“I’m still emotionally attached to most now that I’ve been reacquainted."
The two-time world surfing champ Tyler Wright, whose last appearance on these pages was centred around whether or not she would face execution while competing at a wave pool contest in gay-unfriendly UAE, has listed sixty hand-crafted surfboards in a fire sale that should interest any male or female weighing around 155 pounds.
“Gaslit myself into believing i only had 10 boards in mums attic – turns out there was 60 beautiful @pyzelsurfboards and @matt_biolos mayhems up there,” Tyler Wright posted. “I’m still emotionally attached to most now that I’ve been reacquainted so if you buy one from @surfboardempire treat it with love hehe.”
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Jon Pyzel, once designated the third sexiest surfboard shaper in the world after Darren Handley and Hayden Cox, hit the comments with his usual comedic timing, “You might have a little surfboard ‘problem.’”
Not all comments were comedic nor positive, howevs.
The Grit’s straight-man Dave Scales wrote, “Think of all the kids that need boards. No barrel.”
A surfboards-for-Africans advocate wrote, “You should donate to our project in Africa.”
And a questioning of noted progressive Tyler Wright’s environmental bonafides.
“All this boards… Forgotten… Now remembered… Every professional surfer has the same… Is it really necessary? I mean, y’all love the ocean and planet & sustainability… But isn’t this a bit too much materials wise? Waste wise? Just thinking out loud… Let’s see the troopers who get rattled by this.”
Whatever you think of it, there’s 41 beautifully made Pyzels and Mayhems that need new homes with prices starting at $A350, roughly $US225. They’re resting in the warm arms of Surfboard Empire’s Wollongong warehouse so give ’em a hit if you’re interested.
Model: The Shadow Dark Arts
Dimensions: 5’7.5”
Board Number: 206286
Condition: Used, Good
Model: Highline
Dimensions: 5’8.5”
Board Number: 18688
Condition: Used, Good
Model: Radius
Dimensions: 5’8.5”
Board Number: 18686
Condition: Used, Good
Model: Radius
Dimensions: 5’11”
Board Number: 295615
Condition: Used, Good
Model: Next Step
Dimensions: 6’0”
Board Number: 250279
Condition: Used, Good
Model: Happy Twin
Dimensions: 5’5”
Board Number: 16470
Condition: Used, Good
Model: Radius
Dimensions: 5’8”
Board Number: 243085
Condition: Used, Good
Model: Radius
Dimensions: 5’9”
Board Number: 295616
Condition: Used, Good
Model: Radius
Dimensions: 5’10”
Board Number: 295614
Condition: Used, Good
Model: Highline
Dimensions: 5’8.5”
Board Number: 18689
Condition: Used, Good
Model: Radius
Dimensions: 5’9”
Board Number: 295618
Condition: Used, creased, crack on rail
Model: Radius
Dimensions: 5’9”
Board Number: 239695
Condition: Used, Good
Mayhem Surfboards
Model: Sub Scorcher
Dimensions: 5’8”
Board Number: 172234
Condition: Used, Very yellow
Model: ?- Not visible
Dimensions: 5’10”
Board Number: 168999
Condition: Brand new
Model: ?- Not visible
Dimensions: 5’9”
Board Number: 16303
Condition: Used, good
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 5’8.5”
Board Number: 12865
Condition: Used, good
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 5’10”
Board Number: 154499
Condition: Used, yellow
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 5’8.5”
Board Number: 12866
Condition: New, yellow
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 5’8.5”
Board Number: 11998
Condition: Used, creased, yellow
Model: Sub Driver
Dimensions: 5’8.5”
Board Number: 168995
Condition: Used, good
Model: Driver (EPS)
Dimensions: 5’8.5”
Board Number: 175576
Condition: Used, Yellow
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 5’9”
Board Number: 175187
Condition: Used, good
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 5’10”
Board Number: 175443
Condition: Used, good
Model: ?- Not visible
Dimensions: 5’10”
Board Number: 17398
Condition: Brand new
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 6’0”
Board Number: 175133
Condition: Used, good
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 6’2”
Board Number: No Board #
Condition: Used, good
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 6’0”
Board Number: 175445
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 6’4”
Board Number: #022016
Condition: Used, good
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 6’4”
Board Number: 175448
Condition: Used, good
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 5’8.5”
Board Number: 180939
Condition: Board has shrunk, foam caved in
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 5’10”
Board Number: 168998
Condition: New, good
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 5’9”
Board Number: 172574
Condition: Used, good
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 5’10”
Board Number: 175134
Condition: New, good
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 5’10”
Board Number: 174889
Condition: Ding on rail, fixed but noticeable
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 6’2”
Board Number: 175446
Condition: New, good
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 6’2”
Board Number: 175447
Condition: Used, good
Model: ?- Not visible
Dimensions: 5’8.5”
Board Number: 17396
Condition: Used, good
Model: ?- Not visible
Dimensions: 5’8.5”
Board Number: 16302
Condition: New, good
Model: ?- Not visible
Dimensions: 5’9.5”
Board Number: 17397
Condition: New, good, yellow on nose
Model: Driver
Dimensions: 5’10”
Board Number: 175136
Condition: Used
Model: Pocket Rocket
Dimensions: 5’9”
Board Number: 154462
Condition: Used
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Would live to hear how much she paid for them.
Just reading those dimensions makes my ovaries hurt
Do they come with WMBA attachments?
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Longest article ever on BG?
fuck this rug muncher
so ya never munched a rug?
yeah, surfing is just greenwashing on steroids…
We all know Tyler’s dimensions
2 or on the glass ….1
Sweet. Now only need to plant 2.7 bushes and the carbon offsetting is done. Wow – this was a productive day in the life of a pro surfer.
Just dont call her a cissy,
You might get a 4 week ban.
wait, no youd have to call a straight guy a cissy to get 4 weeks, bring on Snoop dawg!!
about 10 years ago , a meeting was held with Surfers/Shapers/WSL in SC….to discuss having to change the boards design every year ( Like F1) …..and have a maximum amount of boards that could be surfed…..it was rejected by the shapers!
I remember when the pro surfers tried to ban poto from surfing his “mars bar” board in comps because they kept of losing to him in shit surf. Their boards just sank and poto kept smoking them on what we would probably call a funshape. This was early 90s in the height of the banana boards era.
Banana was Eazily the shitest board i ever had, lasted a week on it
Herro also thought the same!
we actually called his boards the Poto Boato’s…….the banana bds by GW just didn’t work……then some creature came up with RV’s and thetre was order again….
what’s sad is that with all those boards she had/has…not one magic one she would keep….ah the is the magic of making the best board of your life dead….is this a symptom of a vanilla era of surfboard design……or are the new shapers just tweakers..???
Tweakers
I thought they don’t own them? Wasn’t Biolis all pissy about Wiggoly trading his for GC Acai?
same thought
Retirement ahead?
Tax bill to pay?
Presumably she’s giving all the proceeds to a worthy charity.
Or she’s more of a dickhead than previously supposed.
(maybe she’s suddenly gone poor after not making the final five, and is trying to make up for the cash stolen by their family’s gambling addict accountant…)
At least the leso signwriter gave away the money she got from Rusty.
If she doesn’t donate them to George Floyd’s family then obviously she’s a hypocritical poseur.
give them away for fucks sake.
they cost Tyler nothing and she forgot she even had them.
stoke out a load of groms.
how can someone get this so wrong?
It’s Tyler “can’t see the forest for the trees” Wright that’s how
Surprised she didn’t elaborate on which ones have been surfed while she had her period.
I once met a Brazo in Indo surfing on a second hand board from Jacqueline Silva. The board looked like a piece of shit and he surfed it with a classic Alejo Muniz style (except he could barely get the thing moving)
Really don’t think that either Jon or Matt just agreed that the boards they gave Tyler could just be sold and the money pocketed by Tyler. Maybe she’s ok with never having another board sponsor ever again though.
#mysurfboardsmatter