“I’ve had my time, you know, but if they’re giving me one more shot to surf that place with everything on the line, I’m not saying no.”
With the world surf tour hanging by a thread following the quick fire retirements of its biggest drawcards, John John Florence, Carissa Moore and Stephanie Gilmore, and the catastrophic titty injury of Gabriel Medina, the WSL has made the bold step of gifting Kelly Slater a wildcard into Finals Day at Fiji’s Cloudbreak.
Kelly Slater, who is fifty-three, will take the fifth spot with the remaining four places being drawn, as per usual, from the end of season rankings.
The wildcard puts Slater on course for an improbable twelfth world tour.
“Kelly Slater stepped away from the full-time CT grind, but we’re stoked to award him this wildcard,” the WSL announced in a press release. “We can’t wait to see what he brings to Finals Day.”
The road to Kelly Slater 12 needs a little grease, of course, and a bigger than usual swell, and it’s improbable as all hell. But, when has improbable stopped Kelly Slater?
Cue, eight-to-ten-foot Cloudbreak, and the last meaningful swell of the 2025 season.
Finals Day is scheduled to take place within a competition window from August 27 to September 4, 2025. Unlike regular Championship Tour (CT) events with extended waiting periods, the WSL Finals is a one-day, winner-take-all event.
Getting a wildcard to Finals Day at Cloudbreak is pretty wild—I mean, it’s Fiji, it’s one of the best waves on Earth, and I didn’t expect to be back in the mix like this,” says Slater. “I’ve had my time, you know, but if they’re giving me one more shot to surf that place with everything on the line, I’m not saying no. It’s not about the title anymore; it’s about riding a few more perfect barrels and seeing what I’ve still got.”
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This fooled me, it also actually made me wanna watch the WSL finals, if the top 5 can’t beat the best ever to surf cloudy when he is nearly mid 50, then tough cookies, give him the wild card I say, I wouldn’t be surprised if he won it anyway, he’s the man when cloudy is big, another level to err1 else.
Touché DR
Screw April Fools, it’s a great idea. I’m down for it. Give Kelly a Wildcard into finals day. Or better yet change the judging criteria to a fun meter, where waves are scored strictly by how much fun the persons having, The world title goes to whoever is having the most fun.
i feel sad for Eddard Groggia.
Free willy!
I got a letter this morning from the WSL , saying I had the wild card….so did my next door neighbor and he’s a kangaroo !
My money is on the ‘roo. Once he gets out there in that boat, and loses his shit and takes everybody in the boat out….never even have to surf.
April fools joke -really? man this site has jumped the shark.
I think its a great idea, as long as he signs something that excludes him from any more comps
I think very hard to get past Bibi’s retinue to make arrest.
April Fools Brah! https://media0.giphy.com/me…
With every bagel sold!
get fucked cunt etc
Good perspective…he sounds very well adjusted.
damn…got me early enough.
That it was plausible is a sign of what a joke the WSL is…
I would support it!
Fair enough! But that in itself is evidence of how lightly the integrity of competition is taken when it comes to the WSL. It seems like no big thing to chuck Kelly in there at the expense of the 5 seed because the whole thing is a bit of a crap shoot and missing the two best surfers of the present generation
Nice retard test that multiple people failed.
feel like if one is reading BG bf the sun rises that person should get a pass on such litmus tests…
I guess anyone that read it before they had coffee gets a pass.
thx…maybe the saddest part of all is that this sounded like something the WSL would actually do
Yep, read it and I didn’t instantly think it was a joke, but I tried clicking on the link to make sure.
was a brilliant play by DR, admittedly.
Failed it with flying colors. Thanks to your comment being the first I read,it helped me pull my head out of my ass.
I was one of those retards
You know even if this was for real my reaction would be something like “Well, the wsl’s gotta do something to get more eyeballs so can’t blame them and not like it’s a legit sports league anyway… maybe i’ll make more of an effort to watch it.”
You seem upset
yea, good one wooz.
April fool !
I was almost a believer and was ready to post the following:
Just like another has been, Lindsey Vonn, who came back well past her prime, Slater is injecting himself into the mix and taking glory from the next generation! They should hook up as they’re a match made in hell
nothing would surprise me less than wooz accomodating, yet again, the egomaniac that is Slater
Truth be told Slater is a legend and deserves a certain level of respect for his athletic achievements. It is unfortunate he somehow believes his intelligence matches his athletic prowess…
He’s incredible in the water, but as soon as he steps foot on land he turns into a total douche.
You forgot to mention he will surf the ladies bracket, also.
Good one DR.