“I was about in tears after we released that fish..."
Today, Thursday, March 20th, is officially the beginning of Spring, in the northern hemisphere, and with it, feelings of hope, rebirth and maybe a wildly boozy week on America’s eastern seaboard. Yes, Florida is home to some of the rowdiest Spring Break bacchanals in the entire world, very bad behavior from Miami (which has actually banned Spring Break) to Daytona to St. Augustine. Girls, and girl-adjacents, gone very wild.
The revelry does extend north, however, and fair Hatteras Island, North Carolina is where we lay our scene. The state’s Outer Banks have long been famous in surfing circles for their stunning sand-bottom tubes but right at the start of the vernal equinox has become famous for something else.
A massive great white shark caught, beached, then released by some fine tar heels.
Luke Beard and friends were fishing off the beach when they snagged the monster, fighting it for around 35-minutes before bringing it to shore for a photo opportunity.
“It just felt different. It was super heavy, very, very heavy,” Beard told the local news. “I’m still on cloud nine, I probably will be for the rest of my life.”
“It gives me kind of chills, even thinking about it, it was unbelievable,” his pal Jason Rosenfeld added.
Catching and keeping great whites is, of course, illegal as they are a federally protected species and their meat is filled with Girl Scout Cookie-level heavy metals.
“The biggest priority is keeping the fish safe and getting a good release on all fish that we catch,” Beard continued to explain. “I was about in tears after we released that fish. You never know if you’re ever going to be able to do that in your lifetime.”
After pushing and prodding, the beast, estimated to be around 13-feet and 1400 pounds, did make it back out into the lineup where memories of its torture will certainly haunt.
Will the monster exact revenge on surfers come hurricane season?
Well, wouldn’t you?
More as the story develops.
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The fish would’ve fed well this morning at a certain well-known local beach, due the caretaker chappy not showing up until 7am to open the toilet block / showers.
The amount of Caddyshacking by morning bathers in the, ahem, SHORE DUMP, was probably prodigious in volume.
Hooky-Dooky.
Thank goodness for the rip to the immediate south which would’ve taken it all straight out back to join the fuckers who actually had time to surf this morning. Bastards the lot of them.
Lol – scared of fish – 🤯
You’re not scared of a great white shark? Sitting on your board, legs dangling beneath you? We over come it, cuz surfing is fun.. but it You’re not scared, you’re stupid
I dunno man – surely it’s stupid to become a pilot if you’re scared of heights, or a boxer if you can’t stand blood. If sharks scare you, why surf – you could skate, or ride a snowboard. Why blame the animal that you are scared of for your own shortcomings?
That looks like a baby.
Cloud 9 sounds nice.
Better than Chas’ story
The man Jesus could have fed the 4000 and thousands more if he had landed that monster on the lake of galilee
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Just as Frank Beard (like most men with the surname ‘Beard’ east of the Continental Divide and south of the 36th north parallel) has always been the beardless member of ZZTop, it’s quite unlikely that Luke Beard is infact the bearded shark wrangler.
He’s probably the one at the dorsal…
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While surfing the third groin few years back. First groin producing main lighthouse left. Pretty sure a shark of similar stature and fin type buzzed the line up with in less than twenty yards. Not kidding!
Lots of sea life down there
As the world of pro surfing continues its inexorable decline, Chas stands at a fork in the road of the future direction of this website:
Fish Grit, or Cabinet Grit ?
Want to change out my cabinet door hardware. Open to suggestions.. And/or pro tips!
Try these https://uploads.disquscdn.c… I think Chad just got these for his $1500 Crocs https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Pro tip for easy installation if you go with handles using two holes. Lay a piece of tape along the back and stab the holes with a pen or pencil; measure your placement of the handles. lay the tape down drill/screw and youre done.
This is the method I use for getting barrelled.
YardGrit
Cabinet grit for sure
Bobbie Jean Brown has aged very well…
Meh, she’s only 56. I’d say Donna D’Errico has aged much better.
song is 🔥🔥🔥
…too soon?
A priest, a doctor, and a lawyer escape from a sinking ship in a lifeboat. After several days they are running out of water, but see land in the distance about a two miles out. The seas are calm, but the boat is surrounded by sharks circling them—hundreds of them.
The priest says, “I’ll swim to shore and get us help. My faith in God the Almighty will protect me.” So, he jumps in and swims for about 20 yards before a shark takes a bite out of him, the other sharks enter the fray, and he is pulled underwater as a red plume of blood billows out from where he went under.
The doctor then says, “I’ve dedicated my life to helping people and saving others’ lives. My good karma I’ve accrued will protect me and I will go get us help.” The doctor dives in and swims about 50 yards before he meets the same fate as the priest.
The lawyer then leisurely lowers himself into the water and swims all the way to shore, completely unscathed.
“Why,” you might ask?
…professional courtesy
BUT they will eat their young…partners
My clients are so bored of that joke
you tell it to them more than once though?
It gets better every time. Usually I give them the abbreviated version,
“Why don’t sharks attack lawyers?”
“Professional courtesy”.
Why didn’t they just paddle the boat to shore? Stupid cunts
Hmmm. Does the hook get removed prior to release? Just wondering as probably not likely. So why not cut it away before its on the sand thus removing the whole try to turn the 1400 lb thrashing blob around on the sand thing.
You know, I didn’t even think about the hook situation. But also, cutting it away means no cool photo.
Not sure if they use one but there is a tool that removes the hook. Looks like a t handle on a long metal rod with a curly q end. You snake the end around the line lead it down to the hook in the mouth and punch the hook out using the handle. You can also cut the line as most fisherman use biodegradable hooks that will be gone in a month or so in the saltwater
Yeah, just being snarky. A bit ridiculous to drag that thing up onto the sand for a photo. Kinda like shooting a giraffe or lion with a mini cannon and mounting the head on the wall to feed the Little Man’s Complex ego.
Sounds like you’re not much into fishing. My guess is you don’t even own a fishing rod. It takes a huge amount of skill and determination to even hook a fish like that let alone land it. I’m talking about getting skunked 9/10 times you go, spending days and days on the sand with baits in the water just waiting for the drag to scream so you can once again have a landing rate of around 1/10. Proper knowledge of gear and how to use it. Sussing out time and place to encounter a fish like that. No harm no foul in getting a photo and sending it back into the ocean. Go back 40 years or so before they were protected and that fish is swinging from the pier by days end 100% of the time. I agree trophy hunting is disgusting but not everyone needs to eat lettuce or whatever rabbit food sustains your vegan lifestyle.
Well, you would be correct in that I don’t fish from the sand, boat is by far the preferred method (my Radon does the trick just fine). Personally, I like to live in the present but if you want to go back 40 years please hand in your cell phone, keyboard, computer, Yamamoto neoprene, Sprinter Van, and mid length with that idiotic comment. I also don’t eat vegan or vegetarian (prefer meat) but don’t hate on those that do. At least we agree that trophy hunting is for pussies.
Why hate on someone who lands a shark like that from the sand snaps a quick pic and then cleanly releases the fish then if your such an avid outdoorsman you have to understand the monumental achievement you just witnessed?
Radon eh? Man of culture. Jealous.