me?
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
Ironic, given he mentioned in a recent podcast how an act of violence cost his father his home.
He was shown the world by Nat, D.T. and Dora. Got his ass kicked by Danny Fuller do he learned Jui Jitsu and won a world title. Manhandles big Pipeline. Doesn’t suck the balls of the media machine.
Sounds cool to me
Who cares if Kelly rode a longboard? Different point entirely.
Joel Tudor actually lives the life that beachgrit wanna be nobodies wish they could
If I wanted to be an argumentative stoner loser, you’d be right.
Wigs should have posted ,” ya dumb fucken seppo cunt, I’ll fucken shoot you before I get ya balls out !!!!
I,d always thought wrestling with other blokes was a great way to be gay and tough at the same time ? Did I miss something ?
It won’t be long before he gets the Nat Young treatment. Longboarding for wooses anyway.
‘He would get whooped…’
Or worse. In my state I can stand my ground and if someone threatens me, I can legally shoot ’em dead. Not how I do things but gotta be careful, there’s plenty walking around with an itchy trigger finger. We don’t call it the Gunshine state for nothing.
He charges Pipe, is a longboard Master and would beat your ASS.
And he stands up for himself. What’s the issue?
Miss Wiggoly on here
You’re a female Wiggoly?
Obviously Joel’s threatening talk is relegated to the internet, otherwise that big nose would be alot flatter.
Why, when faced with any form of critical thinking, must Joel Tudor resort to assault? A calm discussion over coffee, addressing his refusal to learn proper grammar or engaging in a good old-fashioned manly debate? No, he would rather bong rip his way into insta comments (the most vain of all), invite you to don pajamas and roll on the ground with him (after paying him, of course). It’s a peculiar predilection for a man who claims to live a life free of selfies
I’m not picking sides till I see pictures!
Fast food!
Joel is the epitome of cringe surf culture. I bet he also brags about his high IQ, but is truely interpreting the bell curve results backwards. Go Wiggs!
Joel Jitsu. The schizophrenia inducing weed strain that makes you think you’re still surfing in the 1960’s.
I’m not sure why you would do a sport you can get consistently injured at and restrict you from surfing, unless its actually your sport and surf is only your hobby,,,
Yeah, I can see practicing unarmed self defense in a serious way. It can come in handy.
But it’s got to be possible to do that without blowing ACLs in practice.
Just sending my thoughts and prayers to our Kiwi friends 🙏
Ram hāngī anyone? 🐏
This cunts never met a scaffolder has he.
The California privilege bubble is real folks. Give generously and we can wipe out this insidious condition.
1800- TARGETED METEORITES.
Dial now!
Sure Joel might win with standing and posing on obsolete boards with no volume dimensions and jelly wrestling for tinfoil wraps at his local dive bar every time.
But when it comes to being an opinionated arsehole online, many of us here surely with a few more years of dedicated practice under our belts might just be good enough to dare attempt to level up to him on the keyboard? One can only dream I guess.
I’m in, I’ll kick his cunt in and I’m an old cunt
Haha!
We need Joel to write an article on these pages as the comments would make BG a fortune!
I almost challenged him on some bullshit yesterday. Unfortunately I was too hungover to deal with his babbling rants, so I opted out.
Will do in the future, i promise.
BJJ tends to work the best when both parties mutually agree to roll around on the ground first
I hear there’s a pretty thriving BJJ scene at most highway rest stops
BJ too