Ivanka Trump (pictured) squatting. Photo: Instagram
Ivanka Trump (pictured) squatting. Photo: Instagram

Fox-owned website declares powerlifting Ivanka Trump training to “surf some serious waves in the near future”

Calling Nathan Florence.

The great United States presidential election of 2024 is still two-ish months away but are you thrilling at every turn, every bob and weave, in this reality program? Did you, for example, watch the debate? Opinions on the back and forth? While you’re thinking, it must be reported, here, that a Fox-owned website has reported that Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, is in training for big wave winter surfing.

After new clips surfaced of the former first daughter doing some squats, the culture and sport portal opined:

Over the last couple of summers, Donald’s daughter with Ivana has spent time behind boats and at surf experiences like the Flow Rider surf simulator in the Bahamas, but we haven’t seen her on the real deal. The back squatting workout might be an indication that we might be seeing Ivanka tackle some serious waves in the near future. Name another daughter of a President who is or was this athletic.

Before you get to naming another daughter of a president who is or was this athletic, it must be wondered. Is Ivanka’s weight training inspired by notable big wave surfer, and powerlifter, Nathan Florence? It must be thought “yes” and, following logic, must then be thought that Ms. Kushner is not just training to tackle big waves but, as actually referenced in the piece, serious ones.

Slabs.

This all might seem pure conjecture except, again, the source is Fox which has a very unique relationship with the Trump family and would not actively spread disinformation or “fake news.”

All to say, Ivanka Trump likely to join Florence Marine X.

Thrilling days.

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Surf Farm or bust. Photo: The OC
Surf Farm or bust. Photo: The OC

Tony Newport Beach, California approves study for new “Surf Farm” wave pool

So long dirty ol' Wedge.

We are all but living in Kelly Slater’s world. The second-greatest ever surfer, 11x world champion and father to a nameless son exploded the very idea of possibility, nine years ago, when he released footage of his Surf Ranch wave pool up Lemoore way. Sure, there had been tanks before, Wavegardens even that looked playful and fun but Slater’s tub oooooeee. That was something else and the rush was on. Though his plow technology was slow to find a home, the second Surf Ranch having just been built in Abu Dhabi, others built Waco Surfs and Palm Springs Surf Clubs, URBNSURFs and Rusty Plungers.

And now, for the first time in recorded history, Newport Beach, California’s city council has approved a study to explore dropping a water world right next-ish to The Wedge.

Introducing Surf Farm.

The group Back Bay Barrels LLC is paying the the $277,000 to study the impact a wave pool would bring to an area currently being used as a golf course in the upper Newport Bay preserve.

According to the Orange County Register:

Councilmember Erik Weigand said at the recent council meeting there has been misinformation in the community and the action the city was taking was not to approve the project, but rather a step in the process that will include not just environmental review, but also public input at community meetings and discussions both at the Planning Commission and City Council meetings.

Still, impossible to tamp down excitement. The proposal includes a large lagoon with seating around, cabanas etc. and three “warming pools” plus a building that would have a “surf-related” retail store. A smaller building is also in the plan which would have “overnight rooms” for athletes.

More questions than answers, of course, and it all still has to get approved, but how do you think the facility will impact Newport Beach’s surf culture?

Here’s a reminder of what it, currently is.

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Lauryn, Darwin and cryptic hint!
Mama Florence, baby Darwin and cryptic comment, right.

Wife of John John Florence leaves strongest hint yet triple world champ won’t return to surfing tour in 2025

A hint, and cryptic as hell, but what else to take from it?

Storm clouds are gathering on the horizon for the beleaguered World Surf League after rumours its most marketable surfer, and just crowned world champ, John John Florence won’t return to chase a fourth crown in 2025.

Last Friday online sleuths were quick to pounce on an awkward moment between John John Florence and interviewer Strider Wasilewksi immediately following his win at Lower Trestles.

There was a little preamble, congrats you got three world titles, one for each brother, and then Strider asked: “This puts me onto the question. Next year, I can’t wait, I mean, Finals are in Fiji, are you looking forward to that?”

Awkward pause.

“Ahhhh…yeah…sounds super fun…yeah…I mean, Fiji is one of the best waves in the world.”

Cue uncomfortable chuckle.

Not exactly an admission he would be leaving his fans standing and screaming for more of his special brand of surfing, but enough to seed the storm clouds of doubt he’d be doing another lap of the tour.

But, today, multiple emails were rushed to BeachGrit claiming that his wife the Australian Lauryn Cribb, mama to baby Darwin, had dropped a cryptic comment on Jack Robinson’s IG giving the strongest hint yet John John would be staying at home in 2025.

Responding to Jack’s comment, “Congratulations to the world champions who ripped the whole year @john_john_florence @caitysimmers so inspiring!” Lauryn wrote:

“The last one!!”

Now, again, a hint, and cryptic as hell, but what else to take from it?

Meanwhile, somewhere on the North Shore, a dog barks at the moon, a baby gurgles in his cot and you can hear that famous world champion surfer laugh, rich and healthy, crackling through the big beachfront house.

 

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Surfer Kai Mckenzie, pictured with one leg after Great White attack.
Dane Reynolds correctly describes this photo of Great White attack survivor Kai Mckenzie as "iconic".

Surfer who lost leg in Great White attack slams news outlets as “grubs” for posting leaked footage of ordeal

“Ain’t f#king leaving this joint just yet”

If you know, you know, as the saying goes and the video footage of Kai Mckenzie being chased and attacked by a Great White bigger than you might’ve thought possible is the sorta loop that’ll stay in your mind forever. 

The footage of the attack, from Kai’s filmer, was provided, we believe, to local authorities as part of their investigation where it was subsequently leaked.

In late July, a week when fifteen tagged Great Whites were tracked around Port Macquarie, Rage team rider Kai McKenzie joined a rapidly growing group of surfers from around those parts whose lives have been irrevocably changed by the sharp spike in Great White activity.

Last year, Toby Beggs lost his right leg, and part of his left, in a wild, multi-pronged attack where he was dragged underwater twice by a twelve-foot Great White.

In 2020, thirty-five-year-old surfer Chantelle Doyle was hit by a ten-foot White at Shelly Beach, Port Mac. Her husband jumped off his board, climbed on the shark and beat hell out of it, saving her life.

Kai Mckenzie, who is twenty-three, was hit by the Great White while surfing a breakwall, or jetty if you prefer, in Port Mac, yeah, same joint the one-time title contender Mick Campbell was from. 

Kai belted the shark even after it took off his right leg, made it to shore alive, but barely, where an off-duty copy ripped off his dog’s lead to fashion a tourniquet thereby saving the kid’s life.

His leg was miraculously washed ashore shortly after the attack where it was packed on ice, chucked on the car ferry that takes you back across the Hastings River and rushed, complete with cop escort to Port Macquarie Base Hozzy in the, as it turned out misplaced, hope it could be reattached. 

Kai’s recovery has been closely followed and documented by a who’s who of Australian surfing including Noa Deane and Toby Cregan, as well as superstars like Bakersfield film and baby maker Dane Reynolds and Maui’s celeb shark attack survivor Bethany Hamilton.

In his latest post, upbeat and defiant as always, Kai Mckenzie has taken aim at news outlets, which for once don’t include this one, that posted leaked footage of the attack. 

“Ain’t fucking leaving this joint just yet ps you news grubs stop posting my shit,” he writes.

A chorus of approval, rightly, followed:

“Goddamn iconic photo ur fuckin gnar,” writes Dane Reynolds.

“Up ya” Noa Deane.

Bethany Hamilton: Let’s gooo!

Craig Anderson: Weapon ❤️

 

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Ben Gravy (left) ready to shred the danger zone!

Beloved novelty wave maestro Ben Gravy signals intent to surf every country in the world!

Danger, ahoy!

Where would we as a culture be without Ben Gravy? The beloved New Jersey vlogger who got hisself sober then became a YouTube sensation has delighted for years. Quite possibly the biggest name in surf, Gravy recently brought his talents to Georgia where he graced the local news with his presence while dropping an absolute bombshell.

Brian Michigan, as fine a name for a local newsman as any, first detailed Gravy’s inspirational story before discussing how the movie star handsome 36-year-old made it his mission to surf each of the 50 United States. “The weirdest thing I can find is the thing that gets me excited to surf,” he gamely declared.

Michigan, asking what’s next, received an answer so ambitious, so shocking, as to upset surfing’s applecart for years to come.

Gravy now plans on surfing every country in the world.

All 195 of them.

It is unclear if he counts Palestine as its own nation so maybe 194 but still.

I would imagine pundits pointing to North Korea as one of the more difficult on the list, but I think that will be a fish in a barrel for Gravy’s brand of ultra-positivity. It might even be thought that the rugged blonde will thaw tense relations between the “hermit kingdom” and the west.

South Sudan will pose some trouble as well as Somalia proper. Afghanistan, certainly. Syria, probably. Iran, while safe, might be a tough visa. I’d encourage him to leave Yemen alone.

Which would you most look forward to conquering? Which would give you cold sweats?

Back when I was a younger man, I used to absolutely love Robert Young Pelton’s guidebook The World’s Most Dangerous Places. Snappy, informative and fun. I think it might be useful for our intrepid Benjamin Gravy as he heads out into the world.

Bon voyage.

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