Republicans vow to “Make Huntington Beach Great Again” after sweeping city council seats

Surf City, USA officially introduces the MAGA-nificent 7.

Surf City, USA, home to such glories as the US Open of Surfing and Seasonal Surf Riots, is in new hands after Republicans swept the recent city council elections and now hold all seven seats. Dubbed the MAGA-nificent Seven by councilmember Tony Strickland, the group was sworn in on Tuesday and posed for photos while wearing red hats emblazoned with the phrase “Make Huntington Beach Great Again.”

Two of the seven threw very tight shakas in celebration.

“People certainly don’t have a problem when San Francisco identifies with Gavin Newsom or Barack Obama. I think that’s a double standard if anybody has that kind of criticism,” Strickland declared, heading off potential haters.

As the fourth stop on the World Surf League Challenger Series, the left-leaning “Global Home of Surfing” will be forced to deal with a potentially hostile partner though will have practice completely abandoning any and all social ideals after its February running of the Abu Dhabi Pro.

“We’re going to do what we need to to protect Huntington Beach,” Mayor Pat Burns said. “One of my big things is local control: We can govern ourselves. We don’t need state mandates.”

Huntington Beach has currently outlawed the flying of LGBTQIA+ flags on civic property, made using certain bathrooms illegal for certain people and ripped books deemed “fruity” from library shelves.

“We love our city,” councilmember Butch Twining clarified. “We love everything about it. We don’t want to change very much about it. And the red hats get conflated with another message, but that’s not really our message.”

The council has listed “bolstering public safety” as a top priority which will directly conflict with Seasonal Surf Riots.

Sad.