“He can’t take or spot an obvious joke?”
After yesterday’s revelation that Kelly Slater ain’t afraid to blow holes in an unarmed intruder, a position I sorta hold although I think I would feel a terrific regret if I riddled an impoverished child with slugs, it may not be prudent to poke the bear, as they say.
But the revelation of a blood feud between the greatest of all time, competitively, Kelly Slater, and the greatest freesurfer of all time, the Australian Dave Rastovich requires an immediate and fulsome inspection.
Awkward Kelly Slater vs Humourless Dave Rastovich
In an interview with Sterling Spencer, Rastovich described an interaction with Kelly Slater at Kirra.
I’m like, look at this beautiful day. Isn’t it beautiful? Look at the sun.
How’s this offshore wind? I’m like freaking out. And he’s just sort of looked at me and like nodded and like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then sort of continued like paddling and scanning the line up like Robocop. And I was just like, whoa, what?
This one?
I’m like, I know what I’m looking at. It’s the second one. And he’s like, yeah, but look at this first one. He’s like trying to sell me on this fucking first one. And I’m just like, are you serious right now? And then I paddle over the first one, because he knows, I know, and it’s obvious that’s not the one.
The second one comes, and I’m like, yeah, here we go. This is the one. And I start to turn, and he turns. And I’m paddling for it, and he’s paddling for it. And he’s like, he’s the guy on the shoulder. And I’m looking at him like, incredulous, like, do you not know?
Just feel like letting someone have this wave because they were the next in line and it’s okay if we both miss it it’s one for the spirits maybe who knows whatever it’s just surfing anyway i catch this wave and he’s there with me stroke for stroke to the last second just in case i miss it which is if that’s ever going to happen i grew up surfing this fucking way anyway i catch the wave and it’s a nice wave and i come back out and i’m like Wow, that guy’s just relentless.
A very funny story, instructive etc.
But Kelly Slater ain’t one to let snoozy dogs snooze and was quickly into the BTL comments of House of Foam and Froth, which had reposted the interview,
“He can’t take or spot an obvious joke?” wrote Kelly Slater. Too easy to claim I’m overcompetitive.
And after being accused of being humourless himself, Slater responds, “I said this but it was in complete humour. It’s weird Rasta wouldn’t tell it in a lighthearted way is all.
Who’s camp do you fall? Humourless Dave or Awkward Kelly?
Funny story, and basically descibes pretty much everyone at my local when its cooking. At some point we’ve all been that guy paddling on the shoulder, or the incredulous dude glaring down the line from the priority position. I dont believe thats not also true for Rasta, unless he is some kind of surfing saint?
Kelly’s dry humor doesn’t mix well with his competitive relentlessness. Poor Rasta hasn’t managed to toughen up his sensitivity and should’ve just faded Slater in the pit on one. They both would’ve laughed their asses off.
Fuck you’re a Hellman mate. Unreal. A real ruthless operator. A deadly weapon. Good on you for being so awesome and using some of that limitless talent here on a surf forum. Fuck yeah. Hail Satan!
Slaters idea of humour about as funny as getting your dick caught in an escalator. And don’t get me started on Dave ..he’d have us all
eating rat cheese if he could.
Dez you deserve much credit for that image of the Old Bald Cunt you used in the thumbnail, makes me laugh every time I see it haha
tough choice between “The Gunslinger” Yul Breyner lookalike Slater and Dave Charles Manson lookalike Rastovich.
Does Rasta have a good sense of humour or is Kelly an overly competitive asshole?? Hhhmmm, we have seen plenty of examples of both.
I think the question is who would you prefer to have a beer with post surf??
Does Rasta even drink piss? I know for a while he wasn’t even talking on Tuesdays for some bizarre reason haha
I’ve listened to his podcast for a while. He seems to recognise that he was pretty insufferable at times when he was younger. But seems like a good cunt now. Loves his family and surfing.
If you haven’t watched his Electric Acid, it’s a must and great insight into his personality
Yeh mate I gave it a watch and loved it. About the only decent thing on stab this year haha
NonJohn lives for the satisfaction he gets from seeing Kelly get worse at surfing, plus some other positive stuff.
I rooted for him in contests not in person.
Want to hear an opposite scenario? My birthday early July same time frame around 2006. Cracked perfect 4’ to 6’ Ala Moana Bowls before work and scored multiple sick ones. The highlight was telling Ben Aipa it was my birthday and him giving me a prime Bowl wave. Literally had tears in my eyes.
Went to work and made a sale then headed back to the north shore around 4. Drove past Lani’s and couldn’t believe as a surprise 4’ northeast swell had appeared out of nowhere ( 06’ Surfline hadn’t quite dialed in summer north swells ).
Paddled out at 5 pm into oil glass perfection with 10 guys out including Jock Sutherland. The crowd kind of dwindled until right before dark it was just me and Jock. I told him it was birthday and how Aipa had given me a wave at Bowls. He was smiling so huge. Right as the sun sunk over Kaena point the wave of the day rolled in a solid 8’ face maybe bigger and as flawless as a wave can get. Jock wa ls in the spit but he looked at me and smiled. “Happy birthday!”
I took off rode it all the way to the bridge.
About as good as surfing gets that day
Im gonna do that every surf now
Not fair. I believe Gwen waited his turn and that was his spot.
Thanks
If you rewatch the electric acid test with Rasta you can hear him shade Kelly quite a few times for riding techy ultra refined shapes and producing that exact product without much thought to the environmental impact. He definitely says flat out that producing surfboards with the only goal being making profit is shit. Felt like he was speaking directly to Kelly,rob,Haden etc on that one.
Why would we watch something with a title like this?
Honestly man if you don’t like surfboard design or listening to people talk about it I get it but I love that shit so much that to me electric acid is as good as content gets. To each his own.
Just joking bro. But I don’t pay for Stab. Don’t like those pretentious guys.
Stab pretentious? Surely not haha
Pretentious? Moi? Tu penses? (Real old joke.)
Yeah nah Kelly.
A gentleman would say “Go on Davo!” and fucking sit there, letting your mate have it without the slightest bit of stress.
Sure sounds like an abusive partner / frenemy/rando with the ole’ “iT wAs OnLy A jOkE!!! Durrr…”
Toxic shit from someone who should know much better, and should be in the position to be the most generous wave-giver on the planet.
I remember watching a pretty average big day at Kirra one arvo. Kelly runs down, paddle’s out next to big groyne, he’s in posi as a set stands up behind the rocks.. and he gets burnt, caught inside and washed down the point.
He must have been laughing on the inside when he walked up the path because his face was stone.
One of the greatest joys of my surfing life was burning Dane at Rincon. He’s nothing like Kelly in a lineup, but still catches well more than his fair share.
Faaaaark I hope that was me that burnt him
I lived on the north shore for years. Worked a grinding sales job in town then drove home to my wife and 2 kids.
One late afternoon I got home after being in crazy traffic for an hour and a half. Brutal day at work totally stressing about money etc
Paddled out to absolutely perfect 6’ v land. Packed but tons of waves. Sun going down quick. Waited my turn totally respectful playing by the rules etc
Finally in the spot for a perfect right and as I’m paddling slater starts paddling for the same wave not even looking at me. I’m a competent surfer and had surfed v land for 20 years at that point. I can’t believe this guy is hustling me. He lives in a beach house and surfs all day and and goes to bed every night next to Giselle ( this was around 2006 or so ). And I’m just a working stiff trying to get ONE barrel to rinse off the grime before I go home and tell my wife we are going to be late with the rent.
I stand up and am forced to yell “ HEY” in a modest tone at Slater. He keeps paddling. “HEY IM GOING!!!!” was my next move. He backed off and I got a killer ride. But as I paddled back out I got a few looks from people as if I was at fault.
Made me quit rooting for the guy
it was just me, rasta and about 10 bodyboarders one time at 6 foot OTW long time ago. thought he was gonna be cool (cuz we both werent spongers) and just take turns and he just hassled me for every single wave and it was just annoying. couldnt stand him after that
That sucks.
On the other side of the ledger, KS pulled back on a wave at Burleigh your ol pal Snipes was careering along, lightly out of control, wind singing in his hair. I hollered, go, go, go. Would’ve been like driving behind Senna. V sad not to experience.
I don’t think Rasta even comes close to Margo as the first and greatest free surfer ….
Fuck oath
Having spent time with both of these guys, Dave is the better human being to share air with.
But I bet Kelly smells better.
I’m lucky enough to have surfed with Rasta once and lucky enough to have never surfed with Kelly.
Actually, surfing with Kelly is sort of a non-issue if you’re a normal person because he’s so much deeper and going so much faster than that I don’t even feel like I’m a factor.
But on land, he’ll tell you stories about himself only to ignore your response and look at his phone.
Kelly posting soooooo much on social media and collecting that many famous friends doesn’t happen by accident.
And it’s not remotely close. Rasta’s pretty open and chill. Slater is guarded, deeply broken. Would be interesting to get high with Kelly though.
Kelly on drugs would be wild.
That movie where he burned down the ozone layer to surf 3 continents of one swell. Thats my hippy free surfer😀.
100 % agree a totally full of shit cunt ,what about whrn he was interfeering with whales getting up close in their space no one does that what a cunt.
I thought the freesurfer title went to Machado.
Free surfer… my Solo journey in Indo by bike. With a film crew…
Cheers, midget!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Haha this is great Chrissy drinking and reading material, keep it up boys
absolute classic swinging dick battle.
Hunner % mate. When we smashed the Poms within 11 days I wondered where my entertainment was going to come from over Chrissy. Then within an hour blood feuds between Old Baldy and Rasta and None and Com started up and all me worries were washed away haha
Like a good lager with the creek running
None seems like a truly miserable POS, but that’s a great line
long haired pseudo bohemian, fake nonconformist retro hippie wannabe v.
Bald head 11x world champion multi -millionaire supah stah who has a Chinese girlfriend and a kid named Tao…..and doesn’t mind blowing holes in intruders….and banning humorous folk from his instaccount.
who’s the winner?
Hahahahaha what a choice ay. What about this one, a 6ft5 pool loving seppo lawyer who thinks his shit don’t stink or a heaps angry Strayan blow in who claims to be a retired carpenter but who talks like a political studies nerd cunt who has shoved a thesaurus up his rusty sheriffs badge? Haha only joking boys and love yous both so please fuck don’t take offence, life is all about learning to laugh at yourself.
Oh Happy I forgot to say I owe you an apology for misunderstanding your comment on another thread after indulging in several too many Chrissy beers yesty. We have always got on well so I’m sorry mate. There ya go cunts aint that hard ay haha
Just delete your comment and no apology
Abandon your thought
What is with all the deletions?
Is there something going on with deletions? I am outta the loop?
Sorry mate only just seen this. NONE went on a massive post and delete binge so people were replying but the threads made no sense cuz the comment had been deleted
it’s like playing the song Fire on High in reverse wherein ELO included a backward message that says, “The music is reversible, but time… is not. Turn back! Turn back!”.
No offense taken—None/Gila is the thin-skinned one in this pissing contest.
One’s a cunt and one’s a hippy cunt, sorry Dave, you lose.
John John and Medina
David so much diff in real life.
https://youtu.be/OoTbXu1qnbc
The whole west coast of Oz be like, Rasta who ?
The whole east coast is thinking when are those shit cunts over in the west ever going to help out and produce a world champ? They’re always boasting about how good the waves are over there haha
Robbo is trying his best. And you question “THE TOUR” and why no Western Australians can be bothered?
The waves are cooking over here everyday….
So should they go slog “The Tour” and surf in shit 2ft conditions every comp…
meanwhile Steph, JJF and Medina are milking and enjoying life not having to try doing 3-5 flippy birds in 2 foot waves every comp….
Yea we dont actually give a real flying fuck about world champ one foot wonders we are to busy trying to master our personal surfing in real surf.
Is that you Flick?
Forgive him, he’s probably from Perth.
Like Flick is
Your the one that seems to know all the surf hero names typical east coast queensland surf comp hero idealization behaviour.
WOW
You seen that new Noa movie yet? Soooooo fucking mental
Its on my list of things to do today!
The whole West Coast is full of hipster fkwits in vans, wtf are you talking about?
Yep true and all with east coast number plates.